Khanada Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 Hi I tried to post earlier but it didnt show up, sorry if i do a double post. Edit: You might find my english a bit "simple", I live in the US but I am not english native My bf and I met online. He told me that he loves me. I am 31, he's 24. Our small age gap doesnt bother him, bothers me a bit Anyway, he changed position in his company, it is the super busy season at work and 2 weeks ago he asked for a break, for things to slow down a little. That he "still loves me but that he's stressed, that's all". I was quite surprised. I know he's not the kind of guy to speak much. Things usually blow up, good, or bad. A week ago, after an horrible week spent trying to give him some air, I decided to go out with a girl friend. When I came back home he was all loving, told me he loved me. Well now things are back to the way they were and he's distant again. We play an online game together, I left him alone and after a couple hours he asked me why I was so quiet. I replied that i was here for him, available, but I felt like it was better to leave him alone a little bit, with his job and stress. No reply to that. We talk, a guy hit on me and he asked me to send him to him so he could tell him to stop, since I did it myself and the person wouldnt understand. We talk, he looks out for me, I guess we got back to close friends with the love on top of it. Well if you want more details, I can do but I think that's the core of it. I chose to believe him when he says he doesnt want a break up but just a break. I am worried but I dont want to show it to him. What do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 He's too busy for you and wants a break . = He broke up with you. Link to post Share on other sites
aleatoryd Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 That means - I'm not really sure I want to be with you so I'm letting you go and if I change my mind I will get back to you. Basically you're on time out until he gets bored and decides he can't find anything better. I don't think you want to be "Miss make do" so get out while you can as he doesn't sound very interested in you. Don't settle for being second best you can do bettrer... find someone who will make you their prority. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 That means - I'm not really sure I want to be with you so I'm letting you go and if I change my mind I will get back to you. Basically you're on time out until he gets bored and decides he can't find anything better. I don't think you want to be "Miss make do" so get out while you can as he doesn't sound very interested in you. Don't settle for being second best you can do bettrer... find someone who will make you their prority. Good luck. *Breaks* are full of cra*. Won't find me in one....lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 Yes I understand what you mean. I have this feeling that he isnt sure what he wants. I dont think I come as second choice though, I know he cares for me, we're close. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Khanada Posted April 18, 2006 Author Share Posted April 18, 2006 I dont think he broke up with me no, I still get his attention, we talk, spend time together. As in just the two of us. What is getting on hold is the romantic part of our story. I am not wondering if he broke up with me, I am more wondering how to react to less time together. Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 Usually when a man says he wants to take a break, he means there is someone else he wants to try out and if it doesn't work out he wants to be sure you're waiting for him. Usually. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Khanada Posted April 18, 2006 Author Share Posted April 18, 2006 Yes, I know what you mean. Well I think I am gonna take a break myself and get away a little, break up or not, whatever happens, I dont think that hanging out together is a good idea at the moment. I mean if he is lying to me, so be it, if he is honest, he needs a real break so lets give it to him and have fun while it lasts Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 Yes, I know what you mean. Well I think I am gonna take a break myself and get away a little, break up or not, whatever happens, I dont think that hanging out together is a good idea at the moment. I mean if he is lying to me, so be it, if he is honest, he needs a real break so lets give it to him and have fun while it lasts That is an awesome attitude. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Khanada Posted April 18, 2006 Author Share Posted April 18, 2006 Thank you. I think that getting all "whiny" and "needy" isnt attractive. To be at his total disposal isnt attractive either and sometimes we forget "ourselves" in a relationship and when the loved one goes away we end with.. nothing left! Since we let our life revolves around the loved one. I'd say time to take the situation under control, I believe he is honest with me but I also believe that he is in the phase where he asks himself questions. Me around is gonna push him away for sure! I'll make sure to post an answer, good or bad, when I get one, I guess it will though take me a few weeks to find out. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted April 19, 2006 Share Posted April 19, 2006 I think you should prepare yourself for the worst. He is not committed enough to this r/s to put any time in it. If the r/s mattered to him, he could overcome the stress. Link to post Share on other sites
Alexandra Posted April 19, 2006 Share Posted April 19, 2006 I'd say time to take the situation under control, I believe he is honest with me but I also believe that he is in the phase where he asks himself questions. Me around is gonna push him away for sure! I'll make sure to post an answer, good or bad, when I get one, I guess it will though take me a few weeks to find out. That sounds like a great resolution, I hope you stick to it. Not only will it give you perspective but you did one of the things that is essential in situations of the sort, meaning given yourself a subconscient deadline when thinking of the few weeks. If it works out, and as rare statistically as that it, it would only do so as a result of this stance, that's great, if not, the few weeks will help you deal with it ending easier. Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted April 19, 2006 Share Posted April 19, 2006 That is an awesome attitude. I second that ! Link to post Share on other sites
Mary3 Posted April 19, 2006 Share Posted April 19, 2006 Thank you. I think that getting all "whiny" and "needy" isnt attractive. To be at his total disposal isnt attractive either and sometimes we forget "ourselves" in a relationship and when the loved one goes away we end with.. nothing left! Since we let our life revolves around the loved one. I'd say time to take the situation under control, I believe he is honest with me but I also believe that he is in the phase where he asks himself questions. Me around is gonna push him away for sure! I'll make sure to post an answer, good or bad, when I get one, I guess it will though take me a few weeks to find out. I agree 100% . Could not have said it better... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Khanada Posted April 20, 2006 Author Share Posted April 20, 2006 Hard though, especially when he keeps messaging me, but oh well Link to post Share on other sites
Author Khanada Posted April 21, 2006 Author Share Posted April 21, 2006 Got news, probably my last post for months, if I ever remember to come back ( I will try, your site is in my favorites). Well he really is stressed, at work.. health problems in his family.... And other things I think would be too personal to mention. We talked, thing that we hadnt really done for weeks. We are gonna work it out. I put conditions though, we are back to friends for a few months, I dont want more for now. He is ok with it. Only one thing, no unfaithful act.. it's not a free for all... not a break to go try out other people.. We agreed to that. I am glad that I read your posts, Mary woke me up, gave my strengh and "myself" back to me. Communication is the key. Yes, it is. When people are honest and love each other, it really is what they need. I cleared a bunch of things on the way, good cleaning up, I can tell you that! I missed my friend so much, I didnt want the lover, I missed the complicity we had for months, missed it SO MUCH! And he did too, that's good. We talked, we laughed... I am happy. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts