How can he get over me !!

[helpless!]

i've been with my b/f for more than a year now ,we had

 

lots of good and happy memories together , he loved me

 

soo much and still he loves me deeply !

 

but the main pro that he's younger than me! i'm about to

 

be 20 and he's still 17 years old!

 

lately i've been thinking of getting married and make

 

a family! i want to get married to some one who's older than me and to whom my family will accept him .. this thought is controling my mind and weakened my love to my b/f !

 

i know i made such a big mistake to have started this

 

relationship while i knew very well that we would have

 

no future together! now i feel so bad to leave him

 

while he still needs me soo much !

 

he's a depressed guy who never felt love from his parents,

 

he's kind of sick when he does some crazy things and hurt him self when ever he feels hurt! he already burned him self

 

just when he knew that i decided to end this relationship!

 

he went crazy and became more attached to me!

 

i feel so sorry for him and so afraid he will

 

do other crazy things ! so i told him that i would

 

still be with him just because he still needs me desperately but then one day he'll have to let me leave !

 

he just CAN'T accept the thought of leaving me ...

 

i really don't know what to do to help him ?

 

what shall i do to make him get over me !?

[Tony T]

It is very wrong for you to be with him because you feel sorry for him. It is wrong for him to hold you hostage lest he harm himself. It is wrong for the both of you to be in a relationship where one prefers to move on and be with someone else. This entire relationship is sick and needs to be terminated immediately.

 

See if there's some way you can get this guy help from mental health counsellors in your town...or get him to a counsellor or psychologist for help.

 

Beyond doing that, you have no obligation to him whatsoever.

 

Do what you can Monday to line up some help for him, perhaps even call authorities and express your fear about what he may do to himself and ask them for recommendations. By Tuesday, end the relationship in whatever way you feel is appropriate.

 

It will NOT be good for you to continue contact of any kind with him. This will only make matters worse. No phone calls, no email, no messages, no nothing. And do not respond to any form of communication he may get through to you.

 

But please remember, his past, his behavior, his personality, etc. are no fault of your own. The fact that you remained with him for a period of time has no bearing on his mental state. People with this age difference date all the time.

 

His mental condition and immaturity alone are solid grounds for getting away from him as soon as possible. You do not deserve to be around anyone this unstable. It is also in no way your responsibility to get him help. Do this out of kindness but don't go overboard. Just be sure to inform authorities of what he might do to himself prior to your swift and certain departure.

 

If he is this unstable, you should also take certain measures to protect your own self from harm for a few weeks after the breakup. If his behavior is this volatile, he could possibly channel his anger and depression towards you and cause you harm. Get advice from authorities on how to handle this as well and stay somewhere where he cannot find you or contact you...just for a while.

 

I hope you have learned a lesson here. Anytime you find yourself in a relationship with a crazy person like this, get away and get away fast. You and your life can never profit in any way by being with a nutty fruitcake. Life is simply too short and too difficult to be dragging this kind of baggage around with you.

 

Why in heaven's name would you want to date a child anyway?

[The helper..]

it's a complicated problem really but what's make u date someone younger than u any way.. I know it's hard for both of u but i think u should stay with him for a while!! tell u can figure out what to do..

 

u said he's sick then he might do any thing to have u back to his side.. like he might kill u and his self so u really have 2 work it out before something bad could happen..

 

he also can come over to ur house and do alot of crazy thing he can dispense with it..

 

any way i think u shall ask someone whom u trust about it and to listen to him,, and above that all, get them to a psychiatrist so he can help him to get over u ..

 

after all u shouldn't had to had this relationship in the first place..Or let's say that u were sapose to had him as a friend not as a lover!!!

 

for u i think the most saftey thing is to travil away any way so u can help him to get over u and u can remove him from ur mind and give him a great chance to leave u..

 

i don't now what to say more i hope i was a good helper after all we all had some mistake!!!!