is it a stereotype or not?

[yes]

you know how usually they say relationships should go ...

 

guy notice girl, guy court girl, girl play games, not give in, guy keep courting, yada yada ... it's usually the guy leading the game, and the girl controlling the distance between them, right?

 

well - is that how it really happens?

 

if i take the lead in a reln-ship, is that going to scare the guy away? u know, if i initiate contact, etc? that doesn't mean smothering him or anything - but basically going against the traditional 'guys do the calling' thing ... would a guy enjoy that? ... this isn't a serious reln-ship, most likely, and i am sort of ready to pursue it, but he seems sort of distant ... should i take the initiative? just for a while? or just forget it & let him make the moves? I'm not sure why he is keeping his distance, and i sort of feel like by taking initiative i will find out sooner - etiehr he'll respond & it'll work out, or he'll create even more distance & then i'll know to move on ...

 

Any comments?

 

Thanks ...

[Paulie]

Of course, this depends on the guy...but I love it when a girl makes the first move...makes it easier for us. The only problem is that you need to simultaneously flirt with him, while also showing him that you've got integrity...you're not "all over his s#*t"

 

Some guys will get the wrong impression when a girl hits on them first, and think that she'll be easy. But having made that point, I think you should definitely go for it...I find it very attractive at times.

[midori]

I think it depends on what you're comfortable with. It sounds to me like you're accustomed to being courted by guys. Taking the initiative is great, it does however carry the risk of rejection. If this is something you'd like to pursue, why not give it a try? What's the worst that could happen, especially if, as you say, this isn't a serious thing?

 

I will say though (if you're trying to do an assessment of the risk involved) that if the guy in question has been blowing hot and cold (you mention that he seems to maintain distance between you) then you might be in for disappointment with him sooner or later. Guys who know what they want usually act on it. Guys who don't know what they want can be a major headache (not to mention heartache). As you say, you'll find out soon enough -- if he's just shy then he should respond right away to an overture from you. But if you get the sense that he's playing games with you, don't waste any more of your time.