Complaining and griping from the husband.

[Kenyth]

I feel a bit persecuted.

 

 

Personally, I don't deserve the critical attitude I get sometimes. I do my fair share of work and I don't complain if the house is messy. I thought maybe I was just not seeing things clearly, so I took a walk around the house taking inventory of clutter and whose it was. Here's the tally.

 

1 pair of my shoes and 6 pairs of hers.

 

1 jacket of mine and 3 of hers.

 

A garbage bags worth of packaging/bags from shopping. All hers.

 

A ton of baby stuff laying around. I count this as a shared responsibility, but she tends to throw things wherever they may lay. I at least try to put things in one spot (ie. the cradle)

 

1 of my catalogs and a full 12 of hers.

 

1 book of mine and 3 of hers.

 

A heaping mound of junk mail and old bills that I have to sneak to throw away. So I count that as hers.

 

Two significant piles of papers from work, both hers.

 

Clothing laying on the floor of the bedroom. All hers. I used to be bad about this, but have shaped up. I also got a valet for Xmas, which gives me a place to put my work attire after work.

 

The carpet and furniture are covered in cat hair from her pet that sheds madly and she never brushes. I'm allergic to cats and on meds that take care of it fairly well. I don't complain about this. I know it's hard to keep up with.

 

The phones are always hiding somewhere in the house and don't get hung back up unless I do it or the batteries die.

 

Dirty rings on the side table from me setting baby bottles there without a coaster. My bad.

 

A glass on the countertop from me.

 

3 Pepsi cans from her in varying stages of emptiness.

 

I let the trash get overfull in the kitchen.

 

I could go on and on, but you get the picture. I'm not perfect, but most of the clutter is from her. She doesn't like to throw things away, and likes to purchase things with no idea where to put them. She also seems to like collecting the packaging from her purchases (Nice bags, shoe boxes, etc.) Then, when the house gets messy, I'm to blame somehow.

 

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Now, on to chore distribution! Any task that is unpleasant, sweaty, or hard is relegated to me. Here is what I do %100 of.

 

Trash collecting throughout the house and taking it out.

 

Cleaning and disposing of old things in the refrigerator. (Anything involving the garbage disposal)

 

Buying and hauling salt to the water softener.

 

All yard work, landscaping, and gardening.

 

All snow removal.

 

All repair/maintenance work. (car oil/filter/lube, car/appliance small repair and cleaning, car washing, home repairs/maintenance, etc.) If it involves using a tool, I do it.

 

Holiday decoration storage and deployment.

 

Moving furniture or boxes.

 

All assembly work.

 

Painting.

 

Computer and wirless network set-up and maintenance.

 

Garage cleaning and organizing.

 

Garage sale set-up and any bartering.

 

Baby bathing.

 

Grilling

 

I do at least some of all the housework and childcare. Frequently, I do half of it. Child care in particular I do at least half of.

 

 

 

What my wife does %100 of:

 

Laundry (Except I help carry clothes on hangers back upstairs)

 

Decorating (Except actually hanging or assembling things)

 

Shopping for anything non-tool (Except carrying in groceries)

 

Finances

 

 

Now, I know my list looks impressive, but admittedly many of those tasks occur only infrequently. Also, some of the work I actually enjoy a bit, like gardening or landscaping. Also, with a baby, there is quite a bit of laundry to do. I'd say the laundry job gets milked on occasion though. I've cleaned the entire house and done every scrap of laundry on a Saturday before.

 

At the same time, I feel I do my fair share. My jobs occur more intermittently, but they take longer and are more intense. They also tend to be dirtier and harder. As she put it, I'm also stronger and in better physical shape. So I am able to do more in less time. Thus, I REALLY HATE being treated like an irresponsible slacker if I decide to play some computer games, or smoke a cigar, or have a drink. Sometimes, it's like she can't stand to be doing something or watching the baby if she knows I'm sitting around! Anyone else have this problem?

[hotgurl]

why don't you talk to her. Chore division is a bone of contention with me as well.

 

I do the laundry, cooking, cleaning and most of the dishes.

 

But I think it's the mine and yours crap. He thinks like that too and it pisses me off.

 

I do his laundry if he has to pick up a magizine of mine do it without complain or help me hang up clothes not just yours.

 

He is good about saying thankyou and doing other chores which I can not.

 

 

Honestly it sound like you nedd one of thoose organization services. esp with a baby it can get overwelming. But if everything was organized it would be easier to keep on top of.

[a4a]

I hear ya!!

 

The H just cleaned the shower with me for the first time in one year! I do it all. He comes home eats and might help put away clothing ect.

 

So funny that he went to use the central vac last night and could not remember how to release the handle. I was busy and asked him to vac, as it must be done at least every other day here. (he only had to vac the dining room rug mind you)

 

Anywho I would suggest getting a cleaning lady and shaving the cat.

[Kenyth]

This post is mostly just complaining. People have different abilities and you can't damn someone because they don't have the same capacity or skills you do. You can just feel unappreciated sometimes.

 

With the baby there is a lot of work to go around. We used to just do housecleaning at the same time. It got done fairly quickly. We can't do that anymore. Someone has to watch or play with the baby. That leaves only one to do the work. It also means that most of your free time is gone regardless of what you do every night. It can wear on nerves after a while. When your nerves are wore down, you lose objectivity. Fairness no longer comes into play. Everyone feels oppressed.

[Kenyth]

I hear ya!!

 

The H just cleaned the shower with me for the first time in one year! I do it all. He comes home eats and might help put away clothing ect.

 

So funny that he went to use the central vac last night and could not remember how to release the handle. I was busy and asked him to vac, as it must be done at least every other day here. (he only had to vac the dining room rug mind you)

 

Anywho I would suggest getting a cleaning lady and shaving the cat.

 

Shaving the cat! LOL! That would go over well!

 

a4a, you're a trip!

 

Speaking of shower cleaning. Have you seen that new auto shower cleaner doo-dad on TV? I have GOT to get one of those!

[a4a]

Shaving the cat! LOL! That would go over well!

 

a4a, you're a trip!

 

Speaking of shower cleaning. Have you seen that new auto shower cleaner doo-dad on TV? I have GOT to get one of those!

 

No I have not seen it.......... but if it comes in the form of a hot naked guy....... I need one of those too!

[Kenyth]

Hotgurl, organizing the place would be my pleasure and not that hard. I just need her to QUIT BUYING MORE STUFF! Aaaaccckkk!

 

Clutter is the root of all housekeeping evils IMHO.

 

Unfortunately, buying stuff to organize "stuff" is boring. Buying "stuff" is fun!

 

She's getting better actually, with the exception of baby stuff. We've got piles of that. Some of it never even gets used.

[Kenyth]

No I have not seen it.......... but if it comes in the form of a hot naked guy....... I need one of those too!

 

 

 

*sigh* Incorrigible.........

[hotgurl]

I hate hate hate clutter.

 

It makes the place look messier than it is. It makes it hard to finds things and makes me cranky.

 

How old is the baby. Maybe you two need a night out.

[Kenyth]

I hate hate hate clutter.

 

It makes the place look messier than it is. It makes it hard to finds things and makes me cranky.

 

How old is the baby. Maybe you two need a night out.

 

 

The worst thing about clutter is that it makes it difficult to clean. You have to constantly move things around.

 

He's 9 months old. We probably do need a night out to dinner with some friends. Things have been a little busy lately. I think the coming of spring will help things a bit. A little time out in the sun does wonders.

[a4a]

*sigh* Incorrigible.........

 

 

yes it is true I am....... but I usually keep a smile on my face

 

Kill all Dust Bunnies!!!!

[whichwayisup]

Noone really likes or enjoys housework but it is one of those things that has to be done, especially when you have kids (and pets) clutter seems to have sex and multiply when you're not looking.

 

She's probably so tired and couldn't be bothered. Plus, I think she has allowed herself to slip in the sense of being comfortable and not caring about how things look inside the house. Compromise - Pick a day and both of you clean the house. Once things are put away and organized, that is when you talk to her about doing her share and staying ontop of her stuff all over the place.

 

Other alternative is get a cleaning lady to come once every 2 weeks.

[Mr. Peebles]

Noone really likes or enjoys housework but it is one of those things that has to be done, especially when you have kids (and pets) clutter seems to have sex and multiply when you're not looking.

 

She's probably so tired and couldn't be bothered. Plus, I think she has allowed herself to slip in the sense of being comfortable and not caring about how things look inside the house. Compromise - Pick a day and both of you clean the house. Once things are put away and organized, that is when you talk to her about doing her share and staying ontop of her stuff all over the place.

 

Other alternative is get a cleaning lady to come once every 2 weeks.

 

Get a cleaning lady AND a babysitter. Come home after a nice night out to a clean house!