winnie_05 Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 I'm so confused. I've been with my fiance for over 4 years. I do love him and want a future with him, but theres this man(who quite a bit older then me) who I can't get out of my head. I think he may like me, it feels to me like theres a lot of sexual chemistry but im not sure. There seems to be a lot of eye contact between us, more so when no ones looking, (my fiance and his wife) and my heart is all a flutter. I think about him at times I shouldnt, hes on my mind all the time. Its impossible for us to be together. How do i know if he likes me without asking him? I need to know if he likes me or not, im not saying anything would happen its just this has been going on for well over a year. Is it just me? Winnie Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 Why do you need to know if he likes you? Unless you plan on cheating, it shouldnt make a difference for you to know that. Actually, because of your OWN feelings, i think you should get this friend out of your life. Link to post Share on other sites
qnmc Posted April 13, 2006 Share Posted April 13, 2006 Totally agree with dgiirl, why do you want to know? If you're afraid you'll cheat, keep the guy out of your life as much as possible. What you're interested in is the fantasy of this guy... because that's all he is - a fantasy. Go rent the movie High Fidelity with John Cusak. Towards the end he talks about the fantasy of other people - but he sums it all up by saying the reason they're attractive to us is because they're not real - you haven't seen their more human habits. With your fiance, you have seen their human side and decided you love him for it as opposed to in spite of it. I'd think extremely carefully if I were you. Finding someone in life who you're willing to say yes to is very difficult. Trust me, the other guy is a fantasy - sure he may be very attractive - but he's just a fantasy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author winnie_05 Posted April 15, 2006 Author Share Posted April 15, 2006 I know your right really, he is a fantasy because i know i'd never want to be with him. I cant avoid seeing him, but when i do this always happens. Why? He was also commenting on how nice i looked and if i'd done anything different with my hair etc. Little things and the eye contact thing that makes me wonder. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 I think there is a bigger problem here. You are attracted to him and likely others in your future. Its not to say its abnormal to see other attractive flowers in the field but when you are engaged its not okay to pick them. This might be a * close call * but how many others will there be ? I don't think you should get married when you are talking about flutterings of feelings stirring for someone else and questioning them here for us to answer. I think you already have your answer. Don't get married until you are really ready. Not to say you wont admire other males that cross your path but if you have ANY doubts , dont go through a marraige ritual that could end in disaster. Link to post Share on other sites
TheSwordfish Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 Don't act on chemistry alone. Love at first sight and the feeling that comes with it (infatuation) are bad indicators. Some girls liked me based on just that, and in most cases there was nothing but lust behind it and no love at all. If you love your fiance, just let this friend go. This reminds me of an aquaintance of mine. His girlfriend dumped him because she was in infatuate. Turne out the other guy had no interest in her beyond lust, so she ran back to her boyfriend. (The good lad took her back, I thought he was nuts!) Link to post Share on other sites
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