sungrl Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 I have been with my b/f for a year. I admit I am a cautious type of person with a lot of people so at times it is hard for me to judge if I am being rational. That is why i am posting. We were driving to his place and about to enter the driveway and we see an envelope sticking half way and vertically out of the box. It was pretty much hanging there as opposed to being placed in the mailbox and the top of it being closed so it doesn't get lost. He said looks like I got mail but to me it looked weird. If it was delivered by a mail man wouldn't he have placed it inside the box instead of leaving it half way out? When we got out of the car, we had groceries in our hands but he still was not so quick to grab the piece of mail. As he is opening the door i go back to get more stuff and so did he. I walked passed him and the envelope and went inside. Later on when i was sitting down to eat, he places a piece of mail on the table that was from the cable company. When I saw the envelope sticking out in the mailbox, I could not see any writing on the part that was out so it was hard for me to determine who it was from. For some reason, when i saw that I thought it was from some girl or something. And then i thought he hid the piece of mail. Is it uncommon for mailmen to do that--to place mail hanging out where you can visually see it as opposed to placing it inside the box? I even asked him that and he just kind of shrugged his shoulders about it. Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 I think this is not something for you to be concerned about. Maybe the mailman didn't close the box good enough? We have gotten mail before and our mail box was actaully open from where the mailman didn't close it good, big deal. The mail in question was it the cable bill that he laid on the table or was something he didn't show you? If you're curious about it, ask him. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
Author sungrl Posted April 14, 2006 Author Share Posted April 14, 2006 when I saw the bill on the table, I did ask--that was the mail you got and he said yes. I guess it may seem a little far-fetched that some girl wrote him a letter and personally placed it in the mailbox. I don't know why i thought it but it just seems weird to me. And the worst part is is that when he was in the bathroom I was actually just looking at the table to see if anything else was there that would look like a letter and when we were leaving, I was looking to see if maybe he put it on the floor or something to hide it. Link to post Share on other sites
tikigods Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 Why are you so paranoid about this? D oyou believe he is cheating on you? While I don't have a mailbox in front of my house right now I will say that I have gotten tons of ads and whatnots just shoved all over my property (we have teh communial mailbox right now ) that I Wouldn't even give it a second thought. If he has never given you any reason not to trust him then you need to work on your jealousy issues and work on your trust as well, or else you are always going to be jumping at shadows and this relationship will fail Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 Is that the only piece of mail he got, was the cable bill? If he said thats what it was, then thats probably what it was. Do you all live together? If so get him to show you the bill if you're not sure what it is, to maybe put your mind at ease. Are you naturally this paranoid or has he given you reason to think otherwise? Jade Link to post Share on other sites
Author sungrl Posted April 14, 2006 Author Share Posted April 14, 2006 I have caught him in about 2 lies--but i do believe it was to avoid an argument of me getting jealous etc., and it was not because he was cheating on me. Not that i am defending lying because I made it clear I do not like it. I am guilty of the same thing just avoid an argument over something innocent because he might think otherwise. Despite that--he placed the bill on the table opened. Usually the cable bill is placed inside the mail box, not hanging out though. I don't know why i thought the worst. And i actually thought that when i entered the apartment that maybe he placed whatever it was inside the mailbox if it was something he did not want me to see and just took the cable bill out of it which was inside the box already. This all seems a little far fetched though right? That some girl would intentionally place it like that as if it was a love letter or something? Its something I should let go? We do not live together by the way. His bills are his own. Link to post Share on other sites
JadeStar Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 I think it might be a good idea to seek some kind of thearpy for yourself on these insecurity issues, because if not, you will drive yourself crazy and probably risk losing your relationship. Might be best to get it under control now. Jade Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 You are overanalyzing this piece of mail to a scary degree. Really, listen to Jade and go talk to someone about this or you'll drive yourself and everyone else nuts. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sungrl Posted April 14, 2006 Author Share Posted April 14, 2006 I do not believe i need therapy just because i am suspicious of something that happened. It's just something that occurred and i felt weird about and i was wondering what others thought--if i am reading too much into the mail being placed where he can visually see it instead opening the box to get it. Link to post Share on other sites
MadDog Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 Later on when i was sitting down to eat, he places a piece of mail on the table that was from the cable company. When I saw the envelope sticking out in the mailbox, I could not see any writing on the part that was out so it was hard for me to determine who it was from. For some reason, when i saw that I thought it was from some girl or something. What the hell? Why would you think it's from a girl? That's pretty damn paranoid if you ask me. So if someone calls and it's one of those people who dialed the wrong number but are rude & just hang up, do you automatically think it's a girl too? Link to post Share on other sites
Author sungrl Posted April 14, 2006 Author Share Posted April 14, 2006 I appreciate your reply and letting me know that i am being paranoid and reading way too much into the situation. Don't you ever get a funny feeling though about something sometimes? Something like that would not see a little off to you? I have never seen that at his mailbox. The mail was always placed inside. And no I do not think that about a phone call and if its a girl who hung up. I guess it just happens sometimes, don't you agree--that despite how secure you are--you can sometimes get these feelings? Link to post Share on other sites
MadDog Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 I guess it just happens sometimes, don't you agree--that despite how secure you are--you can sometimes get these feelings? Sorry, I can't agree. I think if you're secure, you really don't go down that path unless you see something that's really there. These feelings you get are a manifestation of your insecurities. You don't have to be insecure 24/7 to be insecure on some level. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sungrl Posted April 14, 2006 Author Share Posted April 14, 2006 So then I guess for future reference--don't read into little things like this? And make sure something is more concrete before I get suspicious such as his attitude or behavior change towards me, etc.? Link to post Share on other sites
tikigods Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 yes, this was something really really silly to get so bent out of shape about. Link to post Share on other sites
HotCaliGirl Posted April 14, 2006 Share Posted April 14, 2006 What the hell? Why would you think it's from a girl? That's pretty damn paranoid if you ask me. So if someone calls and it's one of those people who dialed the wrong number but are rude & just hang up, do you automatically think it's a girl too? I always do:confused: If he says it was a telemarketer and hangs up or looks on the caller ID and doesn't answer, I also think it was a girl and get upset. It sounds like he took the secret note when you were inside so you wouldn't see otherwise why would he walk past it and not take it when you were both outside? And it's suspicious he would place a cable bill so in your face like to pretend that's what was in the mailbox... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 15, 2006 Share Posted April 15, 2006 great--now i am getting mixed reactions lol... He didn't walk past me, i walked past him and the envelope--i guess not to be nosy and now i feel like i should have been. I don't know if this is adding to my suspicion. This is a day later after this incident. I called him at 5 pm and no answer and then i call at 6:30 and left a message this time because there was still no answer. He calls at almost 7 and says was laying down for a little bit after work and then had to fill out some checks. He called me from the car saying he just left his house and is already coming to pick me up. I got upset when there was no answer at all or no call back for almost 2 hours. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sungrl Posted April 15, 2006 Author Share Posted April 15, 2006 Great--now i am getting mixed reactions. He didn't walk past me. As he was opening the door, he just didn't grab the envelope. I went past him and the envelope i guess to not be nosy and now i wish i had been. Then, the following day-I call him at 5 pm and no answer and then i call at 6:30, leave a message and still no answer. he calls at almost 7 saying he layed down for a little bit after work and then had to fill out some checks and get ready to pick me up. He called from the car saying he is on his way. I don't know why but after the envelope thing--this just adds to my suspicion. What hurts too is that he just met my family and is also inviting me over to his family's house for the holiday. I wish i wasn't as suspicious over this situation, but i can't help that i am. How do i get passed this? Link to post Share on other sites
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