his ex...how much longer do i have to put up with her?

[Guest]

I have been with my boyfriend for one year now. We are totally great. When I met him he had a girlfriend...(they had been together for 5 years or something) We then became great "friends" (because we couldnt be anything else) he broke up with her a year and 3 months ago. She constantly calls him and text messesges him cutesy little things about memories and she totally wants him back. I am not threatened by her nor do i feel my relationship is in the slightest bit rocky, it just simply annoys me to no end! He says he never responds or calls her and i believe him. He has been my man for a year now and i just thought that after she "got over" him that she would stop contact. not the case. she is not getting over him. i wish that i could be "cooler" about everything and not care but it infuriates me to know that there is a woman out there (a long ex especially) that is after my boyfriend. do i finally say something to her asking her to stop? do i text her? my boyfriend says he has told her repeatedly to stop calling and texting. she hasnt. she also went over to his parents house for lunch yesterday!! (wtf?) how much more of HER do i have to deal with? am i being too possessive? how do i handle her (or him?)

[chryssy83]

obviously he communicates with her or else she would have stopped by now

[tigger]

obviously he communicates with her or else she would have stopped by now

 

I second that emotion. Wake up. If he was willing to become "good friends" with you while in a supposedly committed relationship with her, he is willing to be "good friends" with her while in a committed relationship with you.

 

Becoming friends is an excuse, and it's a bunch of crap. He would have been with her if you hadn't developed this "friendship" with him, more over, he would have found someone else to become "good friends" with if you hadn't come along.

 

I think you honestly do have concerns - you just don't want to admit to them. Take a peek at reality and things will be much clearer. (It's not hard to change phone numbers!)

[tikigods]

I ahve always been in the school of though that rarely do people trly stay friends with their exs, and even more rare do they stay friends with them in a relationship that is truly friendship.

 

I think you need to rethink your relationship to this guy

[Mz. Pixie]

SImple. Ask him to change his number. That should prevent her from calling or texting.

[catgirl1927]

I agree with everyone else. If a guy wants a girl to leave him alone, she will. This girl is still around because he wants her around. I think he's lying to you about the nature of their relationship.

[a4a]

I agree with everyone else. If a guy wants a girl to leave him alone, she will. This girl is still around because he wants her around. I think he's lying to you about the nature of their relationship.

 

Not always we had an X stalker..... even decided to invite herself to do a little memory lane write up on our online wedding guestbook. H deleted promptly..... certainly not appropriate, nor was she invited or given the site addy to our guestbook, she actually got the info from a relative.

 

This is was an X from 17 + years ago........ sometimes they just don't let go.

They even get crazier once they find out you are now in a serious relationship.

 

She is one freaky skank. My H did zero contact with her since we have been together. She even had the balls to complain that he did not visit with her.

He wants nothing to do with her..... way over it, but guess in her twisted mind she was not.

 

We were cleaning out the attic and he found prom pictures of them......he chucked them without any input from me..... that is how unwanted she is in his life........ but she thinks or thought that they still had something. Like he says "she has a screw loose".

[SueBee3490]

I second that emotion. Wake up. If he was willing to become "good friends" with you while in a supposedly committed relationship with her, he is willing to be "good friends" with her while in a committed relationship with you.

 

Becoming friends is an excuse, and it's a bunch of crap. He would have been with her if you hadn't developed this "friendship" with him, more over, he would have found someone else to become "good friends" with if you hadn't come along.

 

Thanks Tigger for saying that! He was in a relationship with someone at the time you met him - for 5 years no less!! I would be mad if my bf suddenly became good "friends" with a woman while I was in a relationship with him.

 

My bf was cheating on me while dating and it hurt like hell. I do know that after all my crying over him breaking my heart, someone once gave me a great line.

 

"Nothing good ever comes from someone else's pain"

 

I believed that if he left me for one of his women, they would never have a good relationship because they started it based on deception and lies and obviously - my pain.

 

Also, nobody is "special" so if you think he won't develop those "good friend" relationships with other women while with you - think again. He did it before so he'll do it again.

[chryssy83]

I wasn't necessarily saying he's cheating on you with her. But obviously he's communicated with her because who just texts and calls someone for months/years without any response?

 

If that's the case, he's lying to you. It's not hopeless, necessarily, but it's something that needs to be worked out. Sometimes I think that guys think that covering up the truth to avoid you getting hurt and flipping out can be justified as the right thing to do.

 

Sometimes they need a wake-up call to show them that's not the case.