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I have been married for over 13 yrs, and over 2 yrs ago I had an affair with this man that I have been hot for since the first day I met him over 10yrs ago. We have not had any contact other than a quick hi and bye thing but I feel as if I am hooked on him because I can't seem to get him out of my head.

Can anyone give me some advice to get this person out of my head.

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Try telling your husband the truth and I think he would be out of your head very soon. How would you feel if your husband has a quick affair on you? By telling your husband you can work as a team in rebuilding your marriage and getting the thoughts of the OM out of your head. Good Luck.

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Blind Illusion

In the ideal world, both spouses might work together as a team to get the OM out of your mind but this can very easily become an even bigger nightmare waiting to happen.

 

If you want to tell, do tell but I would do that with a qualified, objective third party like a marriage counselor working you both through that one.

 

The best way to get him out of your mind is if you don't see/speak to him and try and have something else that you are passionate about take its place. It's not going to be the same, of course, but it will be a distraction while time works its magic. I'm not sure what else to suggest other than the usual things of changing thoughts when you think of him, shutting off songs that remind you of good times with him, etc. I'm not even sure if those things work but it's what I hear.

 

There's some books too that deal with this dilemma. One non-judgmental one is :

http://www.thisaffairisover.com/indexgoo.htm?gclid=CKjkjOiZpoQCFQ8FHgodLkareA

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