Can someone do the math?

[Baltimore32]

Hi all,

I am totally at a loss on this matter and at the age of 32, I am feeling very stupid and naiive...I just don't get what I am doing wrong. How do I get to the bottom of this and find out the truth for sure?

 

Facts: We are both in our early 30's. We live 45 minutes away from each other and because of our schedules we see each other maybe twice a week which is not much quality time with one another but we do our best by talking to one another daily. Because of some of my past experiences with being cheated on, I asked this man upfront at the beginning whether or not he was involved with someone else. His answer was NO. I simply told him that I don't mind casually dating, but I don't entertain men who have girlfriends or wives. He assured me that he was 100% available. Therefore, I felt comfortable to proceed with dating this man..then we decided to define our relationship and decided to date eachother exclusively. This was a mutual agreement. We have been dating for 6 months now and still something does not seem right. I have my suspicions based on some of his actions,change in routines, that he is spending his time with someone else. There are things that he used to do on a consistent basis that he has stopped doing. So, about a month ago, I asked him AGAIN if he was seeing someone else--his answer was NO. wanted to ask him and give him the benefit of the doubt instead of jumping to conclusions. Basically, he told me that if he's dating one person then he's not dating another person because he wants to give that person he's seeing a fair chance. (Well..I am beginning to think that he's full of crap) Being mature and realizing that perhaps the distance is causing a problem.. I asked him if he wanted to stop dating eachother exclusively and just open things up to see other people. (that was a tough call for me, but I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with me.) So, I asked him AGAIN--whether or not he wanted to continue to date me on an exclusive level, his answer was YES. So, after that conversation, he started to be more attentive etc...however, something still remains unsettled with me...This man has gone as far as to take me to meet his family etc...(they are wonderful--but I am beginning to question whether or not he is) I really like this guy and want things to progress, but I just don't want to be lied to--especially when there is no reason for it.. I gave him plenty of opportunities to open this up to see other people..but he has not taken them. However, he turns his cell phone and house phone off when I am around; He says he's going to call me back and he doesn't--when I go by his house--he's not home. He is always claiming that he's tired--it can't be from me--because I am not the one working him out...He doesn't spend time with me on the weekends anymore..always claims that he's working. Goes to movies and does not tell me about them unless he slips in conversation--just the usual stuff...BUT STILL he is not seeing other people etc...HMMM! Can someone do the math on this for me?

 

I have been trying hard not to sabotage this relationship by feeding into my insecurities etc...but things just don't feel right..and all I want from him is the damn TRUTH! I have no problem casually dating this man--atleast I know that I will be free to test other flavors...however, when I am exclusive with someone, I honor that committment to be exclusive and really put my all into working at the relationship. I just don't understand why a man would commit himself to being exclusive with a woman if he really wants to date other people and NOT TO MENTION, I have given him several opportunities to get out of the exclusive arrangement.. which means for him he could continue to date me and other women...Isn't that how casually dating someone works? What am I missing here?

 

So,my dilemma is What should I do--when I have confronted this man on numerous occasions...about our relationship--He says he wants IN-but his actions are not saying so... Do I confront him again---OR do I just blow him off and start seeing other people? This time, I asked and not assumed and STILL--I am getting the runaround...

 

Any suggestions?