For Tony

[Maria (sad)]

Hi Tony,

 

just wanted to let you know that I did what you said. I told him how I felt.

 

here is the email i send him today..

 

I just want to tell you one thing. It is possible that I won't be taking the job offer at PG & E, which means that I might not be riding the bus. But I have been meaning to tell you something that I really don't know how you are going to take it. But I have to get out of my system so here it goes. I think you have noticed that I like you; I like you in a different way that you like me. I like you in a good way, you like me as a friend and

 

yeah sexually. So I think that me not riding the bus anymore will be hard b/c I wont get to see you everyday. I had told you before that I did not want to be just a sexual friend to you, I know I contradict myself b/c I do

 

let you touch me and things like that, which I should not allow but I can't help it b/c I do like you. And I just did not want you think that I let any guy touch me the way I let you. I am not like that at all. I know you told me before that you have no time for anything serious with me, which I know b/c I also commute, but that does

 

not mean that we can't give it a try. I mean if you really wanted to

 

date me. I am not the type of girl that wants her man with her all the time; I understand that he has his own life and responsibilities. I understand that I can only see him, when he has the time. So that brings me to my question,

 

do you want to try dating or you don't? If you don't it will be ok. We could still be friends. But I have always been the type of person that does not say what I feel and sometimes b/c of that I miss out in things. That

 

is why I had to tell you. So think about it and let me know what you think ok.

 

and here is his answer.....

 

hi,

 

i understand how you feel about me, thanks for being honest. i like you too, you're a very nice beautiful person. i'm attracted to you for who you are and i also am attracted to your beautiful body. i'll be honest with you

 

too since you were with me. at the moment, i am not ready personally for a relationship. i feel like i should be dating more at the moment, get a feel for what's out there before i get too involved with one person again. going

 

thru one divorce was enough for me, especially for what my daughter is going thru now. i want to meet more people, get to know different ways to make sure personally what i want. this is why i am not ready for a relationship.

 

i would much rather go on dates every once in a while and not be committed to anyone. when i was in the military i didn't have much time to date, i was always on the move. now that i'm out, i have time to date and that is

 

what i would rather do first. i hope i made sense to you and that you don't take this personally. by the way, i'm still waiting for you to come over so you can try and cook me something...and i'll pay my dues on the massage i

 

owe you.

 

So I guess all I have to do next is throw in the towel and move on....what else is there to do. Thank You Tony for your advice, you must be a really happy person and you must make some one so happy and in love. Thank You!

[yes]

Hey Maria

 

I dunna if this will be of any help - but i am in a similar situation ... i like a guy, he likes me, but he doesnt want anything more than a casual reln-ship ...

 

i was also about it for a bit, but then i thought

 

1- THANK GOD he was honest about it

 

2- it is not such a bad thing - u got a guy to go on dates with now n then, and u also got your freedom! isnt that great? u can keep looking, and also have someone to have an occasional fun with inbetween your other guys ...

 

so it's not so bad, after all

 

Good luck!!

Hi Tony, just wanted to let you know that I did what you said. I told him how I felt. here is the email i send him today.. I just want to tell you one thing. It is possible that I won't be taking the job offer at PG & E, which means that I might not be riding the bus. But I have been meaning to tell you something that I really don't know how you are going to take it. But I have to get out of my system so here it goes. I think you have noticed that I like you; I like you in a different way that you like me. I like you in a good way, you like me as a friend and yeah sexually. So I think that me not riding the bus anymore will be hard b/c I wont get to see you everyday. I had told you before that I did not want to be just a sexual friend to you, I know I contradict myself b/c I do let you touch me and things like that, which I should not allow but I can't help it b/c I do like you. And I just did not want you think that I let any guy touch me the way I let you. I am not like that at all. I know you told me before that you have no time for anything serious with me, which I know b/c I also commute, but that does not mean that we can't give it a try. I mean if you really wanted to date me. I am not the type of girl that wants her man with her all the time; I understand that he has his own life and responsibilities. I understand that I can only see him, when he has the time. So that brings me to my question, do you want to try dating or you don't? If you don't it will be ok. We could still be friends. But I have always been the type of person that does not say what I feel and sometimes b/c of that I miss out in things. That is why I had to tell you. So think about it and let me know what you think ok. and here is his answer..... hi, i understand how you feel about me, thanks for being honest. i like you too, you're a very nice beautiful person. i'm attracted to you for who you are and i also am attracted to your beautiful body. i'll be honest with you too since you were with me. at the moment, i am not ready personally for a relationship. i feel like i should be dating more at the moment, get a feel for what's out there before i get too involved with one person again. going thru one divorce was enough for me, especially for what my daughter is going thru now. i want to meet more people, get to know different ways to make sure personally what i want. this is why i am not ready for a relationship. i would much rather go on dates every once in a while and not be committed to anyone. when i was in the military i didn't have much time to date, i was always on the move. now that i'm out, i have time to date and that is what i would rather do first. i hope i made sense to you and that you don't take this personally. by the way, i'm still waiting for you to come over so you can try and cook me something...and i'll pay my dues on the massage i owe you. So I guess all I have to do next is throw in the towel and move on....what else is there to do. Thank You Tony for your advice, you must be a really happy person and you must make some one so happy and in love. Thank You!

[Tony T]

When he said he wanted to "get a feel for what's out there" he meant that pretty literally (lol).

 

It's great that you have gotten to see exactly what's on his mind. You really should have talked to him in person but at this point it's too late. In the future, don't ever use email to discuss personal relationship issues. It's just not the proper way to do it.

 

You have the facts. If you can't stand competition and don't want to date him along with others, you have no choice but to hit the road. If you don't think you can emotionally handle him dating other people as well, chalk this one up to experience.

 

Always be honest with your feelings but use good judgement in how and when you tell them.

 

Glad you got all this out in the open.

[maria]

Thanks for the advice...i will sure do that. i just dont know if i could handle just that..i really like him

Hey Maria I dunna if this will be of any help - but i am in a similar situation ... i like a guy, he likes me, but he doesnt want anything more than a casual reln-ship ... i was also about it for a bit, but then i thought 1- THANK GOD he was honest about it 2- it is not such a bad thing - u got a guy to go on dates with now n then, and u also got your freedom! isnt that great? u can keep looking, and also have someone to have an occasional fun with inbetween your other guys ... so it's not so bad, after all Good luck!!

[maria]

Tony thank you soooo much...you are great....the hard part is yet to come, when he calls i will have to pretend to be busy, as i try to forget what i feel for him...

When he said he wanted to "get a feel for what's out there" he meant that pretty literally (lol). It's great that you have gotten to see exactly what's on his mind. You really should have talked to him in person but at this point it's too late. In the future, don't ever use email to discuss personal relationship issues. It's just not the proper way to do it. You have the facts. If you can't stand competition and don't want to date him along with others, you have no choice but to hit the road. If you don't think you can emotionally handle him dating other people as well, chalk this one up to experience.

 

Always be honest with your feelings but use good judgement in how and when you tell them.

 

Glad you got all this out in the open.