he thinks i'm trying to catch him in a lie

[annie]

just because i ask him more then once about something he thinks i'm trying to catch him in a lie. this is not true at all and i am deeply hurt by this accusation, how do i handle this?

[Paulie]

1. Why do you ask him more than once about thhe same thing...unless you are trying to catch him in a lie?

 

Sounds reasonable to me.

 

2. Stop asking more than once unless you ARE trying to catch him in a lie.

 

The fact that you even bother to ask somebody the same question more than once implies that you feel they might give a different answer the second time, unless you wouldn't ask it again. So, in a way, you ARE trying to catch him in a lie, even though you might not realize it...get it?

 

Sounds to me like you feel like you don't have the degree of trust in the relationship that you might have been hoping for?

[Tony T]

Could you please answer that one more time???

[Paulie]

It's just something that frustrates me about people...when they continually ask me the same thing over and over again...especially when I continually give them the same answer.

 

I once had this girlfriend that literally every day would ask me if I thought she was fat. After about 15 times answering her no (and meaning no), I just started to say yes, just to p!ss her off. lol

[Lauren]

This is a brief post to try to answer. I sometimes ask a lot of questions, that is the way I learn and, to me, indicates that I truly want to understand. A simple yes/no question I don't believe needs to be repeated. If you asked him to have dinner and he said yes. Then you asked him if he would have dinner this week Thursday or Friday. I don't see a problem. Or if you ask him a question and you don't completely understand his answer and maybe phrase it a little differently to get that understanding, then I don't see a problem. In a delicate way you need to understand why he reacts this way to your questions. It sounds like a fear of his - maybe a previous relationship or somewhere in the past someone constantly grilled him - showing no trust whatsoever. just because i ask him more then once about something he thinks i'm trying to catch him in a lie. this is not true at all and i am deeply hurt by this accusation, how do i handle this?

[Tony T]

Could you tell me just one thing that frustrates you about people?

[annie]

i'm sorry did i forget to mention that the only reason i have to ask him more then once is because my memeory is shot. i am not as young as i use to be and he is younger then me so maybe his memeory works better then mine because of age differences. however, honestly, i am not trying to catch him in any lies, i never even think about that, that is why this is hurtful to be acussed of this when it is so far from the truth. sorry for not explaning my self better, i hope this helps you to understand my sitation better.

1. Why do you ask him more than once about thhe same thing...unless you are trying to catch him in a lie? Sounds reasonable to me. 2. Stop asking more than once unless you ARE trying to catch him in a lie. The fact that you even bother to ask somebody the same question more than once implies that you feel they might give a different answer the second time, unless you wouldn't ask it again. So, in a way, you ARE trying to catch him in a lie, even though you might not realize it...get it? Sounds to me like you feel like you don't have the degree of trust in the relationship that you might have been hoping for?

[Tony T]

Your problem has nothing to do with repeating your questions. It has to do with the absense of communication and understanding in your relationship.

 

If you have explained the reasons for your repetitiousness to your boyfriend as you set them forth above and he still gets upset, he's not worth having.

 

I also recommend you start taking notes and perhaps a memory course. Age does not have to affect memory. See a neurologist and find out if there are other compelling reasons...other than age...why your memory is poor. Could be anxiety or the onset of more serious problems. Could even be your hearing.