Why are men accused of being commitmentphobes when

[Citizen Erased]

Or wishes she'd stopped putting out sooner!

 

C!

[thegoodhubbie]

Even if I had listened and paid heed I'd have become a droid answerable only to the will of the Supreme High Mistress .

There's just no pleasing a narcissist without losing yourself in the process.

 

OMG, you must be talking about my wife! Sometimes that woman will just not let me be. It is like pulling teeth just to get some time for myself at night. God forbid I stay up past 10 oclock and don't come right to be when she wants. Forces me to surf the web at work

[alphamale]

If a woman's emotional needs aren't met she's more likely to be unhappy no matter what the sex is doing. Often a guy won't notice there's a problem until suddenly she isn't putting out.

and why is that MAGDA? its because women are bad communicators to begin with. they are indirect and beat around the bush. they want men to intuitively know all their needs, wants and desires without expressing them themselves. its rediculous!

[Kenyth]

That was pretty much my experience. I will say, however, even if I had listened and paid heed I'd have become a droid answerable only to the will of the Supreme High Mistress which, not even in my most compliant moments, would I have tolerated.

 

There's just no pleasing a narcissist without losing yourself in the process.

 

 

There ya go! Listening and changing something about yourself because of it are two very different things. You DON'T marry someone because you are going to work on them and get them to change. You ACCEPT them as they are and live with it. You can expect the small behavioral and value changes that go along with marriage and children, but that's it! How many women I know complain about how they can't get their men to change into their vision of them. It's maddening, infuriating, and immature. Totally unrealistic expectations. THAT'S a problem women tend to have, just like porn is a problem men tend to have.

[hotgurl]

and why is that MAGDA? its because women are bad communicators to begin with. they are indirect and beat around the bush. they want men to intuitively know all their needs, wants and desires without expressing them themselves. its rediculous!

 

that's not always the case I have told my BF point blank my issues and he nods agrees with me and says he'll work on it does he no!

 

some men are just lazy!

[a4a]

that's not always the case I have told my BF point blank my issues and he nods agrees with me and says he'll work on it does he no!

 

some men are just lazy!

 

 

Hey now, you are being a bit too hard on him........

 

He meant to work on it, but he just forgot

[magda]

and why is that MAGDA? its because women are bad communicators to begin with. they are indirect and beat around the bush. they want men to intuitively know all their needs, wants and desires without expressing them themselves. its rediculous!

It's true, some are. There's also that passive aggressive trait and "I shouldn't have to tell him he should just know" aspect to consider. Doesn't make communication any less important to women.

[Kenyth]

Hey now, you are being a bit too hard on him........

 

He meant to work on it, but he just forgot

 

 

You are absolutely right. If he did not want to change those things, he should have learned and used the word "NO". Too many men (myself included) forgot this very handy word when it comes to effectively communicating. If you can't say no, you'll find yourself in over your head quickly. Don't lie and pretend and fail, simply be honest from the start. You won't be loved for it, but you will be happier for it.

[a4a]

You are absolutely right. If he did not want to change those things, he should have learned and used the word "NO". Too many men (myself included) forgot this very handy word when it comes to effectively communicating. If you can't say no, you'll find yourself in over your head quickly. Don't lie and pretend and fail, simply be honest from the start. You won't be loved for it, but you will be happier for it.

 

So true unless you are just trying to get laid...... then promise away!!!

 

Hell works for me

[Kenyth]

So true unless you are just trying to get laid...... then promise away!!!

 

Hell works for me

 

 

 

 

Maybe that's where men learn the particular behavior to begin with?

 

Reinforce it with the reward of sex and you've got a hard habit to break baby!

[hotgurl]

all I wanted was sex 3x a week. You'd think he'd be thrilled

[a4a]

all I wanted was sex 3x a week. You'd think he'd be thrilled

 

 

Like I said, he meant to.........he just forgot.

 

#1 male excuse...... can be used for anything!!

[hotgurl]

Like I said, he meant to.........he just forgot.

 

#1 male excuse...... can be used for anything!!

 

I can see it now ummm honey I forgot to have sex because I was too busy looking at porn!

 

it's true I forgot seems to be used a lot.

[Kenyth]

all I wanted was sex 3x a week. You'd think he'd be thrilled

 

 

Hell! I know I'd be! Three times a month would be an improvement at this point!

 

 

 

 

In answer to your signature:

 

Me! Me! Me! Me!

[Annacabana]

The Walk Away Wife Syndrome

 

 

Did you know that of the over one million marriages that will end in divorce this year, two thirds to three quarters of those divorces will be filed for by women? What is this so-called, "Walkaway Wife" syndrome all about?

 

In the early years of marriage, women are the relationship caretakers. They carefully monitor their relationships to make sure there is enough closeness and connection. If not, women will do what they can to try to fix things. If their husbands aren't responsive, women become extremely unhappy and start complaining about everything under the sun...things that need to get done around the house, responsibilities pertaining to the children, how free time is spent and so on. Unfortunately, when women complain, men generally retreat and the marriage deteriorates even more.

 

After years of trying unsuccessfully to improve things, a woman eventually surrenders and convinces herself that change isn't possible. She ends up believing there's absolutely nothing she can do because everything she's tried hasn't worked. That's when she begins to carefully map out the logistics of what she considers to be the inevitable, getting a divorce.

 

While she's planning her escape, she no longer tries to improve her relationship or modify her partner's behavior in any way. She resigns herself to living in silent desperation until "D Day." Unfortunately, her husband views his wife's silence as an indication that "everything is fine." After all, the "nagging" has ceased. That's why, when she finally breaks the news of the impending divorce, her shell-shocked partner replies, "I had no idea you were unhappy."

 

Then, even when her husband undergoes real and lasting changes, it's often too late. The same impenetrable wall that for years shielded her from pain, now prevents her from truly recognizing his genuine willingness to change. The relationship is in the danger zone

[Blind Illusion]

The Walk Away Wife Syndrome

 

 

Did you know that of the over one million marriages that will end in divorce this year, two thirds to three quarters of those divorces will be filed for by women? What is this so-called, "Walkaway Wife" syndrome all about?

 

In the early years of marriage, women are the relationship caretakers. They carefully monitor their relationships to make sure there is enough closeness and connection. If not, women will do what they can to try to fix things. If their husbands aren't responsive, women become extremely unhappy and start complaining about everything under the sun...things that need to get done around the house, responsibilities pertaining to the children, how free time is spent and so on. Unfortunately, when women complain, men generally retreat and the marriage deteriorates even more.

 

After years of trying unsuccessfully to improve things, a woman eventually surrenders and convinces herself that change isn't possible. She ends up believing there's absolutely nothing she can do because everything she's tried hasn't worked. That's when she begins to carefully map out the logistics of what she considers to be the inevitable, getting a divorce.

 

While she's planning her escape, she no longer tries to improve her relationship or modify her partner's behavior in any way. She resigns herself to living in silent desperation until "D Day." Unfortunately, her husband views his wife's silence as an indication that "everything is fine." After all, the "nagging" has ceased. That's why, when she finally breaks the news of the impending divorce, her shell-shocked partner replies, "I had no idea you were unhappy."

 

Then, even when her husband undergoes real and lasting changes, it's often too late. The same impenetrable wall that for years shielded her from pain, now prevents her from truly recognizing his genuine willingness to change. The relationship is in the danger zone

 

 

Wow,,,this is great and so on the money, it's uncanny. For me anyhow.

[Woggle]

Another problem is women overanalyze things too much. They put everything under a microscope and look for problems when there really are none. They also expect men to be mindreaders. Just tell us straight what is wrong. This is what I like about black women. They will tell you exactly how they feel. I would much rather deal with harsh bluntness than silent treatmentIf I weren't engaged to a great italian woman I would probably look for a black woman. My fiance thinks like a guy though. I swear she is a man with a vagina which is fine with me.

[johan]

Another problem is women overanalyze things too much. They put everything under a microscope and look for problems when there really are none.

 

Look who's talking.

 

They also expect men to be mindreaders. Just tell us straight what is wrong. This is what I like about black women. They will tell you exactly how they feel. I would much rather deal with harsh bluntness than silent treatmentIf I weren't engaged to a great italian woman I would probably look for a black woman. My fiance thinks like a guy though. I swear she is a man with a vagina which is fine with me.

 

You make her sound so attractive. For the record, in case there are any more of those mutants here reading this: the last thing I want hanging around is a man with a vagina. I'll take a regular, emotional, feminine woman. I go for exactly the type that Woggle can't stand.

[Outcast]

I'm willing to be that if there was a female poster continually posting 'men are shxt because of X' posts to the encouraging chorus of several other female posters, they'd all be banned.

[Kenyth]

I reiterate a previously made point. Why do some women get married with the intention of trying to make radical changes in the guy they're with? It's a setup for failure. The fact that you can't find someone with the traits you're looking for in the first place ought to be a sign that you need to re-evaluate your expectations.

[blind_otter]

I reiterate a previously made point. Why do some women get married with the intention of trying to make radical changes in the guy they're with? It's a setup for failure. The fact that you can't find someone with the traits you're looking for in the first place ought to be a sign that you need to re-evaluate your expectations.

 

Well, Why do some men get married with the intention of trying to make radical changes in the chick they're with? It's a setup for failure. The fact that you can't find someone with the traits you're looking for in the first place ought to be a sign that you need to re-evaluate your expectations.

 

gimme a break man. As the recipient of said impulses to change someone, I resent my ex. And my current BF. Let me live, man.

[alphamale]

Well, Why do some men get married with the intention of trying to make radical changes in the chick they're with?

i personally don't know of any dude who married a chick with the intention of making radical changes in her. we pretty much accept them as is.

[catgirl1927]

Sigh.

 

Women are so sucky! whaaaa!

 

You know, there are tons of nice guys out there. You don't have to have anything to do with us at all.

[SmoochieFace]

I reiterate a previously made point. Why do some women get married with the intention of trying to make radical changes in the guy they're with? It's a setup for failure. The fact that you can't find someone with the traits you're looking for in the first place ought to be a sign that you need to re-evaluate your expectations.

 

Yes indeedy.

 

Some women never outgrow the *my guy is a project* stage. Pathetic.

 

Ya know... it's quite simple and to the point: you will NEVER succeed at changing ANYONE but YOURSELF. I think that should be inkjetted on every female right after she pops out of the womb.

[johan]

I understand this is not on the original topic.

 

I think a good woman improves a man. I think the average guy benefits from that. Whether it's a change in who he is or just how he lives can be debated. Whether he likes every bit of it or not? I'm sure not. But it's still better to have her.

 

People here talk like the woman man thing is antagonistic. Maybe it is for you, but my relationships don't go like that. Even though they've all failed, it wasn't for that reason.