Agreed to cheat, then backed out - forgiveness?

[funkify]

My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 4 years and deeply love each other although it hasn't been an easy ride. We've been on and off for about 2 years for a number of reasons.

 

Since December, we've been broken up but still kept in contact. He's always begged to get back together and only two weeks ago I took him seriously and actually agreed to work things out. We actually said that from that day on we would committ ourselves 100% to making the relationship work by solving all our problems before we actually agreed to be together, and it would only b right not to get involved with anyone else during this time. We were practically dating again.

 

I saw a suspicious sms on his phone and he came clean that the day after we said all those things, he went to a club and agreed to back to a girls house for sex. But then he thought of me and backed out of it once he got to her house.

 

Naturally, I am furious at him. In my opinion he might've as well gone through with it because he DID agree to it, and the day AFTER we had made a solid committment to each other. He agreed to put everything into this relationship because we want to end up together.

 

He says he did it because he felt insecure about my committment to him (ie.I would break up with him again for a trivial reason).But I think that's absolute bull.

 

Any thoughts people? He wants forgiveness and is deeply sorry. Or shoot I boot him so hard he lands in Siberia?

What does something like this say about him?

[francis]

my ex said something like this to me

 

we had gone through a long stretch of constant stress and arguing, and me wanting to break up

 

we had finally patched things up

 

and i thought that all was well

 

he consequently went out on a night out with his friends

 

disregarded the fact i was staying with him at his place

 

and turned up at 5.30am

 

i was furious, because this was hours after we had finally sorted all our problems out

 

and all he could say was that he stayed out because he didnt actually believe that i honestly meant it when i said i wanted for us to stay together

 

to this day, i still cannot see logic in this

[tikigods]

I say its time you put all this drama behind you and find someone else

[catgirl1927]

Those guys are blaming you guys for their behavior. I would expect more of the same in the future if you stick around. Esp the meeting the girl for sex. There wouldn't even be any need for discussion if it was me.

[Mz. Pixie]

I think he's lying. You know he's a liar because he talked to the person in the first place behind your back. He's telling you he backed out because he wants to minimize the damage. Come on, don't be naive.

 

How many guys do you know that go to a woman's house with the intention of having sex and they back out?? When it's right there in their face?? There might be few that would do this, but the probability is highly unlikely.

 

You've spent too much time trying to make this work with this guy. He said you guys would start over and the very next day was out pulling this crap??