J dub Posted April 6, 2006 Share Posted April 6, 2006 Ugh...ok I am stuck and dont know what to do here. I have this pretty hefty crush on a guy at work and never planned to act on it only because I know how bad office relationships can be. .esp in a place like mine where theres only about 100 employees. Well today the receptionist asks me if I am involved withanyone because smeone at work has a crush on me. I am thinking surely its gotta be the guy I have a thing for because ofall the flirting that goes on between us. Come to find out? Its a (cute) guy who I thought HATED! me! He really doesnt talk to me at all..avoids me pretty much. I did NOT expect this at all.. Anyway I dont know what to do...I Really like this other fella but it probably wont work out, and this new guy seems nice enough but then I'm afraid any chance I DID have with the crush might get blown to shreds. What would you do if you were me? Link to post Share on other sites
Angelina1433 Posted April 6, 2006 Share Posted April 6, 2006 Dating at work can be sticky...But, if you are smart about it and both mature, then it can work out (mine did). Whatever you do, pick ONE that you like and date him and him only. If you start dating around, especially in a small company, it can look bad. Also, check your HR policies to make sure that you are not crossing any lines before going any further. You don't want to get fired over a couple of dinners. Link to post Share on other sites
7on Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 I would talk to the guy who is "rumored" to like you. Bring it up. Some guys' natural response to liking a girl is giving her s***. I know because I do the same thing. What happens (at least with me) is that I personally don't go out with someone until I've known them for a while. And a defense I unconsciously use is countering all these "love" feelings I have for a crush with negative joking. I only decide to pursue something like a date if the other person seems to be liking me so far. More or less I'd be treating the girl like one of my male buddies so to speak. Anyway, if you didn't like this guy who "hates you" then you wouldn't be at a standoff. Just don't settle, always go for the gold Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 Dating people at the office is an unwise move. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 ::::sigh:::: Here we go again! Don't fish in the company pond! Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 ::::sigh:::: Here we go again! Don't fish in the company pond! I don't have the best memory in the world but didn't I remember you saying that you met your wife at work? Many married people DO meet at work and I'm not sure why you are "sighing" over this. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 EDIT: Never mind. Made a mistake. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 EDIT: Never mind. Made a mistake. I saw what you wrote before you edited. Yes, you DID make a mistake. What was your point? I meant many people who marry meet at work. And yes, some of them are happily married TO EACH OTHER. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 I didn't have one. No doubt many people do. Many people also spoil their workplace, get gossiped about, and have to face an ex every day or quit. I've done it. Office romances are risky. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 I didn't have one. No doubt many people do. Many people also spoil their workplace, get gossiped about, and have to face an ex every day or quit. I've done it. Office romances are risky. ALL romances are risky...in one way or another. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 So what is your advice for J dub? Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 So what is your advice for J dub? I thought it was obvious. The very opposite of your advice to her...go for BOTH! Going for one will not exclude the other. It will only make the other one be MORE interested. Yup, that's the way it works. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 I didn't ask her out until a year after she'd promoted and left the agency we both worked for. If I had, she would have refused for the same reason I didn't. Work place romances can be very troublesome. We were friends and that's all. We never met after work, never ate lunch together, nothing. We simply talked occasionally on breaks and that was it. Even then, when we did finally get together, rumors were flying around the agency that we must have had something going on between us all the time and were just very hush-hush about it. Link to post Share on other sites
MadDog Posted April 7, 2006 Share Posted April 7, 2006 I thought it was obvious. The very opposite of your advice to her...go for BOTH! Going for one will not exclude the other. It will only make the other one be MORE interested. Yup' date=' that's the way it works.[/quote'] I'd go with this advice too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author J dub Posted April 9, 2006 Author Share Posted April 9, 2006 I thought it was obvious. The very opposite of your advice to her...go for BOTH! Going for one will not exclude the other. It will only make the other one be MORE interested. Yup' date=' that's the way it works.[/quote'] WoW seriously?? I was thinkin if I zeroed in on one, the other would be like...forget it. At least thats what I would do if the situation were reversed and the one I liked started dating someone else. I pretty much made up my mind at this point to just get to know them, but not in a dating type of way (for now). Thats very interesting that you said going for one wont exclude the other -- although I like hearing that! Edited to add: My boss met his wife at work, the receptionist met her husband-to-be, and I know of two other marriages in the facility that were introduced at work. I know it happens all the time and theres downfalls to any sort of relationship regardless of where you meet...I guess I just need to be very aware of my surroundings and what I am getting myself in to. Esp cuz I just got out of a LTR not so long ago...which brings me to my next challenge, deciding whether or not I am seeking out a rebound or a real-deal? Link to post Share on other sites
starlight2025 Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 I'm a guy and I had a crush on a lady at my workplace for awhile. I would avoid her and not talk to her. I even ran away when she called my name once signaling me to come to her. I still don't talk to her to this day. I pretend like she doesn't exist. So it turns out I'm not the only guy who deals with his crushes that way. Link to post Share on other sites
MadDog Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 I guess I just need to be very aware of my surroundings and what I am getting myself in to. Esp cuz I just got out of a LTR not so long ago...which brings me to my next challenge, deciding whether or not I am seeking out a rebound or a real-deal? If you don't miss your ex anymore, you're ready for the real deal. It's that simple. Link to post Share on other sites
pippen_2k Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 Its 0k J Dub.. whatever you choose to do us men will never understand anywayz lol Dont dwellve too deep into thought over this Link to post Share on other sites
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