Miss Ellen Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 There's this really sweet guy that goes to my church. I really like him, but I don't think he knows. I'm far too shy to ask him out and my biggest fear is rejection. What do I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 Buy him a new bible and inside tuck a card,in it with perasonal info Link to post Share on other sites
aleatoryd Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 LOL! I have my own slightly different problem but I can see your situation. In my church its impossible to tell whether any of the girls are single and get to know them. I sometimes think church is great for couples but not so for single people. All we get is preaching on marriage etc. So the question is what does a single person do in your church? Do you know this guy as a person i.e. name, are you comfortable going over and talking to them? If you know them it sure helps as perhaps you can just ask them what they thought of the speaker, or what job they do - in my church people tend to stay after the service and chat. Just saying hi might help. Trust me its usually the single guys who are very shy and we tend to wait until someone crosses our radar before we even realise they exist... and when we do notice girls we start getting interested. The challenge is are they someone you can approach and talk to. If you can then you can maybe see what they are interested in and maybe see if you can end up on the same Bible study/cell group or outreach. Within the Christian Circuit there seem to be two main relationship "theologies" - the "anti dating movement" and the "boundaries in dating". Both sets of ideas are worth considering and knowing what your love interests view of things is would be helpful. Not all guys like the girl making the first move but gee we (especially in my case) could sure do with some bright neon signs flashing at us to do something. I think women have maybe had to become more assertive because men have dropped the ball and well we're scared. I'm in no way trying to sound anti-feminist I just think that there wouldn't be such a big issue if guys (myself included) hadn't become so lame "anti-dating" - I kissed Dating Goodbye (Josh Harris) "boundaries" - Boundaries in Dating (Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend) I don't know if I've been much help but if you can give extra info such as how well you know the guy, his friends, anything he might be interested in etc then I'll happily try and offer help. Link to post Share on other sites
ddnnee Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 church is a breeding zone... or i guess a breeder's market place. the first thing is to say to urself "SCREW REJECTION." you know rejection isn't all that bad once u get rejected a few times. Soon rejection will be one of those old things. Long ago i was afraid of rejections too, but the hurt isn't as bad as a breakup. SO, just ask him out and if he rejects you, too bad for him... NEXT! Link to post Share on other sites
aleatoryd Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 church is a breeding zone... or i guess a breeder's market place.... "SCREW REJECTION." Lol! I respect you determination and boldness ddnnee but remember not everyone has the same coping mechanisms as you. If there is rejection there are consequences. Miss Ellen might not want to hit this situation on so head on with a win or lose attitude. In my opinion it's not nice to suffer rejection after rejection and if you become numb to the feeling well then you have to question how much you want to be with the person. I think that a gung ho approach would be a last resort. also some guys don't feel totally comfortable with the girl approaching them. Depends on the person I guess. Also the fallout in a church can be nasty. Christians can be the worst people ever! It must be the inbred dominant gossip/bitchy gene in us LOL! Link to post Share on other sites
Admiral Thrawn Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 I think that a gung ho approach would be a last resort. also some guys don't feel totally comfortable with the girl approaching them. Depends on the person I guess. Also the fallout in a church can be nasty. Christians can be the worst people ever! It must be the inbred dominant gossip/bitchy gene in us LOL! I think I left a church on that one. Maybe I was paranoid, maybe it was real, who knows. Link to post Share on other sites
aleatoryd Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 Sadly a lot of people leave their churches because we are only human (though some people seem to think they are super spiritual) after all and we make mistakes. I think God has a time and plan for us to grow and experience things. I've always learnt from the hard times and hope it just prepares me for my future wife. I think God is working far more outside the church than within and perhaps it's to heal the damage we ourselves inadvertently caused. God created us to love and be loved. I hope everyone will get there in the end. Link to post Share on other sites
Austin Jones Posted April 26, 2006 Share Posted April 26, 2006 There's this really sweet guy that goes to my church. I really like him, but I don't think he knows. I'm far too shy to ask him out and my biggest fear is rejection. What do I do? Im a boy in 6th grade. I like girls who are there self. I had the same problem not to long ago. OK. Any-ways you know, what do you got to lose just talk to him. Thats what i did.If he dont like its because your to go for him. Or mabey He likes you but hes to shy to talk the that hot girl at his on sundays. Or mabey he is taken and cant talk to that girl he sees on sundays. Well thats all i got to say.Good Luck! Link to post Share on other sites
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