Did you grow up in a "normal" family?

[alphamale]

And they are susceptible to peer pressure because.....

well....b_O. its not cause they are genetically predisposed or "f***ed in the head" or mentally ill based upon your reply below in another thread:

 

You can't go around using that as an excuse. So I have to work harder to get better, so what?

 

This is not an excuse to make absolutely no effort -- a defeatist attitude cannot be argued genetically because there would be no way that would increase a person's chance at survival or reproduction

 

....so then what could it be?? socio-economic? but these problems span all social and economic strata in society.

[blind_otter]

well....b_O. its not cause they are genetically predisposed or "f***ed in the head" or mentally ill based upon your reply below in another thread:

 

....so then what could it be?? socio-economic? but these problems span all social and economic strata in society.

 

No, you drew the wrong assertion. I was stating in the other thread, that just because you have a predisposition gives you no excuse to engage in the behavior. You just have to work harder to avoid it. I don't see how these two posts are connected.

 

Being f***ed in the head doesn't have to be correlated with genetic factors. You could have a bad socio-economic environment.

 

I could write a huge post about my theories as to why mental issues and depression are so wide spread, but that would be more than a hyjack. Start a new thread, fancy pants.

[a4a]

feel free to jack the thread......

quite interesting.

[RecordProducer]

I was very much loved by my parents and I think they're great parents (this doesn't mean ideal). They both have their quirks, but they never beat me, abused me, neglected me or made me feel unloved. They rarely even yelled at me. I was a good kid, they say. (I don't know what happened...)

 

As I am writing this, my children are hugging me :love: , which means I continued the pattern of loving parenthood. My parents were both loved by their parents and were raised in traditional, more-or-less normal families: tender mothers and strict fathers.

 

My mom's dad beat the sh*t out of her brother (never her) when he was a teenager and I believe that screwed my mom up in many aspects. They both had tender and caring mothers.

 

When I was almost 7, my parents split up. My mom married a monster who abused us emotionally, molested me, beat her, cheated on her, and basically ruined my childhood and her best years of life. I went through depression, drinking problem, suicidal attempts, bad marriage and divorce...

 

I decided to be a normal person and let my soul heal. I am almost there. I abandoned everything and moved to the US. I have a great husband and a traditional, normal American life.

 

For the first time in my life I feel secure in my own home. (I only miss my parents terribly. )

[alphamale]

Start a new thread, fancy pants.

no, i'm done discussing this issue.

[a4a]

no, i'm done discussing this issue.

 

said like a true alpha male!

[basscatcher]

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.

3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.

4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.

8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

 

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.

2) Wrinkles don't hurt.

3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet! , with a few nuts.

4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.

5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy

 

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing up is mandatory; growing old is optional.

2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.

4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.

6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

 

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.

2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.

3) You are Santa Claus.

4) You look like Santa Claus

 

SUCCESS

At age 4 success is . . not peeing in your pants.

At age 12 success is having friends.

At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.

At age 35 success is . having money.

At age 50 success is . . . having money.

At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.

At age 75 success is having friends.

At age 80 success is . not peeing in your pants

 

 

Sorry I had to share since ths is about life.

[blind_otter]

Ok, my treatise on the exponetial increase in depression and anxiety? We developed in a certain type of environment. I recently rented that french movie "Quest for Fire" -- one scene, where a hunter gatherer dude witnesses a member froma tribal group create fire, he openly weeps.

 

I digress. Geological and evolutionary time are excruciatingly sloooooow. Humans have learned to alter the environment in which they exist, to increase conveninece and efficiency, to such a fast and huge degree that the insinctual impulses of our ancestors have yet to catch up.

 

Our emotions, as reluctant romeo recently told me, serve a purpose and a function. A primary function of emotions in the cortex helps us organize, store, and access information in the brain. Back in the day, you had an emotional experience because your life was threatened. Because your family was starving, that kind of thing.

 

Now we have all these random things around us, eliciting emotion, causing us to file excess paperwork in our brains. Of course there is information overload. Therefore, the machinery malfunctions more often than it would in its environment or origin.

 

We ignore that from which we came, and deny our basic animal nature, convincing ourselves that we can "out think it"....but in the process, we actually only out think ourselves. And are stuck with a heavy load of emotional memory and no way to process it logically.

[Pyro]

Curious and wondering how many people think they were reared in a normal family?

 

How does your childhood effect your own family now?

 

Do you think you are raising your kids any different than you were raised or plan to do so differently?

 

I grew up in a normal and somwhat not normal family. We didn't have a large sum of money, both my parents worked to make a living for us. At the same time, my dad was away for hours of the night because he was an alcoholic and was a member of a motorcycle club. When I was about 10, he gave all that up but he started smoking/growing pot and doing coke. He tried to hide it, but I knew better. He was laid off every winter and it created alot of stress on my mom, which led to her cheating on him a few years later.

 

My mom has been a good mom for the most part. She cared greatly for my brother, sister, and myself. Like I said, she always worked. At one point she had two jobs. Everything was fine until the chapter of my life occurred when she cheated on my Dad and they went through a nasty divorce. Ever since that occurred, my mom has been committed to our church.

 

Overall, my Dad was fine at the very beginning, but he went straight downhill thereafter. If I had to pick one thing that my Dad has done for me, that would be that he is a walking and talking example of what drug and alcohol abuse will do to you. That is why I am so disciplined in knowing what my limit is when I drink.

 

I am thankful for my mom busting her ass to make a living for her kids. I am also thankful for her introducing me to my church and my faith at such a young age. It has helped me blossom and mature to the person that I am today.

 

No family or kids of my own just yet. No rush on that.

[luvtoto]

My mother walked out on my dad & me when I was only 4 months old. Never heard from her again.

 

I was the apple of my dad's eye until about eight. That was when, my dad started to pull away from me and neglect me. I thought it was 'cause he remarried and my new step-mom didn't like me.

 

I was not like by my SM and wasn't liked by my dad. Got to the point where I would just come home from school and lock myself in my room for the rest of the night.

 

I turned into a huge rebel, and left the house with a couple bucks in my pocket to live with a couple friends.

 

I always felt like a bad seed of the family and could never quite figure out why I was such a bad person. How come I was so unloveable?

 

I no longer talk to them, and I think they prefer it that way.

 

A couple years ago, I met my biological mother. The first day I showed up to see her, her husband was there with her. He told me that he was my real dad. He wasn't sure his whole life, but now he is. (I have alot of physical traits that are identical to him). The dad that raised me, must have realized throughout my upbringing that I was not his. He hated me for it.

 

Needless to say. Just in that one instance...my entire life made sense. I spent the next few years in a *huge* depression. My bm became abusive and I cut her out of my life.

 

I just filed a protection order against her so she will quit stalking me. My bio-father just died of cancer.

 

It's a wonder that I turned out so good despite everything. After my depression lifted I realized that I am a good person and all the other people were WACKO!!!!

 

I am happy now...I do struggle with improving my parenting skills on a daily basis. The things that a normal parent does..like show up to BB games...do homework...know where they are at all times...is a struggle. I never had a good role model to show me how it's done.

 

By the way, I do all of those things with my kids. Every time I do...I think "Man, my parents where jerks!!"

[alphamale]

I am happy now...I do struggle with improving my parenting skills on a daily basis. The things that a normal parent does..like show up to BB games...do homework...know where they are at all times...is a struggle. I never had a good role model to show me how it's done.

Thats a nice story with a happy ending LUVTOTO

[whichwayisup]

Curious and wondering how many people think they were reared in a normal family?

 

How does your childhood effect your own family now?

 

Do you think you are raising your kids any different than you were raised or plan to do so differently?

 

I feel very lucky and fortunate to have had two loving parents and a normal, happy upbringing. Other than the usual stuff kids go through growing up (Fights with siblings, doing stupid things, being punished etc.,) I never experienced anything really awful or damaging which affects me now. I have issues but they aren't that serious.

[luvtoto]

Thats a nice story with a happy ending LUVTOTO

Thanks alpha!

[tinktronik]

I grew up in an odd assortment of homes :

Gma & Gpa

My paternal GP took me home from the hospital , my Dad lived next door.

We lived in the country my Gpa was hard working strickt and loving , my Gma was at home always cooked everymeal and held tight to her family,my Dad stumbled around trying to be a man (at 20) and a father to a daughter .

When I was 5 my Gma died.

 

Mom:

My mother came and got me . This woman is ill mentally , was abusive and my other siblings and I dashed around the country persuing whatever drug crazed man that had run away from her . Las Vegas , Los Angeles ,Houston, Orlando , Tampa, Somewhere in Wyoming, St.Louis and many more(these are the places I recall from when I was 5). None of us went to school.

 

When I was 6 I went to live with my Aunt :

My aunt was a vegan animal lover , warm smart and quite independend, my uncle was an alcoholic (never really noticed it though) Both were quite wonderful kept a good home for myself and my cousin .My aunt made games for us to play made sure homework was done and there was always hot food for dinner.

 

7-back to mom

 

8-To my dad's sister, Aunt 2:

Oh how to explain this woman, out in the counry also , she was a young single mom herself , she slept a lot and was completely irresponsible .But she has a heart of gold .Her home was filled with animals that new her home would welcome them .She was poor and I believe lived off a stipend from my Gpa to help with me .But it was great.Shes still the perpetual teen .

9-back to my mom's sis'

Till 12 My Aunt and Uncle divorced.

13 -back to mom

14- moved out on my own and I've been that way ever since.

I must say , Normal-def not .

The time with my mom has scarred me for life , and moving around so much probably did'ent help but the impact of varying experiences in my life was irreplacable.I got a range of influence in my life from many different scorces that I wouldent trade for a normal childhood , ever.

 

My kids ;I'm not surprisingly divorced and my kids have been shuttled around a bit (on Dad's watch) .But I talk to them everyday when they are not with me, and have never raised a hand to any of them .We do normal things together like map the stars, and play baseball on a team , dig sandcastles , I'm currently building a treehouse in the backyard of the home I just bought . My boys know they'll always have me , and that they come first no matter what.My life now almost seems sureal , its so normal .This is what I've strived for for my kids and its falling into place more and more everyday.

[catgirl1927]

Let's see: my mother was a gold-digging sorority whore, my father was a spoiled overpriviledged a**h*** who came from a VERY abusive home. By abusive, I mean his father beat him and his siblings and his mother, and his father told them every single day at least once a day how much better the world would be if they were all dead. In a nutshell. So, my mother dated my father, my father's family hated her, so when my father went to Vietnam he proposed, thinking he would die gloriously in war and his father would be so, so sorry. He got back and my mother still thought they were going to get married, my father tried to back out and his father MADE him marry her. Seriously. MADE him. So they got married and my father immediately took up with some woman. My mother was a teacher, and didn't like working. So right as my father was getting ready to hightail it outta there with his girlfriend, guess who flushes her BC pills and gets knocked up? Classy, huh. Again, grandfather intercedes and won't allow my father to leave. Guess who gets blamed for ruining my father's life? Clearly I, in the womb, engineered this whole thing, because if a baby gets to choose where they go, they would definitely choose a couple of nut jobs like these. So I barely got out of my mother before the abuse started. A few years later my mother gets knocked up again and has twins. My father tries to leave, his father says no. The beatings get worse. My mother is no angel here, either. She's really pissed me at me for showing up without a penis, because my father would have started loving her if I had one. The first time she called me a slut I was seven years old. She taught me to be ashamed of myself, to hate myself. I wasn't a pretty child at all, so they told me I was smart. One summer I got my period and got all curvy, stopped letting her fix my hair and took off my glasses, and suddenly I was a drooling moron. The rest of high school I was told I was too stupid to ever be anything but some rich guy's wife. Two years of college was all my father was willing to waste on me, so rather than marry whatever wifebeater he picked I got a job and put myself through college. My father was fairly successful so I was 21 years old before I knew how to put gas in my own car. I haven't talked to either one of them for about 13 years.

[alphamale]

I haven't talked to either one of them for about 13 years.

thats pretty rough CG1927....oh well, at least y'all had money

[Pyro]

Let's see: my mother was a gold-digging sorority whore, my father was a spoiled overpriviledged a**h*** who came from a VERY abusive home. By abusive, I mean his father beat him and his siblings and his mother, and his father told them every single day at least once a day how much better the world would be if they were all dead. In a nutshell. So, my mother dated my father, my father's family hated her, so when my father went to Vietnam he proposed, thinking he would die gloriously in war and his father would be so, so sorry. He got back and my mother still thought they were going to get married, my father tried to back out and his father MADE him marry her. Seriously. MADE him. So they got married and my father immediately took up with some woman. My mother was a teacher, and didn't like working. So right as my father was getting ready to hightail it outta there with his girlfriend, guess who flushes her BC pills and gets knocked up? Classy, huh. Again, grandfather intercedes and won't allow my father to leave. Guess who gets blamed for ruining my father's life? Clearly I, in the womb, engineered this whole thing, because if a baby gets to choose where they go, they would definitely choose a couple of nut jobs like these. So I barely got out of my mother before the abuse started. A few years later my mother gets knocked up again and has twins. My father tries to leave, his father says no. The beatings get worse. My mother is no angel here, either. She's really pissed me at me for showing up without a penis, because my father would have started loving her if I had one. The first time she called me a slut I was seven years old. She taught me to be ashamed of myself, to hate myself. I wasn't a pretty child at all, so they told me I was smart. One summer I got my period and got all curvy, stopped letting her fix my hair and took off my glasses, and suddenly I was a drooling moron. The rest of high school I was told I was too stupid to ever be anything but some rich guy's wife. Two years of college was all my father was willing to waste on me, so rather than marry whatever wifebeater he picked I got a job and put myself through college. My father was fairly successful so I was 21 years old before I knew how to put gas in my own car. I haven't talked to either one of them for about 13 years.

 

I am so sorry that you had to put up with a couple of nuts like that. Good job on staying away from them. Keeping ties with them would only bring you down. Who gives a flying f*ck if they have money? He was only willing to pay for two years of your school. What an as$hole. After hearing a story like that, I am so glad that you were able to put yourself through school and go on to better things. Congratulations.

[alphamale]

Who gives a flying f*ck if they have money?

she could have been in the same exact situation and the family could have been poor....it would have made a bad situation worse.

[Pyro]

she could have been in the same exact situation and the family could have been poor....it would have made a bad situation worse.

 

I am sure that most would have rather lived on the streets then go through what she had to go through growing up.

[tinktronik]

I am sure that most would have rather lived on the streets then go through what she had to go through growing up.

 

She could have done both Riddler , I think that was the point.

[blind_otter]

I am sure that most would have rather lived on the streets then go through what she had to go through growing up.

 

f*** that s***. have you ever been homeless?

 

i didn't think so. I went back to my parents house after I had been living out of my car for months when I was really bad into the drugs.

 

Having food to eat and a roof over your head trumps a lot of crap.

[alphamale]

Having food to eat and a roof over your head trumps a lot of crap.

agreed...ask anyone living in a 3rd world country.

[a4a]

f*** that s***. have you ever been homeless?

 

i didn't think so. I went back to my parents house after I had been living out of my car for months when I was really bad into the drugs.

 

Having food to eat and a roof over your head trumps a lot of crap.

 

yeppers, you will put up with a whole heap of s*** once you are hungry and cold.

[tinktronik]

f*** that s***. have you ever been homeless?

 

i didn't think so. I went back to my parents house after I had been living out of my car for months when I was really bad into the drugs.

 

Having food to eat and a roof over your head trumps a lot of crap.

 

I've been there too Blind otter , try working as a stripper in a nude club when your 16 years old.Just to have a roof over your head .Try couch surfing for years as a young woman and reaizing your out of couches .I would have paid to have a family that had money abuse me over the crazy broke mother that had us living in a car chasing after a crank adict and she abused us.

[tinktronik]

He was only willing to pay for two years of your school. What an as$hole.

 

 

:lmao:

Im sorry CG this is not aimed at you , but it somehow struck me as funny.