Woggle Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 Women are the ones that file 75% of divorces. Yeah it may be harder to get men to the alter but the truth is that we are afraod of divorce not marriage. For all their lecturing about commitment women are the ones that walk out when things are less than 100% perfect and most of the time men don't know what hit them. It happened to my friend. He thought he had agreat marriage and one day his wife says she wants a divorce. It wasn't because he cheated or abused her. He didn't even drink or blow money. She just needed to find herself. Also we know how divorce courts favor women. Link to post Share on other sites
AManWithTroubles Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 Amen. Even though my wife and I are working it out now and seem to be doing fine... My wife dropped a bomb on me. "I'm not in love with you anymore... I want a separation, and no, counseling is not going to help." Those were my expressions. I just got a card about a week ago on Valentine's day that said I love you on it 3 times in a row. How quickly they change their minds. Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 The courts most definitely favor the women. Women are not *always* the better parent. That shouldn't be assumed. If a man fights for custody of the kids, he is made out to be some kind of monster who is tearing the children away from their mother or putting them through a bitter custody battle. The *only* way a father will get the kids is if the mother decides to. It's next to impossible in court to prove a mother unfit, even though she is very much so! I agree with you, Woggle, I feel divorce courts are very biased. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 This is starting to be like a comedy bit. I'm sorry you feel that way Woggle. Luckily the panoply of human emotions and relationship struggles are not as clear cut as your statistical data may show. But I understand why you feel this way. I just had to subscribe to another one of your classic "Men do this_________, but women are all _________." threads. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 I think men have a tendency to become complascent and settle-in to a relationship which is why they aren't usually the ones to take the first steps towards a divorce. I know that certainly typifies my past experience. It has less to do with commitment and more to do with comfort, even if the latter isn't all that. Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 Woggle seems to have a problem with women. Is it just me or is anyone else picking up on that? Probably just me misinterpreting things again... Link to post Share on other sites
bab Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 Woggle seems to have a problem with women. Is it just me or is anyone else picking up on that? Probably just me misinterpreting things again... Ya think?? Come on Woggle. Stop making generalizations. Not all men are committmentphobes and not all women leave their marriages. Link to post Share on other sites
Lennox Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 Careful, lovetoto...you will have your posts severely altered and told you are engaging in personal attacks with statements such as that! How dare you write the truth! On the flip side, however...divorce comes as a surprise to men because they don't LISTEN to women when we try to resolve problems with them. You don't know how many times I warned my ex husband about things that were destroying our marriage, even providing proof, and he ignored it. The day I told him I was moving out and getting a divorce after enduring several years of a completely miserable marriage came as a total shock to him. He just couldn't understand WHY. I pointed out why and wished him luck and also told him to treat his next wife more kindly and listen to her. Just as a disclaimer, not all marriages end because of the scenario, but it's been my experience that the people I know that have gotten divorced fall under this scenario. There comes a time when we women get fed up and hate whatever has come in between our marriages more than we love our husbands. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 That was pretty much my experience. I will say, however, even if I had listened and paid heed I'd have become a droid answerable only to the will of the Supreme High Mistress which, not even in my most compliant moments, would I have tolerated. There's just no pleasing a narcissist without losing yourself in the process. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted April 9, 2006 Author Share Posted April 9, 2006 That was pretty much my experience. I will say, however, even if I had listened and paid heed I'd have become a droid answerable only to the will of the Supreme High Mistress which, not even in my most compliant moments, would I have tolerated. There's just no pleasing a narcissist without losing yourself in the process. Rxactly. I am who I am and if a woman can't accept that she can move on. I will not give up who I am just to please somebody and besides when a man molds himself into what she wants and becomes her doormat she loses respect for him. Another thing. If i didn't vent on here I would be taking my gender issues out on my fiance and I don't want to do that. Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 Careful, lovetoto...you will have your posts severely altered and told you are engaging in personal attacks with statements such as that! How dare you write the truth! I did feel like a bit of a traitor when I made that statement. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 Stop making generalizations. Might as well tell the sun to stop rising. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 Rxactly. I am who I am and if a woman can't accept that she can move on. I will not give up who I am just to please somebody and besides when a man molds himself into what she wants and becomes her doormat she loses respect for him. Another thing. If i didn't vent on here I would be taking my gender issues out on my fiance and I don't want to do that. I respect you for that Woggle. It wouldn't be cool to tell her these type of things...But, with that being said, I DO hope that you see the other side of things? Maybe hearing other people's thoughts will lessen your views abit? Soften them, I mean? What if a woman feels exactly as you do? And what I mean by that, (I assume this is a narcississtic trait) if she said, "I am who I am, and if a man can't accept that, he can move on. I won't give up who I am just to please somebody...." etc... What if your lady was to say that to you? Even though you love her so much, would you put up with that attitude? Or would there be some sort of compromise? I ask this just because I'm genuinally curious. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 ...it is true that 75% to 80% of all types of relationships are ended by women. Be it marriage, dating, FWB, etc.... women also indirectly start most of these relationships because, as we all know, its the woman who chooses the man she wants... thats all I have to say on the subject. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 In my case I let her go. I tried, for awhile, to preserve a 25 year marriage but finally realized that there really wasn't much there I wanted to hang on to. Life has been ever so much better ever since! Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 ...as we all know, its the woman who chooses the man she wants... I don't know that! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 In my case I let her go. Good for you CURMUDGEON....but being an old-timer like me you know that usually its the woman who leaves the man. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 9, 2006 Share Posted April 9, 2006 I don't know that! thats why you aren't sleeping with Pam Anderson or a host of Playboy Playmates or Charlize Theron Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted April 10, 2006 Share Posted April 10, 2006 There IS a God! Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted April 10, 2006 Share Posted April 10, 2006 Yup! She left. I let her go. Best decision either of us ever made. Ya think I should send her a thank you card? Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted April 10, 2006 Share Posted April 10, 2006 thats why you aren't sleeping with Pam Anderson or a host of Playboy Playmates or Charlize Theron With the exception of CT, They are all too well-used. (Not to mention Pam has like every sexually transmitted disease known to man) Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 10, 2006 Share Posted April 10, 2006 With the exception of CT, They are all too well-used. (Not to mention Pam has like every sexually transmitted disease known to man) I know it was a repeat, but the other day there was a Pammy Anderson "roast" on the Comedy channel. Let's say, just looking at her, I felt like I COULD catch something through the TV! Between her and that crazy hole chick Courtney Love I had to change the channel. Too much scunge for my viewing and my husband's viewing tastes! Link to post Share on other sites
Citizen Erased Posted April 10, 2006 Share Posted April 10, 2006 I know it was a repeat, but the other day there was a Pammy Anderson "roast" on the Comedy channel. Let's say, just looking at her, I felt like I COULD catch something through the TV! Between her and that crazy hole chick Courtney Love I had to change the channel. Too much scunge for my viewing and my husband's viewing tastes! scunge is right! Link to post Share on other sites
magda Posted April 10, 2006 Share Posted April 10, 2006 I think it has more to do with communication difficulty than commitment-phobia. I think a lot of times women will try to communicate, the man won't respond to her liking, she'll get sick of it and emotionally check out and be ready for divorce before he's even caught on that the problem is so serious. Again, more generalizations, but oh well. Most people will agree that women are more emotional and into talking things over and men are more likely to avoid emotional conversations. If a woman's emotional needs aren't met she's more likely to be unhappy no matter what the sex is doing. Often a guy won't notice there's a problem until suddenly she isn't putting out. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted April 10, 2006 Share Posted April 10, 2006 Or wishes she'd stopped putting out sooner! Link to post Share on other sites
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