Author IhavenoFREAKINclue Posted April 11, 2006 Author Share Posted April 11, 2006 I know its tradition. That's why I swaying towards taking it. But I can say that I have not done many traditional things. I think it has more to do with change. I don't like change. I have had my stripper name all my life. Many people are in awe of my name b/c its so unique I guess that's a dumb reason, blah blah if i loved him than it wouldn't matter....blah blah. As long as he's ok with it... Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 She is my equal, marriage to me is approximately a 50/50 proposition. Since I'm asian, I can not imagine her hyphenating her name: ie. Jane Doe-Wang Gosia Wozinski-Wang Elizabeth Goodman-Wang To me it looks weird but that is me. Random psychosis :lmao: I went to a summer program (TIP at Duke U.) and I had a friend there named Lindsay Long-Wang. No joke. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 I like my last name. It is also the name of a popular department store and it sounds really great with my first name. Assonance and all that. So no man will pry my lyrical name from me. Maybe he can take my name instead. Link to post Share on other sites
bab Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 I went to a summer program (TIP at Duke U.) and I had a friend there named Lindsay Long-Wang. No joke. Aside: I got invited to that too, but my parents wouldn't cough up the dough, so we just went up for the ceremony. Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 After my divorce, I didn't want to keep my ex's last name, nor did I want to go back to my maiden name, which was difficult to spell, silly-sounding and reminded me of my father. SO, I changed my name to my great grandmother's last name, because she marched for suffrage in her bloomers lo those many years ago, and ran her own business on the farm during the depression. She was strong, smart, independent and a really cool person, so my last name is now a tribute to her. When my BF and I get married, I will keep my name as my middle name for that reason and because I have built a career with this name and don't intend to change it. I won't hyphenate, and kids would have his last name. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 I went to a summer program (TIP at Duke U.) and I had a friend there named Lindsay Long-Wang. :laugh: one of my colleagues told me that when he was working on the shipping docks in Houston right out of high school, one of his co-workers was named "Dat Ho," and it was a scream whenever the poor guy got paged over the loud speaker. Re: middle names. My sister uses our maiden name as her legal middle name because she hates the one she was given at birth, Gaye. The ironic thing is that she's a fag hag! Link to post Share on other sites
Sinead1981 Posted April 11, 2006 Share Posted April 11, 2006 When I get married I plan to take my husband's name. I don't like hyphenations and it's just really confusing, I think, if you have one last name and your husband has another and then there's the issue of which name your kids would take! Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted April 12, 2006 Share Posted April 12, 2006 Call me weird, but the moment I became Mrs. S, I felt like I obtained some kind of a higher title in my life. You know, like when you become a PhD or a queen assigns you a title... Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted April 12, 2006 Share Posted April 12, 2006 f*** that s***, man. I like my name, I'm keeping it. But hey, whatever tickles your pickle. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted April 12, 2006 Share Posted April 12, 2006 f*** that s***, man. I like my name, I'm keeping it. But hey, whatever tickles your pickle. Marry Me B_O and take my last name and get rid of otter.. You would be Blind_Critic.. hahahahahaha ... I kill myself sometimes.. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted April 12, 2006 Share Posted April 12, 2006 Marry Me B_O and take my last name and get rid of otter.. You would be Blind_Critic.. hahahahahaha ... I kill myself sometimes.. HAH! If you married me you would be Art_Otter. I could call you Art-O for short. Or in bed. Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted April 12, 2006 Share Posted April 12, 2006 Call me weird, but the moment I became Mrs. S, I felt like I obtained some kind of a higher title in my life. You know, like when you become a PhD or a queen assigns you a title... Wow. Not weird. Very, very much like my mother though. Link to post Share on other sites
bluetuesday Posted April 12, 2006 Share Posted April 12, 2006 I like my last name. It is also the name of a popular department store and it sounds really great with my first name. Assonance and all that. from this day forward i will think of you as minnie macy. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted April 12, 2006 Share Posted April 12, 2006 from this day forward i will think of you as minnie macy. OH s***! Now everyone knows my real name!! just kiiiiiding. Link to post Share on other sites
penkitten Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 i just dont like it when a man takes his new wifes last name as his new last name. thats so silly but what do i know. im going to take my fiances name. im sending out a memo to everyone i work with saying what the change is and when it goes in effect. im replacing my name plate after the honeymoon also. thats just what i want to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 Call me weird, but the moment I became Mrs. S, I felt like I obtained some kind of a higher title in my life. You know, like when you become a PhD or a queen assigns you a title... Really? I find that very old-fashioned. Like the way a woman used to refer to herself as "MRS DR GEORGE BLOOM" instead of using her own name. If it makes you happy, go with it then. I for one find it that philosophy somewhat repellant. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 Call me weird, but the moment I became Mrs. S, I felt like I obtained some kind of a higher title in my life. You know, like when you become a PhD or a queen assigns you a title... Those Dame RecordProducers!!! :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 from this day forward i will think of you as minnie macy. Ha! I was thinking Mary Macy. Or Penny Penney. Hm. I should remember these names if I ever decide to write a Nancy Drew-type mystery. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 Ha! I was thinking Mary Macy. Or Penny Penney. Hm. I should remember these names if I ever decide to write a Nancy Drew-type mystery. I was thinking sweet valley high. I just dated myself as a child of the 90s. Link to post Share on other sites
SurpriseSurprise Posted May 4, 2006 Share Posted May 4, 2006 i just dont like it when a man takes his new wifes last name as his new last name. thats so silly but what do i know. This is true of most people. They like tradition. My GF and I did an experiment just to see what is was like if I took her last name in the nonlegal sense. We changed magazine address to label and told a few friends. We had a debt card we used to pay shared house expenses on and she changed my card say Mr Margaret Her name (it is phenomenal how no body asks for driver licences anymore). When we travel she would correct people that called us Mr. Mrs to Ms & Mr. I also got a Safeway card Mr. Margaret her name. We even sent out holiday cards to those friends that were in on it as Ms & Mr her name. I liked her name but it was awkward especially in the beginning. Her friends would call and ask for the woman of the house. Basically a little ribbing. I we would get some looks, smiles and questions at the cash register. Sometimes at Safeway the cashier would say thank you Mr Margaret. I tell you I have a much better idea what woman mean when they say they feel invisible. But to tell the truth it was not all that bad and definitely a good conversation starter.. Link to post Share on other sites
Walk Posted May 4, 2006 Share Posted May 4, 2006 That was a really amazing thing you did. I wish more men would try that before getting all in a huff about the woman not taking their last name. I took my exH last name, but I really had a hard time with it. I love my maiden name. It just makes my whole name unique and cool. People comment on it all the time... I like that. Plus I really had a problem with the philosophy of who am I, if I'm not Walk? Does a name change who we are or who we're seen as? If your inner most thoughts refer to you as Walk, and you suddenly have to refer to yourself as something else, then there's a period of disorientation. At least for me. All this and I have stronger ties with my family, then my exH had with his, so I felt it unfair that I had to give up a perceived link with them. I had to tell people who I was, and how I was connected to my family, that linking name was taken away and it kind of made me feel disconnected in a way. I never got comfortable with it. I changed it to make my exH happy, and to cut down on confusion. But the day the divorce went through, I was at the DMV changing my DL back to my maiden name!! Dumped his name as fast as I could. Oddly enough though... I was thinking about if my bf and I were to get married if I would take his last name. We've discussed it some. He said he'd be happy to take my last name since he has no strong ties to his family, or strong feelings toward his last name. But I don't think I'd have so much of a problem changing my last name if we married. And it's not like his name is all that great.. very generic. But I feel more comfortable with him and that I'm still going to keep my identity no matter what my last name is. Whereas I think I was afraid of losing my identy with the exH. Think there were a lot of control issues that were hidden in that relationship, and I realized it on a subconcious level, but could never put a finger on it. Link to post Share on other sites
SurpriseSurprise Posted May 4, 2006 Share Posted May 4, 2006 I think I had more of a distraction around the attention to notice the disorientation but yes it is a real change of habit to write or say someone else's name in place of yours. The funny part is I felt more connected to her. My family and lineage is very scattered and she comes from a bigger family with more of a linage. So it was like being adopted. When we did this she seem to say her name with more pride and confidence. Confidence is sexy. She is quick to chime in if someone makes a rude comment about why we did it. For her she has a job were she can't changer her name. Me it doesn't much matter if my name changes. A few people would be confused and it would be done. For the long term I think we will loose the Ms. & Mr Margaret part but I think I can feel comfortable being known by her name. The part I think is funny is I find woman seem to be more opposed to this then men. Link to post Share on other sites
Nur Posted May 4, 2006 Share Posted May 4, 2006 I know I will not marry anytime soon, but I've thought about the issue, too. My boyfriend right now is Hispanic. I am Irish. Frankly, I can't even pronounce his last name correctly. The idea of, for the rest of my life, mis-saying my own last name sounds pretty ludicrous. In addition, I love my last name. My last name and I have gone through a lot together. I plan on having a rather high-powered career, probably as a psychiatrist. Do I want to be Dr. His Last Name, which I can't pronounce? Or Dr. Mine, which was the name I had all through school? My entire family is pressuring me to take the name of my husband when I marry. I'd be nice to have the same last name as my children, I admit it. Is it possible to have a "professional" name and a "domestic" name without confusing the hell out of everyone? How would you introduce yourself, anyway? Bleh. Link to post Share on other sites
SurpriseSurprise Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 Having just one name is a marriage. If that is fabricating a name out of both of your name or one taking the others name. You are then one family. If you take his last name and use your name professionally gets mixed up. You legal name will keep popping up and confuse people and vise versa. If you hyphenate you are back to your original problem. If you keep your name then when you have children who's last name will they get? If it is his then you start looking like a stranger. If it is yours then he appears detached from the family. You can play with this in many way's you both change your last name to have your last name as middle, you hyphenate or one of you bites the bullet and change your last name. From the sound of it you both would have challenges of giving up your name. To resolve this involves compromise. That is what both of you will need to do several times in marriage. How process of how you resolve will be telling of how you will resolve future conflicts. The other thing that comes into the views of changing his name is dominance. As the standard of taking the mans name you can get away with not standing out. If he takes your name it all of a sudden becomes a statement of dominance If you hyphenate or don't take his name it is much more subtle but still a statement of independence. Once you step away from the standard you are making a statement. For me she has the high-powered career and yes she makes more then I do but again I wanted to make a statement of how much I believe in her. Having one name we build what people think of us as a family not one or the other. What she does that makes her name recognized I benefit from and the other way around. It is just a mater of making a decision. I will tell you for a man it is a big step and it is intimidating but after trying the waters it is not so bad. Link to post Share on other sites
grateful Posted May 5, 2006 Share Posted May 5, 2006 SurpriseSuprise... if we were both single I'd stalk you and marry you. Seriously, your willingness to take her name is absolutely one of the sexiest things I've heard about in a long time. Her friends may be ribbing you but I bet they are soooooooo jealous. I'm not changing my name. I'm inspired by you to find out if my SO might change his. Link to post Share on other sites
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