5 months into my 2nd chance but...

[starlight2025]

I am 5 months into my 2nd chance with my ex. She broke up with me and came back just before thanksgiving. I was clingy in the old relationship and I have used the time that we were apart to reprogram my mind & correct my clinginess. As a result we have gotten along alot better. I have my own hobbies & activites that don't invovlve her. I also hang out with my friends more. I don't call her everyday like I use to. I call about twice a week usually. I see her about once every 10 days on average.

 

It was valentine's day that I proposed to her & we got engaged. Now it's April and I'm not so sure about marriage in general. I'm just not into marriage as I use to. Just the idea of going on a honeymoon makes me nervous. The thought of her taking my last name makes me nervous. It's not that I'm not sure about her. I'm tired of dating around. I have no interest in dating anyone else. Nobody else would be interested in dating me either. If we break up again I think I'll remain single for the rest of my life. So it's not that I think I'll find someone I like better. If anything I feel she's the best there is for me.

 

I'm really not as into her sexually as I use to be. We only have sex on special occasions. I personally prefer masturbation because I get more pleasure from it than sex. These days I feel like I'm having sex with her as a favor to her and not because I enjoy it.

 

I've read Caliguy's thread about how most 2nd chances fail after 6 months according to statistics. Well I have 1 more month to go before I know whether or not I'm a statistic. But I am thinking of ending it with her myself.

[chocolate_boy]

I don't envy you cos I know that feeling well, however having felt that before and ended it, then a few months later regretted it, you need to look and think, do you feel like this cos you're bored, or cos you don't love her?

 

You need to do some soulsearching so you don't make a mistake.

[CaliGuy]

I am 5 months into my 2nd chance with my ex. She broke up with me and came back just before thanksgiving. I was clingy in the old relationship and I have used the time that we were apart to reprogram my mind & correct my clinginess. As a result we have gotten along alot better. I have my own hobbies & activites that don't invovlve her. I also hang out with my friends more. I don't call her everyday like I use to. I call about twice a week usually. I see her about once every 10 days on average.

 

It was valentine's day that I proposed to her & we got engaged. Now it's April and I'm not so sure about marriage in general. I'm just not into marriage as I use to. Just the idea of going on a honeymoon makes me nervous. The thought of her taking my last name makes me nervous. It's not that I'm not sure about her. I'm tired of dating around. I have no interest in dating anyone else. Nobody else would be interested in dating me either. If we break up again I think I'll remain single for the rest of my life. So it's not that I think I'll find someone I like better. If anything I feel she's the best there is for me.

 

I'm really not as into her sexually as I use to be. We only have sex on special occasions. I personally prefer masturbation because I get more pleasure from it than sex. These days I feel like I'm having sex with her as a favor to her and not because I enjoy it.

 

I've read Caliguy's thread about how most 2nd chances fail after 6 months according to statistics. Well I have 1 more month to go before I know whether or not I'm a statistic. But I am thinking of ending it with her myself.

 

Do you both communicate well? What has changed about her?

 

If I had to guess, you have grown as a person and there's something about her now that you don't like?

 

What's scaring you about marriage? If you truly love her, deeply and unconditionally and she feels the same then don't rush to get married. Wait it out some more.

 

I do suggest searching your feelings for why you feel this way. What has changed? What's different now?

 

I do believe people go through phases but it all starts with communication.