Cheamps Posted April 17, 2006 Share Posted April 17, 2006 I just found this site, and this forum is a huge source of comfort for me. I'm in a LDR, and have been for the past year or so, and things are great between us. We're fortunate to see each other often, and we plan on getting married, but I am in graduate school (doctoral program -- so a good 5 years), and he is working under a 2 year contract. My problem is, I am a complete mess when we're not together. I hate that I'm becoming "that girl" who can't be without her boyfriend and is always leaving to visit him, or he's coming here. When I'm sitting in my apartment alone, I just will cry and I have no motivation to do anything. Obviously school keeps me busy, but I'm finding it harder and harder to wake up in the morning and convince myself that this is a better idea than being with him. How do you guys cope with being lonely? Or, is this abnormal? Link to post Share on other sites
luvvedupnyc Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 Hi I'm quite new in a LDR but I know what you mean. I met my bf online and met him for the first time a few weeks back while i was over in NY. I wasnt expecting our "friendship" to become anything else but it has.... I'm in Scotland and He's in the USA, and I actually feel lost when i'm sitting at home but I find that being away from him is making me bitter and suspicious about it all... naturally I wouldnt say anything to him but I think he knows that I am really upset about having to be away from him and he is so laid back. I also have to suffer the time difference so when I'm up and finished work (I teach) my bf is just starting his day which makes it harder to have a good conversation with him daily (he's an Exec and finding free time is hard). I dont know if its just me, but I get really upset if I dont get a full conversation off him daily, also I just discovered that he has to pay everytime I text him! (i send him silly messages all day... bit of a text-a-holic...bit mortified when another friend in the US told me that... ). Plus as he is at work.... he can be in meetings, with clients... so catching him when is isnt busy is hard! It not a shock that I have considered just simply booking a 7 hour flight just to spend a couple of days with him.... I know we're great but I still get extremely upset and bothered that he is there and I'm here.... I'm lucky enough to work with a few girls who are in a LDR of some form (as their hubby's work away for months) so they keep me busy and adviced me to take up a new hobby. Sounds easy enough but I suppose in the end I still have to go home and lye in bed and that is where my thinking starts to bother me. Sorry this has turned into a moan.... Link to post Share on other sites
scottishgirl Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 hi, i know how you feel. it can get depressing at times. im the same as you luvvedup, my day is ending as his is beginning but im not a good sleeper so i speak to him on msn for most of the night. i think the hardest thing is when you cant get in contact, im a mess if i dont hear from him for a couple of hours, luckily he feels the same so we are always in some sort of contact, either text calls or msn. i think the key is to keep busy, if i have nothing on and find myself gretting i take the dog out for a long walk, he still fills my mind but i can focus on other things. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
luvvedupnyc Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 Where is you bf? I know what you mean.... we text like mad people and end up spending a fortune.. I get him on aim most of the day but i can sleep for britain so while he is home i'm out for the count in bed! Link to post Share on other sites
scottishgirl Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 my b/f is in australia so a long way away lol. Link to post Share on other sites
luvvedupnyc Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 wow... that is further than me.... its hard... where did you meet him? Link to post Share on other sites
scottishgirl Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 i met him on a forum(we both share the same lifelong illness) Link to post Share on other sites
luvvedupnyc Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 lol i met mine online too..... if you ever need to talk i have msn... thinking how i can give you my email as its actually my name.... Link to post Share on other sites
justagirliegirl Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 I'm in the same boat. I'm in the US and he is in OZ. It is so hard being apart. Look around for different calling cards and phone plans. I found a great quality card where I can call his mobile for 15 cents a minute. My mobile charges 10 cents a minute to call anyone so a total of 25 cents a minute which is still very good. sms are 10 cents each. After I came back from visiting him, I decided I just couldn't take it anymore so I am moving there by the end of this year. Night time is the worst though. Laying in bed and wishing I was with him. Link to post Share on other sites
luvvedupnyc Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 my relationship is new really.... but we have said when he is over at xmas we have to decide what the next step is... basically.... one of us has to moves but I know that will be me and we're fine with that. Its very hard.... but i suppose if its meant to be Link to post Share on other sites
justagirliegirl Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 Yeah if it is new, try to give it time. Try to spend more time together irl. We have been together nearly 2 years so it was just time to make a decision. When I am there we spend lots of time together and the last time almost like we lived together. I just felt I had to get to the point of daily living with him(doing chores together, going to the grocery, cooking, making decisions together) to see what it would be like to live with him and not just the dizzy romantic phase. Link to post Share on other sites
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