How can I get over with this?

[Jennie Garth]

About 2 years ago, I met my very 1st love. I hesitated in starting this relationship since he left in Canada and I live in NJ. After being together for 2 weeks, i found that he has cancer. I was super worried when he got really sick..he couldn't work at all...and he kept getting fever. Throughout the period when he was sick, even though i couldn't physically be with him, we talked to each other for hours everynite and i supported him all the way. I tried my best to make him feel loved while he was sick for 1.5 years. I love him with all my heart. Eventually (and fortunately), he covered in april this year, and gradually, we didn't chat as often as we used to ...and in August, he told me that he has found a new gf and has been dating her since earlier this year. I was completely shocked. I got really upset cos I simply can't believe how could he be so cruel to me. I didn't understand why guys lie and cheat all the time. Is it their nature? Since then, i realize that every person whom i meet in life comes into my life for a reason...i guess i have learnt a very precious lesson. I have been too naive to trust him completely. Since his confession (that he now has a new gf and is very much in with her according to him), i became very bitter about relationships. I know that i should get over with this..but at times, when i am alone at nite, i just can't stop crying cos i miss this jeark....how can i get over with this? Please help

[Tony T]

Most long distance relationships don't work. So face it. You screwed up here by falling for a guy who lives thousands of miles away. To have a decent love situation, you have to be in the person's physical proximity. You can hardly blame him for falling for someone who is close to him.

 

Most likely, during his bout with cancer, he underwent a lot of mental and emotional changes and came to some serious realizations. Respect those. He has done you a favor so you can come to the same realizations without going through a serioius illness.

 

The most important realization he came to was that in times of great need, it is important to have people you love very close to you...that includes, for him, a girlfriend who lives in Canada, NOT in New Jersey.

 

Now, go find a guy who lives near you and enjoy some real love!!!

[Sam]

I agree that most LD relationships don't work..but I disagree that she screwed up cos I fell for a guy who lives thousands of miles away from her..he just was just not as committed as she does. He simply didn't have enough FAITH in this relationship. If he were as committed as she was, i think things would have worked out fine. I've learnt a lot from this...such as I realize that loving someone wholeheartedly doesn't mean that the other person will love you back, girls shouldn't treat their men too well, can't trust a guy completely no matter ho sweet he was and he many times he said loves her much...etc.