secret affair

[nymotis]

i have been living with my partner for three years,ywo of those years he has been disabled through a drunk driver crashing into him xmas eve 1999.since then i have looked after him he suffers from epilepsy and bladder incontinance.life has been hard and i feel very much used and unlove when i ask for love and affection he says he loves me but he has enough to worry about with everything going on.in the last few weeks i have met someone else who we both know and he is everything i am looking for someone to pay attention to me to give me love and affection i am very tempted but also feel very guilty,i have only one life and i want to make the best of it.please help me to decide if i should embark in a relationship with this other man i am very confused i live my partner, but just need someone tp hold and love me please help....

[Tony T]

What you are looking for sounds pretty normal to me. If your current partner is not able to give those to you, get out of the relationship and do it without guilt.

 

You did not cause this accident and you did not cause any of the other physical and psychological problems that plague him. If he wanted you bad enough, he would realize that he at least has to accomodate your need for affection.

 

I can understand that he is preoccupied with his own problems but I think you have certainly given him enough important time in your life...which you did not owe him. You were NOT married to him when this accident occured and you had no obligation to him whatsoever.

 

In my opinion, you have been extremely generous and kind beyond measure in sticking by him as long as you have without getting much out of it. It doesn't sound like he is willing or able to give you much in return for the sacrifices you have made.

 

Split this weekend after a nice, compassionate talk...give him a kiss and a hug and hit the road to happiness. It's time to start taking care of your own needs.

 

You are hereby honorably discharged.