JeT'Aime Posted April 10, 2006 Share Posted April 10, 2006 well my boyfriend and i have had problems agreeing/disagreeing on the porn issue from the beginning of the relationship. i feel really uncomfortable about him looking at it just because it makes me self consious. i've tried putting myself in his shoes, understanding where he's coming from, but i just can't. when i talked to him about this (about a year ago) i told him he had to chose me or the porn. so, he chose me and promised to never look at it again. well things were going fine for a few months, but then i found it on his computer again. i talked to him and gave him another chance. (i told him i would break up w/ him if i ever found it) so now, it's about a year later, and again, i've been finding it on his computer. i tell him he's addicted and to just do something else when he's thinking about doing it. i want to help him get over it, cause then i won't have to worry. so over the weekend, i confronted him about it. i told him that i love him, and i don't want to see him throw our relationship out the window just to look at some naked girls on the internet. but he said he didn't know if he could give it up?! i don't understand. how can he just throw away our relationship over something that dumb? why can't he just try to understand how i feel? also, i think part of the reason he's doing this is i think he thinks he can get away with it. i've told him and broken up w/ him, but i'm always the one that comes back. i know that our relationship is worth saving so i just come back to him, even though it makes me soooo angry! please help. do you think that he just doesn't care about my feelings or our relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
MadDog Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 Did you know he watched porn before you two got together? Link to post Share on other sites
climbergirl Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 the comment (you stated) that struck me the most is, "it makes me self-conscious". Try not to let it. This isn't cheating, there isn't any physical/emotional attachment to watching porn. I don't believe he's looking at it wishing he was with said person(s) instead of you.......My understanding is that men are looking at the sexual acts as a whole (and/or body parts) and not focusing on a 'person'. I think asking him to not watch porn is akin to asking him to not jack off......he'll still do it, but just deny that he does if you ask. However, if he's replacing sex with you to watch porn then there is definately a problem. Link to post Share on other sites
MadDog Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 the comment (you stated) that struck me the most is, "it makes me self-conscious". Try not to let it. This isn't cheating, there isn't any physical/emotional attachment to watching porn. I don't believe he's looking at it wishing he was with said person(s) instead of you.......My understanding is that men are looking at the sexual acts as a whole (and/or body parts) and not focusing on a 'person'. I think asking him to not watch porn is akin to asking him to not jack off......he'll still do it, but just deny that he does if you ask. However, if he's replacing sex with you to watch porn then there is definately a problem. I think you understand what porn means to (most) guys better than any other girl I've run into. Props. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JeT'Aime Posted April 11, 2006 Author Share Posted April 11, 2006 I totally agree w/ you, and i'm trying to understand it, but i just can't. and he's being so selfish about it. i told him that i'm trying, and he should too (but he's not) Link to post Share on other sites
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