Do I Have to Physically Move On?

[Guest]

I engaged in a sex buddy relationship with a co-worker. I know, bad move. He has a child with someone else who he's not in love with, but he is probably going to try to make the relationship work because he doesn't want another man raising his son. Anyway, I never loved this man but I developed some feelings. We work in a very close knit company. I found out he dated another co-worker years earlier (before I came to the job) and everyone in the company knew, but everyone also knew he didn't have sex with her (they dated for 2 months). Anyway, our "relationship" has been kept secret, although some may suspect, but he definitely isn't telling anybody.

 

I already planned on moving to another company to get over the hurt feelings/anger with myself, etc. He keeps asking me why I'm leaving and won't I miss this and that about the job. It's like he doesn't want me to go, but it's not like we're having sex on the job. I'll still live not too far from him and we can still hook up (if I decided I wanted to continue). We speak at work, but usually in certain locations. We have similar friends but there are times when we are in different circles and it's then that his conversation with me is limited. He says I get more than anybody else there though, because of our sexual relationship, but it's just not the way I like to do things. I'm human and I messed up.

 

Anyway, there's a new guy at work and he started talking to me. He says he has a "friend" who he goes out with and has sex with sometimes, but he doesn't have a girlfriend. He says he doesn't mind going out with me (the other guy and I never go out), but I know eventually he wants sex. The first guy seemed a little jealous when he saw me and the other guy talking, but he couldn't say anything 'cause I owe him nothing and he doesn't want anybody to know what's going on.

 

Question, do you think I need to physically go work somewhere else or can I mentally go on (find a real man somewhere else) and continue to work here? I'll have a break from the job in the summer, so I don't have to see either one of them till the fall if I chose so.

[konfuzd]

No, you absolutely don't have to change jobs, unless your only reason for being there is to hook up. Go to work, do your job, forget about these 2 guys as more than co-workers and find a social life in your spare time.