KMGJRS Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 My Fiance has been hiding from me his use of drugs(coccaine, heroine). I recently found out because he did not come home one night because he was out doing it. He finally, eventually, came home all wacked out of it and it was horrible. I am young(19) and hes older(28) so it makes things hard. i guess you could say im a "good girl" when it comes to drugs. Ive never tried any, not even marijuana, so according to him, I have no idea how hard it is to get away from it. I dont know what to do anymore. I thought he was doing good for the past week, but apparently I was wrong. :oHe smoked some coccaine the other night that I did not know about, I did have a gut felling that he had however. I try to talk to him about it and tell him it needs to stop because it is going to tear us apart. I do not want to be a part of that kind of lifestyle. When I bring it up or say something like that, he says "i know, im sorry, i will work on it" He also has a bit of a drinking problem, and if hes drunk he wont listen to me when I try to tell him enough!! I love him so much and thought he was doing so good about staying away from it ever since weve been together! I just dont know what to do anymore, I have tried threatening him saying that if it doesnt stop im out of here, but it hasnt stopped yet and the past month has been up and down!! No matter what I say, it doesnt stop or go away. I dont deserve to put up with it and I know that, but I cant stand the thought of being without him or leaving him. I have had dreams in the past, what my life would be like if I wasnt with him or if I was with someone else, or even back living at home, and I just cant stand it. I love my life away from all the drama back home and all that, but I catn stand this type of life much longer. I just need some advice on what I should do, or can say to him to maybe make things better or work things out!! Can anyone help me here!?!?!? PLEASE!!! Link to post Share on other sites
tikigods Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 He won't change for you. Its plain and simple, he loves his drugs and drinking more then he loves you, and until those priorities change, you are never going to be number 1, or even the thing he cares about hte most. No amount of threats, or talking or anything is going to get him to stop, he has to want to stop and frmo the sound of it he doesn't even want to think about that right now (telling you not to talk about it and not listening to you when you try to get him to stop drinking and the like) You are young, and have plenty of time to find someone that isn't on a path of destruction, if you want to make a real impact, leave him and tell him its the drugs. Then he will figure out if you are more important and check into rehab, or keep using. Right now by staying with him you are showing him that you approve of his actions Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 Picture your fiance on your wedding night, strung out in the hotel bathroom with a needle in his arm. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
littlepiggy1 Posted April 16, 2006 Share Posted April 16, 2006 Leave him, leave him, leave him. Don't just threaten him. Just do it. No good can come of marrying a drug addict, especially one addicted to cocaine and heroine. And if you have any doubts, watch the movie Requiem for a Dream. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
confused6925 Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 My Fiance has been hiding from me his use of drugs(coccaine, heroine). I recently found out because he did not come home one night because he was out doing it. He finally, eventually, came home all wacked out of it and it was horrible. I am young(19) and hes older(28) so it makes things hard. i guess you could say im a "good girl" when it comes to drugs. Ive never tried any, not even marijuana, so according to him, I have no idea how hard it is to get away from it. I dont know what to do anymore. I thought he was doing good for the past week, but apparently I was wrong. :oHe smoked some coccaine the other night that I did not know about, I did have a gut felling that he had however. I try to talk to him about it and tell him it needs to stop because it is going to tear us apart. I do not want to be a part of that kind of lifestyle. When I bring it up or say something like that, he says "i know, im sorry, i will work on it" He also has a bit of a drinking problem, and if hes drunk he wont listen to me when I try to tell him enough!! I love him so much and thought he was doing so good about staying away from it ever since weve been together! I just dont know what to do anymore, I have tried threatening him saying that if it doesnt stop im out of here, but it hasnt stopped yet and the past month has been up and down!! No matter what I say, it doesnt stop or go away. I dont deserve to put up with it and I know that, but I cant stand the thought of being without him or leaving him. I have had dreams in the past, what my life would be like if I wasnt with him or if I was with someone else, or even back living at home, and I just cant stand it. I love my life away from all the drama back home and all that, but I catn stand this type of life much longer. I just need some advice on what I should do, or can say to him to maybe make things better or work things out!! Can anyone help me here!?!?!? PLEASE!!! I'm kind of in the same situation, but my fiance won't admit the drug use to me. i've found a couple things and have seen his eyes dialated, and have heard from people that he's doing coke, yet every time i ask him he denies it. He gets really angry, saying I cant believe you don't trust me. Its a really hard situation. it has put a lot of stress in our relationship, and i don't know where to go from here. I wish i could help you, but i need help in the same department. I love my fiance so much and don't want to loose him. I want the same person back, who i met 4 years ago. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 My Fiance has been hiding from me his use of drugs(coccaine, heroine). I recently found out because he did not come home one night because he was out doing it. He finally, eventually, came home all wacked out of it and it was horrible. I am young(19) and hes older(28) so it makes things hard. i guess you could say im a "good girl" when it comes to drugs. Ive never tried any, not even marijuana, so according to him, I have no idea how hard it is to get away from it. I dont know what to do anymore. I thought he was doing good for the past week, but apparently I was wrong. :oHe smoked some coccaine the other night that I did not know about, I did have a gut felling that he had however. I try to talk to him about it and tell him it needs to stop because it is going to tear us apart. I do not want to be a part of that kind of lifestyle. When I bring it up or say something like that, he says "i know, im sorry, i will work on it" He also has a bit of a drinking problem, and if hes drunk he wont listen to me when I try to tell him enough!! I love him so much and thought he was doing so good about staying away from it ever since weve been together! I just dont know what to do anymore, I have tried threatening him saying that if it doesnt stop im out of here, but it hasnt stopped yet and the past month has been up and down!! No matter what I say, it doesnt stop or go away. I dont deserve to put up with it and I know that, but I cant stand the thought of being without him or leaving him. I have had dreams in the past, what my life would be like if I wasnt with him or if I was with someone else, or even back living at home, and I just cant stand it. I love my life away from all the drama back home and all that, but I catn stand this type of life much longer. I just need some advice on what I should do, or can say to him to maybe make things better or work things out!! Can anyone help me here!?!?!? PLEASE!!! Go to an alanon meeting. Or at least look it up on google. He wont' change for you. This problem isn't about you and it never was, so you don't have any control over it or any say over it. Link to post Share on other sites
Ladywithafan Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 Leave him, leave him, leave him. Don't just threaten him. Just do it. No good can come of marrying a drug addict, especially one addicted to cocaine and heroine. And if you have any doubts, watch the movie Requiem for a Dream. Good luck. Go check out the website for Cocaineangelmovie... I've been where you're at & it cost me hundreds of thousands in $ and stupidity...you will regret it in the long run... Link to post Share on other sites
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