John Posted September 26, 2001 Share Posted September 26, 2001 I've being with a girl for three months now. Everything is good for the exception that her past relationship with some guy is beginning to bug me. Why? Because she started telling me two weeks ago that she "was skeptical", "scared", and "in doubt" of our relationship. I'm guessing is because she told me that she fears that I will get bored of her and just leave. Saying stuff like you're still young and will like to go on your own. I think she's insecure about something. Maybe getting hurt. I'm 22 and she's 24 and sometimes she makes me feel like age is a big thing to her. Even though to me it's not. But the age thing is nothing of concern to me. She says that she cares for me alot and would never do anything to hurt me. But the truth is, that I was hurt when she told me this. It's sort of like she's trying to pull me away from her. But I know she cares for me by everything she does for me. Any advice ladies and gents would be greatly appreciated. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted September 26, 2001 Share Posted September 26, 2001 Telling us you're hurt by these remarks will be of no help to your relationship. You were hurt by her and you need to tell her that. Let her know how disturbing her comments are. She's quite old enough to know that no matter who she's in a relationship with, no matter what age, etc., there are always risks. We don't marry every person we date. I don't think this lady is nearly as mature as you think she is. This type of irrational fear has not been well thought out by her. Though assurances don't mean much, after you have let her know you are hurt by the way she brings up this subject, let her also know you will do all you can to keep up your end of the relationship so it will thrive. By her making these remarks, she is not keeping up her end. By the way, I'm sure I don't need to tell you not to tell her she's immature or irrational. That's just my assessment to be kept between the two of us. Link to post Share on other sites
John Posted September 26, 2001 Share Posted September 26, 2001 I talked to last night and she said she doesn't want to hurt me but she just said what she was feeling. And Tony I can understand that. This morning, she told me that she was sorry and didn't mean for me to get upset. But I wasn't upset. I was hurt. But yea I will follow your advice. Thanks tony Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted September 26, 2001 Share Posted September 26, 2001 Since you have already told her that her remarks hurt you, just drop the matter. If she keeps bringing up the subject, drop her. You don't need someone in your life who is going to be continuously saying hurtful things. Link to post Share on other sites
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