attracted or just being friendly?

[subtitled]

I have a shameless crush on a guy friend of mine. We've only been friends for just over two months and I've only been single for a fortnight (was in long term relationship but not any more). We get on really well and i'm trying to work out if he likes me and is waiting or just sees me as a friend.

 

Here's a list of things which I've interpreted as indicating he might like me and then i'm going to list the things that make me think he might just see me as a friend.

 

Does he like me or is he just being friendly?

 

LIKES?

 

+ We go to church together, so our main contact is chatting after church. In the past i've gone up to him after church for a chat, and that's been good, but i don't like to do the chasing, so recently i've been waiting to see what he does when i don't make the move. In the last two weeks both times he's hovered around where i'm standing near the end of the night as if he wants to talk to me but doesn't want to seem obvious. Both times i've responded and we've had a really good lengthy chat.

 

+ He asked me to write a press release for his new cd.

 

+ He gave me an exclusive listen to his new cd in order to this and said "you're the only person outside of the studio who's heard this!"

 

+ He told me he really liked the press release and asked if he could take my photo for his band website and put a thankyou on the site.

 

+ Just last week he referred casually to our first real deep conversation which was about two months ago (he gave me a lift in his car to our weekend away and we chatted for about 2 hours non-stop).

 

+ A few times i've noticed him sit next to me in a group when he could've sat elsewhere.

 

+ He complimented me on my writing after he saw my work in the paper (i'm a freelance journalist when im not studying) and in the compliment he made an joke from an email conversation we'd had.

 

+ He's encouraged me in my writing when i've had doubt in my abilities.

 

+ We have long chats that contain basically no small talk. We mainly talk about music and debate ideas/share what's going on in our lives. We have a lot in common so it works well.

 

+ When we chat he never loses eye contact and often i notice we mirror each other's facial expressions.

 

+ I've noticed that sometimes when he makes jokes when we're among a group of people he'll look at me for a response and smiles.

 

+ He's asked me to his CD launch and invited me to his "yay our album's been released" party.

 

+ On Sunday he asked if i wanted i lift home in a roundabout way - he asked "how do you normally get home on a sunday?", but because i told him i had a lift already i didn't give him the chance to say "would you like a lift" but the intonation suggested he was going to ask. (I live about 30 mins away from his house, which would make it an hour round trip.)

 

OR JUST BEING FRIENDLY?

 

+ I asked to interview him for an article i was doing and he replied "i can find you much hotter and more interesting people to interview than me" and gave me numbers of other people.

 

+ I invited him to my housewarming and he didn't come and then didn't say anything the next time i saw him. Mind you, the same day of my housewarming he invited me to his album party and i didnt go and didnt bring it up either. We did bring both up eventually last week and we both apologised for not being at each other's party. He said he was at a 21st and my house was so far away.

 

+ Sometimes it seems like he's avoiding me - i cant work out if he's playing "the game" where you wait for eachother to make the move. For eg, sometimes he'll walk past me and i'll pretend i havent seen him and he won't say hi. It can feel like we're playing mind games, but maybe it's just me?

 

+ We've never hung out one on one (but i hear he has a policy of not hanging out with girls one on one unless he's dating them).

 

+ We only chat in person and in text messages or in email. Never chatted on the phone.

 

+ He seems to be friendly with lots of girls.

 

+ He gives lifts to some girls at church who I think he's been friends with since he was a kid, but he also hangs out with them socially - not sure if he sees me like in this sort of platonic way too.

 

+ I've heard lots of girls have liked him in the past... so i'm only one in a line of many!

[blind_otter]

I think he's just being friendly.

[TheSwordfish]

Maybe he's gay

 

Now, seriously, just flirt with him and you'll know for sure how he feels....

[SuperMonk]

Ask him out if you must, it's one of those situations where the girl has to batter up to see what kinda relationship you both have.

 

Right now you got a 50/50 thing, you want to make a determination now, go ask him out.

[subtitled]

I think he's just being friendly.

 

Which bits make this seem like the case?

 

It feels like we subconsciously flirt with one another and the vibe I get is he's interested, but sussing us out (especially as I only just broke up with my ex two weeks ago).

 

I can't just ask him out...! (scary!) i'm going to play the waiting game, I was just interested in seeing how others would interpret the stuff i listed above. Curiosity did kill the cat, but i don't have one so that's good.

[Mary3]

Honestly : I think he enjoys being around you and respects you.

 

Does he like you romantically ? Maybe he's not interested in dating anyone right now.

 

If you invite him to things and he does not show up ( with the exception of your last post ) then I would put him in the friend zone because thats where he may have put you.

 

You can take the risk and gush that you like him but it does not seem he is ready to gush back.

 

Move slow. Enjoy his friendship. If it gets too weird for you then step out of the friendship.