real_diablo Posted April 6, 2006 Share Posted April 6, 2006 [sIZE=1]My g/f of 3.5 years wanted time apart though wouldn’t respect NC so I broke it off. Its been 2 months since then and I feel a lot stronger and together In my thoughts. I know its over though I still care for her and wanted to know how she was. (also the fact I heard she wasn’t coping very well had me worried) I broke NC and rang her last night and we spoke for 5 mins or so, just general chit chat, nothing too deep and not too long, but a nice chat nonetheless. She was out and said she'll call me back tonight or later on in the week as she really wanted to continue the chat. She sounded really excited and happy I called, and told me so herself. Im comfortable with a chat every now and then and also comfortable with not broaching the topic of us until she is ready. Is this the wrong move? [/sIZE] Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted April 6, 2006 Share Posted April 6, 2006 Let her call you back. Don't initate anymore contact. Link to post Share on other sites
coasting Posted April 8, 2006 Share Posted April 8, 2006 I guess I would have to say let her call you back.....I recieved an email from my ex tonight asking if I was going to let him know how and when he could pick up his stuff...I simply respoded " I will let you know when I can have someone here with me", sent it and then b;pcked him from my mailinglist....I don't know if this what the right or wrong thing to do... Link to post Share on other sites
Author real_diablo Posted April 10, 2006 Author Share Posted April 10, 2006 [sIZE=1]I received a call from my ex this morning… she said she had rung to follow up on a matter we are working through though I could tell she wanted to talk more so I started the conversation. I let her do most of the talking… only small chat and didn’t last long as I didn’t want to over do it, though we had a nice laugh together which felt good… told her to call me if she ever wanted to chat and she said the same to me. i dont know what any of this might mean though Im just gonna take everything one step at a time. [/sIZE] Link to post Share on other sites
Author real_diablo Posted April 18, 2006 Author Share Posted April 18, 2006 [sIZE=1]My ex rang me again though she rang regarding a business matter, we ended up chatting for a while afterwards, caught up on some general chit chat sort of things and had a couple of laughs also. This is the 2nd or 3rd time she has called since I initiated contact again though she always uses the business premise as a reason for her calling. (though we do move on and start talking about other things) Im trying not to read into anything and am sure we wont be getting back together, though I'd be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy our recent chats. Am I possibly missing anything or maybe reading into this a little too much? [/sIZE] Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 Are you wanting to get back together i am confused?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author real_diablo Posted April 19, 2006 Author Share Posted April 19, 2006 Ultimately i would like to give us a 2nd chance though im not getting any sort of communication that hints at this being a possibility. Link to post Share on other sites
Author real_diablo Posted April 27, 2006 Author Share Posted April 27, 2006 [sIZE=1]Its been about 2 weeks since I initiated contact with my ex and since than she has rung me about 5-6 times, mostly regarding a business matter though the last time she rang we spoke and I had to get back to work, she rang back about 10mins later and wanted to chat again….so we spoke for a while… though I didn’t think it was appropriate to get into too deep a conversation over the phone. She rang me a few days later and we had a small chat, nice and relaxed. I rang her the following day and asked if she wanted to catch up for a coffee, she said she was ill and that "todays probably not the best time". I am not going to call her again. Basically I want to leave things in her court as I don’t want to come across as though I am chasing her or that im hoping we will get back together now. Am I setting myself for more heartache? [/sIZE] Link to post Share on other sites
chocolate_boy Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 [sIZE=1] Am I setting myself for more heartache? [/sIZE] I'd say almost definitely Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 28, 2006 Share Posted April 28, 2006 Yes be strong sounds like she needs to make up her own mind what she wants. But also sounds like she is still digging you so hang on...no more calling!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author real_diablo Posted May 8, 2006 Author Share Posted May 8, 2006 [sIZE=1]My ex rang me about 5 days ago and we had a nice chat about general developments in our life, work family etc. Funnily enough, had some points where we finshed eachothers sentences and basically, overall enjoyed a pretty positive and pleasant conversation. She is the process of starting a new job and once again said to me she wanted to catch up with me once she settles into the role, we, at the same time said for eachother to call when we want though I nicely stated she should call me when she wants to catch up… Im not getting excited (though i do still love her and the relationship to have a 2nd chance) and am really trying to take things a day at a time. Being she has called the last few times do I call now or should I wait until she calls again? does what she's doing really mean anything? Link to post Share on other sites
Author real_diablo Posted May 9, 2006 Author Share Posted May 9, 2006 [sIZE=1]I need some help with this one. The reason I am so hesitant to call again is because: My ex had said to me ( when we broke up originally) she is not happy in our relationship though she doesn’t know why, and that she doesn’t see her future with me in it. I reacted at first in desperation and chased her, then I left her alone but was there when she wanted to talk, then I was angry and told her to never call me again and that I don’t want her in my life, and just recently after NC for about 2 months I decided to call her as I rgretted not leaving the door open, even if only a little bit. She has always said she is really confused and doesn’t want to be in a relationship and she needs time to sort herself out and decide if she wants to give our relationship a go though she has also said after taking this time she might not want to give it another go.. She isnt seeing anyone and neither am I and as per my previous posts, we have only just started communicating…(I just wanted to give you all a brief background history) [/sIZE] Link to post Share on other sites
Author real_diablo Posted May 10, 2006 Author Share Posted May 10, 2006 [sIZE=1]Its been a while since me and my ex have broken up and we have only just started communicating again…. The problem I have is I don’t know if there is any hope of us getting back together…. I do want to give 'us' a 2nd chance though I don’t know where shes at and how she is feeling 'deep down'… Im really having a hard time moving as you can see from my previous posts. Your comments would be appreciated. thanks [/sIZE] Link to post Share on other sites
Author real_diablo Posted May 11, 2006 Author Share Posted May 11, 2006 [sIZE=1]Can someone help me out…I really want to call though am fighting the urge…am I being naïve and simply reading into her behaviour…? [/sIZE] Link to post Share on other sites
dr strangelove Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 First thing is, chill out. I ask my self why is that the rest of you get a chance to speak with your ex or meet with them or hang out etc.. and yet totally choke. I feel like a man in prison compared to the rest of you. In any case ... you are totally dropping the ball Is it ok to phone? ... yes When? well when do you think she is home? When not to call? first thing the morning, late at night, any day like friday or saturday because those are days that are usually date days or party nights. Excuses: well jimbo? you know her better then me.. any articles you can think of about this work thing? theres many different excuses you can use How often can I call? Once a week, no answer leave a message, wait for a call back, if none try again in one week. What should I say when Im on the phone? Well I remember you said she wanted to go with you on some jobs.. or was that a different guy? You could say that you intend to go see some movie, see if she asks to come along or if she says oh Id like to see that movie too..bingo ask he if she would like to come along. I wish I could somehow take over your mind but I cant. Heres a tip ..try pretend you are just trying to date her for the first time.. what did you do? ..say? how did you ask her out etc..? MAIN THING IS YOU SHOULD BE SEARCHing for something that she will come meet you.. 1) movie idea 2) meet for a coffee and discuss new info about work..say you have documents to show her 3) ask her to help you pick out some new sheets for your bed.. whatever man its easy dont choke.. u feel that way..back off..take a breather..take a shower a drive whatever..... pm if you need more support..ciao you lucky s.o.b. ... care of the state pen Link to post Share on other sites
Author real_diablo Posted May 23, 2006 Author Share Posted May 23, 2006 [sIZE=1][sIZE=1]I rec'd a call form my ex yesterday… we spoke for a while mostly about things going on in her life, as I didn’t really want to say too much. In brief she told me doesnt like being single though doesn’t know if she wants to giive us a 2nd chance… she said she wanted me to move on and to be happy. I said while I wanted to give us another chance I wasnt sitting still waiting for her and am moving on. I also made it clear if me and her were over that I didn’t want to be just friends. She said she doesn’t know what she wants and wants to get settled into her new job and get some stability in her life before she starts thinking about relationships and Us... I didn’t put any pressure on her though I told her where I stand… she said she told me she really loves me and still cares for me though she doesn’t know if she wants to give it another go. Please help, what does this all mean??? (It sounds to me that we are over though is she just being polite by leaving the door open [/sIZE][/sIZE] Link to post Share on other sites
dr strangelove Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 Look Can I say something? First..... I cant believe the time I put into this site posting. Im curious has anything I have ever said helped anyone? second dont worry about what it means. third Stop talking about "well do you want to get back together?" no dude see that ruins the whole romance aspect of it. Doesnt look like you took my advice from last post I did. Link to post Share on other sites
dr strangelove Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 The way you are trying to go about this is like selling insurance over the phone.. Call her up and tell her you would like to take her to dinner or something to celebrate the new job she got.. something like that.. ok? Do you want me to write this out for you step by step? Link to post Share on other sites
Author real_diablo Posted May 23, 2006 Author Share Posted May 23, 2006 [sIZE=1]The problem is ive already asked her out once and she said no, she isnt ready and she would call me when she wanted to catch up, so 1. Ii don’t really want to pressure her 2. if she wanted to catch up she would have mentioned something about it. Also, this is not something I wanted (the break-up) though I am the only making any effort or saying anything positive. Am I missing anything? [/sIZE] Link to post Share on other sites
dr strangelove Posted May 23, 2006 Share Posted May 23, 2006 Didnt she make all these excuses to hang out with you, before? or do I have the wrong idea... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 31, 2006 Share Posted May 31, 2006 Nope, I think she was saying we'd catch up for coffee just to be nice…she hasn’t really persisted to be honest. In saying that, she called me again last week… basically had a nice chat though also spoke about how she hates being single, doesn’t go to niteclubs as much and hates meeting people… she said she thinks about giving us a 2nd chance though isnt sure, she said she wants me to move on and be happy… I told her being single is what she wanted and also told her not to worry I am not waiting for her and moving on… Is she just playing with me or do you think she really is confused??? ( I am seeing her at mutual friends bday this week…for the first time in about 3 months) Link to post Share on other sites
Author real_diablo Posted May 31, 2006 Author Share Posted May 31, 2006 [sIZE=1]Nope, I think she was saying we'd catch up for coffee just to be nice…she hasn’t mentioned it for a while. In saying that, she called me again last week… basically spoke about how she hates being single, doesn’t go to niteclubs as much and hates meeting new people… she said she thinks about giving us a 2nd chance though isnt sure, she said she wants me to move on and be happy… I told her being single is what she wanted and also told her not to worry I am not waiting for her and moving on… Is she just playing gameswith me or do you think she really is confused??? ( I am seeing her at mutual friends bday this week…for the first time in about 3 months) Would it be wrong to call her and see how her first week at work went? [/sIZE] Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts