Want Him Back !

[Sara]

Hi-

 

To make a long story short, me and the ex were together 5 years. He has now moved away to finish his last year of college and broke things off saying he doesn't love, that something is missing, and that he is curious about others. Neither of us have ever dated others and are still only 21. He has been dating people since being away and it has torn me apart. I still love him and want to be with him, but he tells me that will never happen. We have agreed to be friends and the friendship is going very well. Sometimes I wonder if I give more space or seem more aloof perhaps he would be more interested in me, especially since I have always been there and he doesn't know what it's like without me around. I don't even know if this would do any good at this point, or if there is even anything I can do at this point to get him back. I've tried my best to accept things, but it's like our friendship is so good and things are so good between us, I just don't understand why he is so unwilling to give things another change between us. It's weird cause he calls everyday and we talk for long periods of time. Does this mean anything signifcant? Why would he call so much if he wasn't still interested in me?

 

Thanks for reading! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

[USAFHoney]

Well, this sounds exactly like the case between my ex but now current boyfriend, we had been together for 4 years and when I went away to school my friends rumored that he had been seeing other people, I was pissed and told him that I could never trust him again, big Mistake, He dumped me and said if there is not trust there is no relationship so we agreed (like you) to be friends he would call me daily and we would talk for hours, about things that we talked about when we were together. He tried to be controlling over my relationships and everything ( Is your ex that way?) I was so hurt by our break up I hated to see him talking to other females, It hurt me sooooo bad, This is what I did to get him back, When he called I would pretend to be busy, or even ignore his call, When greeting him around the town I would not speak I just gave him a really sassy wave, I would go to every club he went to looking my best and I would not pay him any mind, I would make myself noticable though. I talked to guys against his will and made him realize what he was missing, Sorry this is so long but my point is this... Make him see the things that he loved about you, don't call him everyday call him every other day and so on, make him jealous and then he'll come back... Running :=) GOOD LUCK

Hi- To make a long story short, me and the ex were together 5 years. He has now moved away to finish his last year of college and broke things off saying he doesn't love, that something is missing, and that he is curious about others. Neither of us have ever dated others and are still only 21. He has been dating people since being away and it has torn me apart. I still love him and want to be with him, but he tells me that will never happen. We have agreed to be friends and the friendship is going very well. Sometimes I wonder if I give more space or seem more aloof perhaps he would be more interested in me, especially since I have always been there and he doesn't know what it's like without me around. I don't even know if this would do any good at this point, or if there is even anything I can do at this point to get him back. I've tried my best to accept things, but it's like our friendship is so good and things are so good between us, I just don't understand why he is so unwilling to give things another change between us. It's weird cause he calls everyday and we talk for long periods of time. Does this mean anything signifcant? Why would he call so much if he wasn't still interested in me? Thanks for reading! Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

[clia]

He has now moved away to finish his last year of college and broke things off saying he doesn't love, that something is missing, and that he is curious about others.

Neither of us have ever dated others and are still only 21.

He's told you how he feels. Trust me, he's not lying. He's not saying that he doesn't love you, that something is missing in your relationship for the heck of it. That is how he feels. At 21, I don't blame him for wanting to date other people. The question is, why don't you? Aren't you at all curious to see what else is out there?

He has been dating people since being away and it has torn me apart. I still love him and want to be with him, but he tells me that will never happen.

Again, you are in complete denial. You need to wake up and realize that your relationship with this guy is over. It doesn't sound like he's mincing words or leading you on.

We have agreed to be friends and the friendship is going very well.

If you still have deep feelings for him and he doesn't for you, your friendship is NOT going well. You are being his friend because you are clinging to the hope that he's going to change his mind and go back with you. Guess what? He's not. He told you how he feels. This is not a healthy situation for you. You need to move on with your life, date other people, and make new friends.

Sometimes I wonder if I give more space or seem more aloof perhaps he would be more interested in me, especially since I have always been there and he doesn't know what it's like without me around. I don't even know if this would do any good at this point, or if there is even anything I can do at this point to get him back.

My guess is no, but you never know. You certainly shouldn't 'be' there for him all the time. He broke up with you. That means you no longer have any obligation to him. You should give him more space, but because you want and need more space for yourself. I know you think you're buddies and all that, but once he meets a new girl who really gets him going, he's going to drop you.

I've tried my best to accept things, but it's like our friendship is so good and things are so good between us, I just don't understand why he is so unwilling to give things another change between us.

You haven't accepted anything. Don't kid yourself. You already said it kills you that he's dating other girls. You are still hung up on this guy, and talking to him isn't going to help. Just because you guys are 'great' friends doesn't mean he wants to marry you, spend his life with you, and have babies with you. After five years, I'm sure he cares about you, but that's hugely different than being in love with you. And as he said, he doesn't love you anymore.

It's weird cause he calls everyday and we talk for long periods of time. Does this mean anything signifcant? Why would he call so much if he wasn't still interested in me?

This means that the two of you have been best friends for the past five years and he doesn't want to lose his best friend. It doesn't means he wants anything other than that with you. All you are doing is hurting yourself by continuing this 'friendship.' My advice to you is to stop talking to him so much, start dating other people, get some new hobbies, and keep yourself otherwise occupied so you can move on from this relationship. You are only going to hurt MORE down the line if you keep this up. All you're doing is hanging on to the hope that he's going to come back, and I don't think he is. How are you going to feel when he finds a new serious girlfriend? You need to get yourself out of denial and move on with your life.