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Jealous of his ex


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Angelina1433

I can't believe I'm even writing this. But I'm so stressed out. My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months (let's call him Pete). Pete has an exgirlfriend that he left from where he came from - Minneapolis. But she wanted to marry him - he didn't want to marry her. Apparently, they are still best friends and talk on the phone A LOT. Don't ask me how I know, I just do. And they text message. No, I haven't read them. When I talk about her, he says that I'm being rediculous and that he only talks to her maybe once a month - which is a boldfaced lie, it's more like 10. I don't know anymore details than these.

 

Should I suspect something? He says he loves me, but...And he wants to move back to MN eventually. AGGGHHHH!! I'm a stupid girl.

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catgirl1927

You are not stupid. What is alarming is that he lied about her. That's a huge red flag. You are not jealous, you are aware there is a problem. Are you really involved with him? How close are you guys? Have you talked about being exclusive?

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Angelina1433

We are very close. And we are exclusive. I'm concerned about the lie too, but maybe he just said that because he knew I would freak out and there really is nothing going on other than talking. I don't know. I'm driving myself insane with jealousy.

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OMG he lied? That's lame. Alright missy do I have some feedback and a little bit of experience for you....

 

My current boyfriend has 2 ex's whom I have dealt with alot of jealousy with one. He has compared me to her SO many times. WTH? Anyway, that's a whole new thread.

 

My boyfriend before we moved to Portland from San Francisco went behind my back one day to go to have an early dinner with her after her got off work. I called him, no answer. I was so upset when he finally called me and nonchalantly said, "oh yeah, I am just hanging out with ******...". He didn't understand why I was so upset. He didn't answer his phone for the majority of time he was with her. He typically answers his phone.

 

It took me a long time to get over this incident and even when I acted over it and he assured me, "if I wanted to be with ****** I would be with her.. not you. But I am with you. C'mon I am leaving my family and job to move out here with you..." I still was upset and teased him about it from time to time. I even had to look her up on myspace just to see what I was up for.

 

I shouldn't say this...

 

But you need to make him feel bad for what he did. You need to let him know WHAT he did (don't let him talk about logic). Ask him why he did it. I bet you he can't come up with an answer. If he feels for what he did.. he won't likely do it again.

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Angelina1433

Jadore - At least I don't have to worry about her having dinner with her - b/c she lives in Minnesota and we live in another state. All I have to worry about are the conversations they have on the phone for an hour here, 1/2 hour there. WTF could they be talking about for that freaking long?!?!?

 

I'm so sorry about your BF. I hope that he's not giving you any reason to be jealous now. And I hear the same thing, "If I wanted to be with her, I would." I've often heard that men are pretty simple. They say what they mean. But when I find out that he's lying about talking to her, it's hard for me to believe.

 

But I can't bring up the phone calls, b/c he doesn't know how I know (let alone that I know period). If he did, he would probably think I'm a complete psychotic jealous beotch.

 

I guess I'll just have to let it go and trust that he and she are just friends. :(

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