Wot should i do ????

[chocolatebox06]

Help im feeling so confused !!!!

 

Last October, I'd had enough !! I told my husband (30 and I'm 34) it was over - we'd been 2gether for 11 years and have 3 kids. We were arguing a lot and he was always shouting and calling myself and kids names it was horrible and acussing me of having an affair with my best mates lodger !! which i definately wasnt. He was so desparate to have me back, I was having none of it. I was getting thro the break up with the help of my best mate in the day and an internet friend of a nite !!! He kept threatening me he was divorcing me so I put in for divorce to show i was serious.

 

Christmas was hard, we both used each other for help and support, he came back home as a friend, but after the new year he was telling the kids he was moving back in - i put an end to it there and then !!!! It then turned nasty to the point that a harassment notice was served on him by the police.

 

He kept beging me to take him back and I was adamant no. You can see how much he missed me and kids he's lost loads of weight, he was a broken man.

 

Then, last weekend, I saw him working in the garden, and there I found myself saying thats my man (I still find him attractive) and then that nite I saw him with his new girlfriend (18). It killed me. I knew about her, but to see her in his car with him well that was the end. I havnt stopped crying since, Im adamant now that I want him back !!!!

 

Roles are now definately reversed, and I'm beging him to take me back!!!

He's fobing me off with "I dont know wot to do" or not answering the phone or switching it off.

 

Help wot am I doing??? Theres about 4 weeks left until were divorced !!!! Am I being a fool !!!

[Curmudgeon]

Oh my goodness! There's nothing more sad than seeing two people who really and truly love one another end up divorced out of pride; neither willing to admit to the other that it's gone too far and is really not what they want.

 

You have four weeks left. That's time enough to be honest, bare your soul, hope he does the same and it all works out as it's meant to. Just be sure to hang onto your pride (reasonably) and not put yourself in a diminuative position for the sake of holding the relationship together.

 

A marriage is made up of two equals coming together to enhance one another. Neither should be subserviant to the other.

You'll be taking a huge risk but nothing ventured, nothing gained.

 

Best of luck to you.

[chocolatebox06]

Thanks for taking time out to reply to me but its too late for me and ex. I did pour my soul to him yesterday told him how I felt and what I wanted. He couldnt look at me and went.

 

Today?? His mother has got his sim card from mobile !!!!! Yep, he's run to mummy and I cant get hold of him at all now and she's actually sending me txt messages !!!! I am really sick and tired of these games. It has to stop now!!!

 

Although I do feel desparate, perhaps it is for the best we dont get back together I am worth a lot more, I have grown up a lot over the past 11 years we had been together and have changed for the better but he seems to still be the teenager i met.

 

I need to be strong, and focus on life and carry on being strong for myself and for the sake of my 3 lovely children.

[MadDog]

Then, last weekend, I saw him working in the garden, and there I found myself saying thats my man (I still find him attractive) and then that nite I saw him with his new girlfriend (18). It killed me. I knew about her, but to see her in his car with him well that was the end. I havnt stopped crying since, Im adamant now that I want him back !!!!

 

So it took you seeing that he's still desirable to other women (a young one no less) to realize that you want him back? What's up with that?

[Curmudgeon]

I'm sorry to hear that and even sorrier that "mom" has gotten into the act.

 

Let the games begin! Have you thought about changing your number and seeking legal representation?

 

By all means, take care of yourself and your children. Clearly, you're the only ones you can count on.

[chocolatebox06]

Yes I have changed my telephone number and got a lawyer. Things are progressing.

 

Its such a shame that he has now forgotten his children, he doesnt bother seeing them no more and doesnt give me any money for them.

 

What a man. No morals whatsoever. He is flauting his new g/f in front of me and now his kids.

 

I am a big believer in - what goes around comes around. I just hope he doesnt get another girl pregnant and does the same to her and his new child/ren but no doubt he will.