Would Someone Explain Men to Me?

[Dixiebelle]

I have had a big crush on my son's special education teacher since September. I see this guy in the mornings when I drop my son off - usually no more than a wave and once in a while in the office when I pick my son up. He's a single, 41, and one heck of a nice guy. Plus he likes my kid which sometimes isn't the easiest thing in the world (autistic and mildly retarded with a real smart mouth at times).

 

This teacher also does swimming lessons after school as a side job for the local pool. At the end of the first session I gave both him and the head of the program visa gift cards along with a funny thank you cards and a note about how much I appreciated what they did.

 

The head of the program said thanks you shouldn't have. The teacher who had just been kidding me about my bare feet took the card and gave me a funny look. When I got home, I emailed him and said I was concerned that he might have been upset or whatever it is that people get when you give them anything. I again thanked him for what he had done and said I just wanted him to have something unexpected for all the unexpected things he did for others.

 

He never answered the email. I really didn't expect him to but on Monday morning I didn't get that wave at the car, nor Tuesday - Friday. Won't even look in my direction.

 

The head of the program knew I had a crush on the teacher and may have mentioned it. I'm thinking, that he's thinking, uh-oh - got the money, she has a crush. Can't speak to her anymore. I have never been good enough for this guy and know it and in my heart of hearts kinda hoped that he went someplace nice with his girlfriend (which he may or may not have). How do I act towards him now? Do I speak, say hi keep moving what. It's so humiliating which is kinda good because the crush is on. Nothing like a little humiliation.

 

Men - comments please? Suggestions on how to handle this? Tried crawling under a rock, comtemplated suicide - tried to get the earth to swallow me whole. Nothing's working.

[whichwayisup]

He isn't feeling what you feel so the best thing to do is to say nothing. Just go on like normal. Or try to.

 

Don't send him anymore emails/thank you notes etc., either.

 

Hopefully he is mature enough to handle this professionally.

 

Try not to feel so embarressed! And yes, I'm sure this has put things in perspective for you and ruined that crush.

[Tim'sAngel]

Tried crawling under a rock, comtemplated suicide - tried to get the earth to swallow me whole. Nothing's working.

 

:lmao:

 

It ain't that bad. I've been humiliated before, it goes away. I know that before I met S/O, whenever a man would give my son attention, I would melt, must be a single mother thing... Just go on like nothing happened, don't act upset of embarressed, just act normal, things will end up going back to normal.

[Outcast]

Never assume you are correct when interpreting others' looks, 'funny' or not. He could have had gas. He could have had a bizarre thought just then. You could have given him something just like someone he hates gave him - and then you really goofed by emailing him about the 'funny look'. You'd freak the heck out of me if you assumed you knew what I was thinking and then sent me email about it, I'd be avoiding you myself.

 

Before you do things, put yourself in the other person's place and ask how you'd feel if someone else did to you what you're about to do to someone. That'll stop you from doing a whole bunch of oddball things.

[Craig]

Maybe he has a secret girlfriend, is gay, wants to be single right now or wants to avoid that kind of a relationship in the current environment.

[Curmudgeon]

Hmmmm! And here I thought that women didn't understand men and men aren't in touch with their feelings to understand themselves, much less other men.

 

Seriously, though, just act natural, continue to be approachable but "professional" and don't mention the appreciation gift. Let the "relationship" normalize. After all, it is about your son, most of all.