My fiance is pissing me off!!! Help!

[Alexa]

My fiance and I have a great relationship. We talk and we write to each other constantly. He's in the military, therefore it's turned into a long distance relationship. It doesn't bother me at all. I love him the same, and I know he feels that way too. However, sometimes when we talk on the phone, he likes to play around. Jokingly, he'll ask me if I've talked to other guys at my college, or if I've been getting hit on by other guys. I tell him no, because it's the truth. I knows he's only playing around, but sometimes it upsets me. He knows it, and he apologizes to me. I don't know why I can't get this out of my mind. Perhaps, it's me. Am I being uptight or too sensitive? I take these "jokes" too seriously. I really don't know how to react to his comments. Is it better for me to just laugh them off or what? I don't want him to think of me as some prude who can't take any jokes. I love him too much, and it would hurt me even more if we were to end our relationship. I know someone out there can give me a bit of advice, I would really appreciate it!!!

[arthropod]

he says he's joking, but this is his way of really asking you what's going on -- one of the many problems of long-distance relationships. he's trying to make it sound like a joke to "lighten" what's on his mind, but he's really trying to checking up on you.

 

now, if this REALLY bothers you, then you should tell him it's GOT to stop, or you won't be contacting him anymore! maybe he doesn't know the severity of how you feel about this????

My fiance and I have a great relationship. We talk and we write to each other constantly. He's in the military, therefore it's turned into a long distance relationship. It doesn't bother me at all. I love him the same, and I know he feels that way too. However, sometimes when we talk on the phone, he likes to play around. Jokingly, he'll ask me if I've talked to other guys at my college, or if I've been getting hit on by other guys. I tell him no, because it's the truth. I knows he's only playing around, but sometimes it upsets me. He knows it, and he apologizes to me. I don't know why I can't get this out of my mind. Perhaps, it's me. Am I being uptight or too sensitive? I take these "jokes" too seriously. I really don't know how to react to his comments. Is it better for me to just laugh them off or what? I don't want him to think of me as some prude who can't take any jokes. I love him too much, and it would hurt me even more if we were to end our relationship. I know someone out there can give me a bit of advice, I would really appreciate it!!!

[Daisy]

You know, my boyfriend likes to joke around like that too. We've been going out for more than 2 years now, and at the beginning I'd always get kinda mad at him for asking and then reply with "Of course I'm not, I'd never do anything like that".

 

Now granted, my boyfriend loves to tease me with terrible jokes. I'm not sure if your fiance is like this or not ... but with my boyfriend, it's almost to the point of teasing me until I can't stand it. Over the past few months, I've actually been standing up for myself. I sat him down for a talk and told him I would not accept that kind of behavior anymore. And, surprisingly, he listened. He's been treating me great ever since. I'm not real sure if your situation is that extreme or not, but you could possibly try that route.

 

Here's another suggestion. Next time he jokes around with you about seeing any other guys, go along with it. Tell him something like, "Yeah, I met this guy in one of my classes. He's SO hot. He hits on me all the time. I'm thinking about adding him to my long list of current boyfriends. Geez, I think I have about 20 of them on call now. You think I should add him?" Make sure it's something totally off the wall ... and make sure he KNOWS you're joking around. See how HE likes it when you return the joke. It might work or it might not. When I started doing this to my boyfriend, he always got mad at the thought of me with another guy, even though he knew I was joking. And I always told him, "If you can't handle me joking around with you, then don't joke around with me". Of course, I didn't pull this joke EVERY SINGLE time he asked. You have to do it with moderation, or his male brain might go into overdrive thinking that you really are doing what you're saying.

 

Anyway, that's my two cents worth.

 

Good luck.