married man?

[Guest]

Where do I start....We met online in a common interest chat room...

It started out as a friendship, all along I knew he was married, he was not hiding anything. One night it was late only a few chatters were left and he bagan speaking of his marriage, and its problems, he felt torn as to stay married for the child or get divorced, but his marriage was basically over as a marriage. He and his wife were mere roomates out of convenience for financial reasons and also they felt it better for the child.

I was actually trying to save the marriage and suggesting things he could do to make it better, only to find out that his wife is mentally unstable, and is manic depressive. She is unable to fend for herself nor support herself.

To make a long story short we ended up falling in love because I could give him what his wife could not which was warmth, support and deep friendship.

While I know this all sounds familier to everyone here...this is where the twist comes in...

She ended up finding out about us, and her reaction was as far as I am concerned unbelievably strange, she said she did not care one bit, as long as he did not divorce her. She was actually happy and has never been so content. She knows she can not take care of herself, or perhaps she knows now that she can take him to the "cleaners" when they do decide to split, which he knows is inevitable.

Now here comes something even odder, what do I want out of this relationship? Well..to be honest I am not young, I do not want more kids, I do not wish to move, or get married anytime soon.

If he were to divorce her right now he would most certainly be broke financially and he would have nearly sole custody of the child. A tough situation for anyone to handle, particularly a man, since most men base their happiness on financial stability and their level of success. And while that is not very romantic, it is also a reality.

He is still trying to figure out how to get a divorce that will be somewhat less painful for her and his child. But we all know that all divorces are painful, in one way or the other. I respect him for that not hate him, we have talked for hours about all of this in a logical and mature manner.

Yes I am the "other" woman and yes I am OK that he is married but I also know that while she has a marriage certificate I have him. If my life never changed from the way it is now, I would die a happy and loved woman.

Do I think he is a scumbag for doing this, not at all, I think he needed to save his own soul from his own toxic marriage, and some how or another my affair has given his life balance, his love for me has also given me balance in my own life. Do I think "love" moves mountains, No and why because while we all love "love" there is also reality. I think ALL relationships are give and take, I am still trying to figure out what I have given up for this one and so far I have come up empty. We meet once a month for a weekend and have a wonderful time together. As we both like to put it we have a "special arrangement" and so far that arrangement has worked out for both of us. As far as a future for us its way too soon to be talking about it even though we have, we are still in the "lets get to know each other better" mode.

So my question for you is, have any of you ever heard of this before?