Does it ever end?

[Allalone]

It happend again......... What am I doing wrong, He only hit me once this time but I have been left with a black eye which I have had to cover up. I love him so much... what am I doing wrong?! He keeps promising me and then we argue and it happens again.... he says I push him to it by going on and on.........

 

It all started becuase I think that a condom went missing I am not sure though..... I ask him about it and he was just like I dunno... I just wanted a answer and so I kept asking, he always says I dunno and it bugs me becuase its like he dosent care. should I leave him?

 

Is there anyone that has gone through this and come out the other side and lived happily ever after or come close at least.........?

[lovernotafighter]

i know you know what every ones going to say right? you have to leave him...no one has the right to put there hands on you..regardless of what they say,they won't stop and to blame you is bullsh*t on so many levels...if you pissed him off all he had to do was walk away.

 

no one deserves to be hit..if he loves you he would dream of it..just remember you'll find another man who loves and won't hit you...if you except this behavior it will only get worse.

 

my sister felt just like you and ended up marrying the guy..her nose now looks like a lightening bolt from the many times he has broken it..she has a bulging disk from where he threw her down a flight or stairs and I can't tell you how many black eyes she as had...and she always said "well he promised"

 

once they had children he started on them to..the only reason they broke up was because he..yes HE left her!

 

go before it's to late please.

[Craig]

It happened again......... What am I doing wrong, He only hit me once this time but I have been left with a black eye which I have had to cover up. I love him so much... what am I doing wrong?! He keeps promising me and then we argue and it happens again.... he says I push him to it by going on and on.........

There is no excuse for physical violence in situations like this and you should leave him--even if he "only" (?) hit you once this time. If leaving him is a hard pill to swallow have a look at this post ~ http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=762453#post762453

 

I think the fact that he makes promises, then an argument ensues and it happens again indicates that your relationship is suffering from the presence of "the cycle of violence."

 

http://www.edvp.org/AboutDV/cycle.htm

 

It's textbook, part of most abusive relationships and the only way out of it, practically speaking is to leave the relationship or get hit by a comet. So I think your choices are rather limited.

 

It all started because I think that a condom went missing I am not sure though..... I ask him about it and he was just like I dunno... I just wanted a answer and so I kept asking, he always says I dunno and it bugs me because its like he doesn't care. should I leave him?

 

Is there anyone that has gone through this and come out the other side and lived happily ever after or come close at least.........?

Yeah, yeah there are situations where the abuser sees the light and makes a dramatic and overnight transition into a rational human being. But you'd have better luck trying to win the lottery without buying a ticket than waiting for this to happen.

 

In my experience, I have never seen abuse totally stop. The form of abuse just seems to change. If an abuser is arrested and forced by the courts through a program for abusers they seem to learn from other abusers how to abuse without committing an arrestable offense. In other words they learn how to abuse with out leaving visible evidence.

 

Have a look at these links for more reading...

 

http://www.justicewomen.com/tips_escape.html

http://www.leavingabuse.com/powerwheel.html

http://www.dvirc.org.au/whenlove/checklisttxt.htm

[tikigods]

there is never a happy ending when abuse is invovled, the happy endings only come when you can find the courage and the help that you need to leave that situation.

 

I hope you can do that before you end up in the hospital or worse :/

[cutiepie_Muffet]

Trust me...if a guy sees that u will forgive him everytime he gives u a black eye then he will continue to do this. all my life I watched my mother being abused by my father and then he would appologize and promise never to do it again. She used to disgust me back then becuase she used to believe him. And so it went on and on for 27 years until she just decided to leave him. But what was she left with? Just a cold and emotionless shell of a person. She is in her late 40s and still quite pretty but she does not want to be in another relationship. She loathes all men.