Is this woman just stupid

[PurpleRain]

I caught my husband with another woman. It took me a while to figure out what was going on. This whore works where he works at. He came home Sat morning around 4 am and tries to tell me he worked over time but I found a rubber in his jean pocket. He and I do not have sex with a rubber.

 

The very next day this woman called his cell phone and I made sure I had his cell phone this time and answered it and she hung up on me. Two hours later she calls and I answer again, she hangs up, then she text message asking "what is going on?" "Are you going to call me?"

 

That BITCH!!!!!

 

I hung on to the phone for the rest of the day, she called and hung up and I called her back, I ask who she was , she asked back, who I was and I said I am such and such wife, She acted surprise but I do not buy it. I said YES I AM HIS WIFE! WHY ARE YOU CALLNG MY HUSBAND? She claims that he doesn't claim to have a wife of course I did not believe her for one second about her not knowing, She said something about his friends saying he did not have a wife either she asked all over. Oh what ever.

 

I asked her if she screw my husband and said no. I told her my husband told me he had sex with her. She denies it but I do not believe the little slut!!!!

 

I asked her if he ever bring her to the house. She said no. I said isn't that a big clue? That he may be married? I asked her where do they meet and the little slut would not tell me. I told her I knew they met at night time who in the hell has a date at night time? weee hours in the morning.

I asked her if this is her way of meeting men. She had spouted something out that it was not any of my business how she dates

 

IT IS WHEN IT IS WITH MY MAN!!!!!!

 

She said she had asked him a few times if he was married but he told her he was not married and no one knows of me. I said Oh Really!!

 

It was not until a bit later I figure out she worked with him.

 

How naive can a woman get? If a man does not take you around his house and takes you to a hotel instead HE IS MARRIED!!!!!!!

 

 

 

I found out they met up in a parking lot some where after work. Again how stupid must you be if he does not take you to his house to want to hang out with you? I would think that would be a big clue that he is married!!!

[magda]

Or she knew and did it anyway.

[Adunaphel]

I am sorry that you are going through all this pain.

 

She could be lying, but it's also possible that she really did not suspect that he was married.

 

If he led her to believe he is single, it does not necessarily mean that she is stupid.

 

Some people just assume that if a guy act like he's interested in you, then he must be single. It happens a lot to people who are the non-cheating type.

 

There is a variety of reasons a guy might not take you to his house.

 

Perhaps he never mentioned being married, she might have suspected he was not single but did not really want to know so did not ask.

 

If he lied to her, it is likely that she will be mad at him.

 

It would be interesting to hear *her*side of the story.

Or to have a confrontation.

Of course it is unlikely that she'd agree to a confrontation after you spoke to her that way.

[TheSwordfish]

Why are you mad at her? Is she the one cheating on you?

 

It is your husband betraying you and he is the one to blame. Maybe this isn't his only parking lot sex friend. He did a few really nasty things:

A.Had sex with another woman in a parking lot.

B.He denies your existence to get laid by another woman.

C.He makes his friends and colleages lie about you to make sure the other girl stays with him.

D.He's not only betraying you but he lies to the other woman as well.

 

Sorry to say this, but in my opinion you should be really mad at your husband instead and either kill him or divorce. (do the last thing, he isn't worth the time in jail!)

[Sami_D]

So not only is your H screwing around with another woman... he chose a 'stupid' one (or a fantastic liar). Not sure that makes him any less of a cheat.

 

Why are you directing all your anger at her? What does 'the man himself' have to say?

[Adunaphel]

Why are you mad at her? Is she the one cheating on you?

 

It is your husband betraying you and he is the one to blame. Maybe this isn't his only parking lot sex friend. He did a few really nasty things:

A.Had sex with another woman in a parking lot.

B.He denies your existence to get laid by another woman.

C.He makes his friends and colleages lie about you to make sure the other girl stays with him.

D.He's not only betraying you but he lies to the other woman as well.

 

Sorry to say this, but in my opinion you should be really mad at your husband instead and either kill him or divorce. (do the last thing, he isn't worth the time in jail!)

 

I think it's normal and understandable that the OP is mad at the OW (who wouldn't? getting mad and calling her a slut -even if she might not deserve it- it's just a natural reaction).

 

It's likely that she was just venting, and venting on a forum can help to let go of some anger but what is really important is that she keeps in mind that (like you said), it's her H who cheated on her.

 

It's much easier to get mad at the OW or OM in such situations, but it's important not to shift the blame on the wrong person to the point where you self-delude yourself that "had it not been for the OW, H would not have cheated".

 

Knowing how things actually went might perhaps make a small difference - a woman knowing that your H is married to you who does everything in her power to seduce him and finally manages to is not the same thing as your H pursuing a coworker and lying to all common acquaintances about his status. Unfortunately, though, it's still him the one who took the marriage vows.

 

Purple rain, is it the very first time you catch your H cheating on you?

What are you planning to do?

[hyakku]

I caught my husband with another woman. It took me a while to figure out what was going on. This whore works where he works at. He came home Sat morning around 4 am and tries to tell me he worked over time but I found a rubber in his jean pocket. He and I do not have sex with a rubber.

 

The very next day this woman called his cell phone and I made sure I had his cell phone this time and answered it and she hung up on me. Two hours later she calls and I answer again, she hangs up, then she text message asking "what is going on?" "Are you going to call me?"

 

That BITCH!!!!!

 

I hung on to the phone for the rest of the day, she called and hung up and I called her back, I ask who she was , she asked back, who I was and I said I am such and such wife, She acted surprise but I do not buy it. I said YES I AM HIS WIFE! WHY ARE YOU CALLNG MY HUSBAND? She claims that he doesn't claim to have a wife of course I did not believe her for one second about her not knowing, She said something about his friends saying he did not have a wife either she asked all over. Oh what ever.

 

I asked her if she screw my husband and said no. I told her my husband told me he had sex with her. She denies it but I do not believe the little slut!!!!

 

I asked her if he ever bring her to the house. She said no. I said isn't that a big clue? That he may be married? I asked her where do they meet and the little slut would not tell me. I told her I knew they met at night time who in the hell has a date at night time? weee hours in the morning.

I asked her if this is her way of meeting men. She had spouted something out that it was not any of my business how she dates

 

IT IS WHEN IT IS WITH MY MAN!!!!!!

 

She said she had asked him a few times if he was married but he told her he was not married and no one knows of me. I said Oh Really!!

 

It was not until a bit later I figure out she worked with him.

 

How naive can a woman get? If a man does not take you around his house and takes you to a hotel instead HE IS MARRIED!!!!!!!

 

 

 

I found out they met up in a parking lot some where after work. Again how stupid must you be if he does not take you to his house to want to hang out with you? I would think that would be a big clue that he is married!!!

 

Hey! Hey! Look over here! Yea right here!

 

What the hell are you whining about the WOMAN for? Even if she KNEW you were married, it was your husbands conscious choice to have sex with her. Personally I look at it the same way, unless I know the other person, if I feel the woman is worth it than I will still treat it like I do every other woman. Sometimes women dont even bring up other guys, and sometimes they just bring them up because they feel once they mention their SO, if anything happens they don't feel as guilty (ladies I'm still trying to figure this one out), I mean I've had women tell me, that they feel bad because they want me because of something their man can't offer, am I suppose to go, "Oh well hey, go back to that unfulfilling relationship I'm sure its more fun!". Hell no, I'm a fun and great guy, they know if they are with me they are going to enjoy themselves, if something intimate or romantic happens and they are with someone, NONE of my concern, they make the choice, I don't force them.

 

This woman did not force your husband to have sex with her. Don't get angry at her. Divorce the man and get back out in the dating world.

[My_Other_I]

Maybe he came up with some horror roomate stories. Or maybe she knew. Also, you should direct your anger towards your husband, he is the one who had promised you faithfullness, and therefore he is the one lying to you.

[whichwayisup]

Direct that anger at your husband. Yes, she was a part of him cheating, but who knows if she knew or not if he was married, but still, HE is the one who betrayed YOU. He is YOUR husband. HE owes YOU the truth, even if it hurts you more than you're hurting now because not knowing what is really going on behind your back is going to drive you crazy.

[catgirl1927]

I agree with everyone else - the person at fault here is your husband, not this admittedly less than bright woman. I wouldn't even engage her. In reality, it doesn't matter who she is. If he's cheating, it has very little to do with her. She could have been anyone. The problem is with him. I would divorce him, without hesitation.

[tigger]

Your husband is at fault - but so it the other woman. I have no doubt she knew he was married! Women suck....I will never trust another woman again in my entire life - they are pathetic devious creatures.

 

Now, onto your husband, HE'S A PRICK and I would get out of that relationship as soon as you can. I feel your pain, and empathize with you and your hatred of this woman, but right now, let her go and DUMP HIM!

[My_Other_I]

they are pathetic devious creatures.

 

This goes both ways, you know.

[tigger]

I should have stated - I'm a female. My best friend had an affair with my boyfriend of 13 years.

 

I trusted her with everything, did my best to help her through bad situations, which included ending an affair of 4 years with a psycho cop.

 

I did generalize, and I shouldn't have - because I know I would never do that to another human being, and I'm sure there are many of us out there who wouldn't.

[My_Other_I]

I should have stated - I'm a female. My best friend had an affair with my boyfriend of 13 years.

 

I trusted her with everything, did my best to help her through bad situations, which included ending an affair of 4 years with a psycho cop.

 

I did generalize, and I shouldn't have - because I know I would never do that to another human being, and I'm sure there are many of us out there who wouldn't.

I am sorry to hear that. He betrayed you, too, not just her. Women can be as vicious as men can be, and vice versa. I'm not sure which one is worse, the betrayal coming from your friend, or your bf. They were both supposed to be your friends, be there for you.

Sorry for your heartache.

[Tara1973]

You're getting angry at the wrong person. Your husband had a choice. I have just been cheated on and am going through a lot of pain after the OW called me in my home to tell me. She was in tears. I sympathized. I have learnt that the OW is as much of a victim as you are. She is probably in love with him and remember no matter what the circumstances, to be rejected in love is the worst kind of hurt.

The fact here is not that she is stupid. Not one little bit. HE CHEATED ON YOU OUT OF CHOICE! Do yourself a favour...next time she calls, stay calm and talk to her.Listen to what she has to say.

I, like you, am a betrayed spouse and like you, I was betrayed by HIM not the OW.

Think about that.

[aleatoryd]

I think the other posters said it best - whether this was just one woman, stupid woman, a liar, hooker, teacher, workmate, one night stand, many women - it doesn't matter. What DOES matter is that your husband doesn't respect you, has betrayed your trust, and thankfully has been caught out.

 

My question is how has he reacted or haven't you told him you know/ While it would be interesting to hear his side of the story if only to guage how much of a liar he is "dear a woman keeps calling your number" and see what he says. Realistically the marriage is over unless you want to stay with a cheat who will sleep with you if he can't find anyone else. I think you need to get a divorce and take him to the cleaners.

[RecordProducer]

PurpleRain, of course she KNEW he was married! Imagine that she thought they were dating as two single people... so she calls his cell and a female voice answers. She is his girlfriend, right? Why the hell would she hang up?! She would say: "Hello, this is XY, is Z around or did I get the wrong number?"

 

She hung up because she knew. So your husband DID tell her he was married. Yet, the others are right that you need to blame him solely. This woman is of no concern of your whatsoever. You're not married to her, you're married to him.

[Curmudgeon]

So, now that you've ranted and raved at and about her, what are you going to do about your husband. That should be Job 1.

[confusedlady]

I'm sure that she knew that he was married. I have been the OW as well similar to your story. Him & I work together he was the one to pursue me by asking me out to lunch etc. I knew from the first lunch that we had that he was married I was also warned by other co-workers since I started that job to not fall for his romantic lines but I didn't listen to them. He also knew that I was married I guess this was perfect for both of us.

 

Well the A continued for a year until like you last month his W answered his phone and than she caught him. She too asked me questions but I refused to answer them and referred her to her H. It's been 2 months and she sometimes still call me of course she's really upset and just wants to vent and of course only blames me for the A. But like I tell her I never had a gun next to your H head while he was having sex with me it was all consentual. I have trouble understanding how the BS only blame the OW/OM and let their H/W get away with it. Like everyone else said he is the one that betrayed your trust not us.

 

And how can you still trust him and continue to believe his lies. I see that firsthand in my case his W thinks that we are NC but little does she know what is really going on. It's hillareous that she calls me and tells not to go after him because he is not interested in me anymore and that if I go & stand in front of his office that he will turn away. Yeah right again little does she knows that I soon as she hangs off the phone with me him & I are talking about the conversation that I just had with her. The only days that we go NC are on the weekends.

 

At one point I did feel like telling her the whole truth since I'm sure that he hasn't done that but than again she is so blind that she would never believe it and frankly I don't care anymore whether she knows or not. She will always be clueless as to what really happened or is still happening.

 

So for all of you BS think twice if you really want to stay with your cheating spouses because they might pretend to you that they are changing and are sorry for their actions but just remember that saying "Once a cheater always a cheater". They might stop for a while but eventually we are who we are. And also remember this "When their is a will their is a way". Don't just stay in the marriage for the kids, family, "what other people will say" etc. look deeper inside of you and ask yourself if you can ever be happy again with this person.

 

DON'T blame anyone else but him. He had a choice and he made it.

[2sunny]

Seems to me that HE knew HE was married!

 

Dump him!

[hyakku]

And how can you still trust him and continue to believe his lies. I see that firsthand in my case his W thinks that we are NC but little does she know what is really going on. It's hillareous that she calls me and tells not to go after him because he is not interested in me anymore and that if I go & stand in front of his office that he will turn away. Yeah right again little does she knows that I soon as she hangs off the phone with me him & I are talking about the conversation that I just had with her. The only days that we go NC are on the weekends.

 

I found this part particularly funny because I can picture her actually saying that and you just smiling and hanging up and calling her H and telling him lol.

 

And no I'm not being sarcastic, this lady obviously is completely oblivious to her own errors of not tossing out her husband, so why should YOU have to walk her through life ?

[TerriSoDarey]

The very next day this woman called his cell phone and I made sure I had his cell phone this time and answered it

You made sure you had his cell phone this day after finding a rubber in his pocket. So how many times did you have to take your husbands cell phone away from him for a woman calling him? It sounds like to me this hasn’t been the first time and this probably isn’t his first woman he has been with.

 

How many other times have you had to take his cell phone away from him?

and she hung up on me. Two hours later she calls and I answer again, she hangs up, then she text message asking "what is going on?" "Are you going to call me?"

You really do not define if this is the first time you ever heard from her, is this the only time you found out she was calling him on his cell phone and did she call daily or not or if after this she stopped calling. If she stopped calling I am pretty much betting she did not know that he was married and he fed her a whole bunch of lies that he was not married.

 

That BITCH!!!!!

 

I hung on to the phone for the rest of the day, she called and hung up and I called her back, I ask who she was , she asked back, who I was

 

and I said I am such and such wife, She acted surprise but I do not buy it. I said YES I AM HIS WIFE! WHY ARE YOU CALLNG MY HUSBAND? She claims that he doesn't claim to have a wife of course I did not believe her

Of course you didn’t. Why would you? You are a scorn woman now. You just found out your husband cheated on you and in fact plug his wad into her wad.

for one second about her not knowing, She said something about his friends saying he did not have a wife either she asked all over. Oh what ever.

She knows his friends and asked all over. That would be a clue she was some where close like WORK! Again why would you believe what she said?

 

 

I asked her if she screw my husband and said no. I told her my husband told me he had sex with her. She denies it but I do not believe the little slut!!!!

Of course she said no. Do you think she is going to admit to a scorn woman that she humped her husband? Much less if she did have any decency about her and just found out she screw a married man she isn’t about to admit up to it at first.

 

Seriously?

 

 

I asked her if he ever bring her to the house. She said no. I said isn't that a big clue? That he may be married? I asked her where do they meet and the little slut would not tell me. I told her I knew they met at night time who in the hell has a date at night time? weee hours in the morning.

I asked her if this is her way of meeting men. She had spouted something out that it was not any of my business how she dates

Now this whole thought isn’t even logical. A man who brings a woman to the house or not is not going to tell the woman anything. I had this little experience once dating a man that lied about being married brought me to his house and everything. I been to his house 4 different times before I found out he was actually married. Apparently he brought me to the house with is wife was at work. So it would not matter if he did or did not bring her to the house it would not tell her anything.

 

Meeting someone after work is not odd either. Even if it is at 9 or 10pm. You can’t get to know each other at work and it would only be natural to go to a restaurant or park and chat together for a bit The only bad thing that is going on here is your husband is playing the single life.

 

She said she had asked him a few times if he was married but he told her he was not married and no one knows of me. I said Oh Really!!

Yea! You brought this up earlier in your post it makes me think even more that this girl was played by your husband.

 

 

How naive can a woman get? If a man does not take you around his house and takes you to a hotel instead HE IS MARRIED!!!!!!!

I have to ask how naïve can you get? The house means nothing. I am not sure why the hotel thing but if he was smooth enough to get her believe he was single he probably knew how to swoon her right into a hotel room.

 

How did you find out they were in a hotel room? Did you find it on a credit card bill?

How did the relationship get started according to your husband’s story?

Who really pursue who? I am betting it is your husband pursuing other women considering you probably had to take his little cell phone toy away from him more then one time. I doubt this has been the first time.

 

( this is pretty much a classic move from a woman who had to deal with this more then once thinking taking his cell phone away from him will break the connection with the other women, maybe in your mind it scares off the other women wondering what is going on , on the other side. This technique only works so long before you finely run into a woman who thinks your marriage is not working out and your silly little attentics are not going to stop her. She already knows that your marriage is in trouble.)

 

If this is the case do yourself the favor and save yourself a lot of trouble and get a divorce. You are on his Sh*T go-round

[mental_traveller]

I've never been married, but I generally don't invite women back to my place unless I am considering them as a serious gf. If I'm just banging a girl for fun then I'll never take her back to mine.

 

So no, she didn't necessarily know. Not all guys who act like that are married.

 

Oh btw if she's a slut what is your husband?