sandra Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 Hey everyone! I've posted several posts on the cheating forum about my cheating boyfriend of 3 years. To make my story short, my boyfriend of 3 years had been talking to a certain girl for about a month and I happened to find out by checking his messages that it was more than friendship that was going on. when I confronted him he denied it at first but later confessed when he was sure that I knew exactly what was going on. Anyway, he stopped all contact with her and appologized, we had a lot of unpleasant talks about the situation. Eventually, I decided to give him a second chance. I feel like we're not close as we used to be, I'm still mad about what he did even after 2 months. Things between us aren't as tight as they were before. He said he never got physical with this girl and never met with her alone, but I can't help but picture them together and............makes me sick!!! I'm also interested in seeing other people after what he did, but I just can't let him go. Am I stupid or crazy for giving this guy a second chance??? I'd really appreciate anybody's advice on this. Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 I don't believe in giving second chances to cheaters. You do yourself a disservice by doing so (you deserve better than a no good cheater). And in the long run you're doing them a disservice because they won't learn from their mistakes if they're never held accountable. The only way to truly make a cheater accountable for their mistake is to dump their sorry butt. Link to post Share on other sites
ATrain Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 Hi..I know EXACTLY how you feel. I had the same situation with my EX. She lied to me repeatedly about talking to an ex-coworker who was very interested in her. I gave her numerous 2nd chances and in the end it didn't work out. I looked at her email and saw that she hadn't cut it off. When I confronted her on it she just denied it time and time again till I told her that I saw the email. Our relationship ended because of this. While I'm still in a lot of pain over this, I know that I could never trust her and that this is for the best. Althoug I still have feelings for her I know that she would have disrepespected me time and time again. You have to do some some serious thinking here. He has the ability to lie right to your face. That is scary. I know what you mean when you say you're not ready to let go..I was the same way. I wasn't even the one who ended my relationship. I was so in love with her I just couldn't let go. Try to look at this logically. He is a liar, if he can lie to you about this, how can you ever trust him? Do you want to go through your day to day life wondering what he is doing? Who he is talking to? I did this and it was torture. So, speaking from personal experience I'd advise you to get out..at least for a little while. Go out with your firends, maybe go on a few dates. Just see what is out there for you. I wish you the best and good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 I too wonder why you would give someone a second chance who has shown he is not ready to be in a committed relationship. If you can cheat, if you feel you need to cheat, you have no business being committed to someone. IIWY, I would take a good, long break from him. You will never have a healthy relationship as long as you don't trust him. For that to happen you would have to forgive him completely and LET GO of the past. Unless you're sure you can do that now, I would not recommend a second chance at this time. Link to post Share on other sites
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