"I want to see my options"

[Gsquare]

Here is my story, me and my ex were together for 2 years, but she dumped me last month right before she turns 21. Her reason for dumping me was "I want to see my options, I want to see whats out there, and I dont want to be tie down". But what I dont understand is that a month right before she dump me, we were still planning for our future together and happily in love like a perfect couple. We never argue, and we were in a really commited relationship. Anyways, 10 days after she dumped me, she met some guy at a party and start dating him, slept with him on the first date, and slept over at his house on the 3rd date. And now she is thinking about getting serious with him. A mutual friend told me all this. Oh one thing, right before she met the new guy, I talked with her, thats before I try to apply NC. I told her that since we broke up, I went on a date and that it doesn't feel the same and I miss her alot. She seems to be jealous of the fact, cause she was eager to find out about the detail, which I didn't disclose too much information on. But since then I been trying to apply NC for over a week now, and out of the blue she email me today saying "O I hope you are happy and have moved on, b/c I have and I am dating someone else"

 

Is she trying to burn the bridges by telling me to move on? Can any1 please make sense of all this for me? Can a girl really fell out of love that quickly in less than one month of time? I really loved her, should I be hopeful for a 2nd chance? I didn't put my life on hold btw, I apply all the advice from this forum, I got 24 hour fitness membership, took up some ballroom dancing class, and learning guitar soon.

[oss91]

Just play it cool and don't make a fool out of yourself or do anything that you will be embarassed about later on down the road i.e. begging, being insecure, etc. Let her go, she's young and it's natural for girls to want to play the field at this point. Basically, she's shopping around. Girls do like to shop don't they? Why I will never truly understand, but that's a conversation for some other time. I will tell you this much though, the fact she emailed you and told you that she has moved on probably is an indicator that she hasn't moved on. Not yet at least, and who knows what the future will hold. People don't simply forget another person that has been really close to them for an extended period of time that quickly. It doesn't happen, or else I simply have yet to meet someone that unattached. She's "been let off the leash" and is now moving away from you at ludicrous speed (Space Balls reference) but she will eventually slow down. How long that takes is anyone's guess, and how you'll respond is up to you.

[garnet]

agreed. She is confused and doesn't know what she wants, but she obviously is still thinking about you. But the more she knows you're there for her, the more she'll keep pulling away. She wants to feel like she has her freedom...when she really feels like she has it, she may not want it as much anymore. But in the meantime, the best thing you can do is proceed with your life without her.

[Guest]

Is there any other opinion on this, I want to see what everybody has to say about this

[Gsquare]

Thanks for the replys, but she seem like she really wants to get serious with this new guys. If she wants to play the field, why did she got out of one commited relationship to quickly jump into another? She was all saying how charming and handsome this new guy is on her webpage and message, much of the same words she said to me durinng our two years together. I know I shouldn't have even looked, but I couldn't resist, and I am sure that she dont know that I looked. Is there any more opinion on this? I hope to hear more ppl out, I am confuse .

 

O almight caliguy, no foolin, and other expert on this, all please come and analysis my situation please....

[riobikini]

RE:

 

GSquare: "Anyways, 10 days after she dumped me, she met some guy at a party and start dating him, slept with him on the first date, and slept over at his house on the 3rd date. And now she is thinking about getting serious with him. "

 

Sounds like she already ***got serious*** with him.

 

GSquare: " Is she trying to burn the bridges by telling me to move on?"

 

Affirmative.

 

-Rio

[Ukwizard]

Hi Gsquare,

 

Your ex sounds very much like my ex. Except the 4 days after we split up she went back on to the internet and met another guy!

 

You see women can keep their feelings hidden inside. For my ex she did not like confrontation at all. She would hide her feelings. Scared of being submissive. Your ex may have changed her feelings towards you weeks before she broke up with you.

 

With my ex I know back in Sept 2005, my ex was still very much into me, and she used to email me how much she missed me, and told me seh was getting withdrawal symptons as I wasnt talking or IMing her. It was Oct 2005 that was the fall of our realtionship. We slept on the same bed, and the week later she tried to call me by phone (I didnt pick up thinking it was a sales company)and later that night I got the awful email telling me I had been dumped.

 

Its likely that she is emtionally immature. Especially at 21. Hell, when I was 21 I knew what kind of woman I wanted, but all my friends who where in relationships at that time, would be in 2 or 3 different relationships in a year!!

 

Yeah its also human nature to be curious to find out what you are doing. My ex emailed me last week after not emailing me for a whole month. She had found a profile of me talking about her, adn she had the cheek to tell me to amend my profile. She told me in the email that she had `just` recieved my e-card. Utter crap as I sent that card to her in August 2005. She was just snooping to find out what I had been up to.

 

So if you think 1 month is short. Try 1 week!! Please dont try to work/analyse the time period. She may have fallen out of love with you months before. The time she talked about `our future` may have been because she had a `good day`.

 

Good luck my friend. Are you wanting a second chance? You never mentioned it in your post.

[Gsquare]

Yes I do want second chance, should I be hopeful for it? Thanks for all the great replys.

[blue636]

Yes I do want second chance, should I be hopeful for it? Thanks for all the great replys.

 

 

Sure, you can hope for it. You can be hopeful about anything you like... just don't have any expectations. There is a difference. So what does this mean? Move on with your life and go onto doing new things and making new friends - or start dating if you feel like you're ready. You can always hope she'll come around and want another chance with you, but just don't count on it. Make sense?

[Gsquare]

Last night my Ex went to AIM one of my best friend, and told him to tell me to move on, and she also told him that she have moved on. I dont get it? Telling me to move on is one thing, but tell me friends to tell me to move on after we have broken up for almost a month with atleast two and half week of LC and NC? And beside, in the pass week or two, I have done nothing that shows I am not moving on. Oh, and she found out from that friend of mine that we are going clubbing tonight, and she sent me an email last night. Here is how it goes "Good luck, have fun with peter tmw, I am going to be with Kent" Ok so what now? What is she trying to do?