Guest Posted April 8, 2006 Share Posted April 8, 2006 my girlfriend of 7 months broke up with me 3 weeks ago and I haven't been able to live with it. our relationship had been teetering a little bit and i was leaving for a week to go to florida, and i told her that when i came back that we would start over and have a "new beginning". before i even got back home, she had already TEXTED me and told me that she wanted to break up with me. I was distraught and couldn't believe it. And for the next 2 weeks, I called her up every night and asked her how she could do this and I told her that our "new beginning" meant that I had changed and that the same things wouldn't happen again. She didn't want to talk about it at all and I think that everytime i called, it drove her even farther away from me. I didn't know what to do. And she has this new guy, but they aren't going out yet, but next weekend me and her are goin to hang out and I'm just wondering if I should talk to her about a possible us in the future...or...what should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Ukwizard Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 Hi Guest Unfortunately there is nothing in your post to indicate WHY you desevre a second chance. Your post is far too vague, and only shows the basics of what happened. Do you have anymore information you can share with us LShackers? No one breaks up for no reason. There is always something that causes a break up. You mention a `new beginning`. Why? Does this indicate you had relationship troubles? The question here isn`t `do i deserve a second chance`. Maybe it shoul be....do I want a second chance? I mean EVERY one deserves a second chnace, but this depends on the relationship. If it was volatile then there is no chance. By the sound of your brief story. You sound like you are in the same situation as me. My last ex dumped me after 7 months too.(execpt my ex dumped me by email. I m sorry but to be dumped by text has to be the lowest of the low!) I guess she didn`t give us enough time to get into a happy relationship equilibruim. She moved too fast and wanted everything, while I moved a little slower. If you want to get her back I d stop calling her every night. This shows that you are desparate, and it may even drive her closer to her new guy. (depends on the individual too. If you read my post. My ex drove the other guy away!) You have to talk to her on a one to one basis in a comfortable area without distractions. Don`t beg or plead as this will boost her ego, and may even enforce her decision to leave. If she has a new guy, then it looks like her feelings have been diverted already. My ex girlfriend is seeing her ex. A man she met before me. I was the 3rd! Now how mad is that! Its funny how she dated this first guy. Had an argument, and dumped him. Dated another guy and me, and went back to the first. It really depends how YOU handle the situation. If you do NO CONTACT which is worshipped by a poster called Caliguy, then doing NC is your decison, but that may bring in the formula of NC = out of life + out of sight And this may even help her walk away as you are no longer there. Reconcillation can happen. Humans are socailly interactive. I m not the type of person to play games. If you really love her then talk to her in a civilised way, and that you want to make things work. No pining for her. I m on friendly terms with my ex and we still chat and text each other. Who knows in the future she may even come back. Good luck to you, and dont think for an instant you will get her back straight way. In my situation my ex girlfriend went back to the first guy, and he had to wait a year! I M NOT ASKING YOU TO DO THAT. BE AVAILABLE AND ON THE LOOK OUT FOR A NEW PARTNER AND BE BUSY TO TAKE YOUR MIND OFF HER. Link to post Share on other sites
blue636 Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 When it comes to relationships, you can't be demanding by asking if you deserve anything. In reality, no one deserves anything (unless there's a marriage and there are children or money involved). It seems crumby that she did it by text-messaging, but maybe that was the easiest way for her. On a side note, in Thailand or Malaysia (I can't forget which of the two), a man may legally divorce his wife via text-messaging! I'll have to confirm this later. Anyway, back to your woes. The best thing for you to do right now is to leave her alone. It seems that this no contact rule is a good one. You don't talk to her, you ignore her communication attempts, and you don't pry in on her life. Act as if she doesn't exist for a few weeks. You said it yourself, calling her excessively may be pushing her away. Besides, it sounds like she already had her mind made up and used your absence to her advantage (not having to confront you in person). Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
bigdogg1811 Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 Hey guys...I apologize for not giving a more detailed analysis of my relationship with her. I wanted to start over and have a "new beginning" because things were coming apart. It all started when we first had sex, and she was very worried about it and was very stressed out about it. She didn't like it and she has regretted it everyday since. She has forgiven me now, but she said that still lives with her. Umm...we also just had a lot of other little problems that just kept getting bigger and bigger because we both failed to communicate with eachother, and talk about the problems. And when we finally did realize them and she talked to me about them, it was too late, and she mentioned it on the phone after we had broken up. But next weekend will be the first time in a month that we have even hung out since the breakup, but we still see eachother at school everyday. I'm 16 and she's 16, going to the same school, and it's just really hard seeing her everyday and not saying much to her like I used to. What should I say or do with her next weekend...because I don't want to seem like I'm desperate to get her back, because she already likes this other guy now...but on the other hand, I do want her back. Very much. Link to post Share on other sites
bigdogg1811 Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 OK guys...I apologize for not giving a more detailed response. My girlfriend had problems with us having sex, because it would stress her out very much and she didn't like that. We only had sex twice, before she ended up breaking up with me. I think that stress was the #1 reason why. But we also had a number of problems, that we never talked about, and that kept getting bigger and bigger. Then they exploded and that's why we broke up. Link to post Share on other sites
bigdogg1811 Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 hey guys i need your advice here again... i'm in the same situation right now with her and we have been a lot more comfortable around eachother and are starting to miss eachother now again. she still has another guy, again they aren't going out yet. thank you again caliguy for the NC, that helped a lot! should i talk to her about a possible reconciliation or should i keep up the NC and see if she comes back on her own? Link to post Share on other sites
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