Getting married! Anything I should know first?

[JackJack]

So I popped the question to my g/f of 3 years on Easter! I had been thinking of doing it back at Valentines, but thought that was what alot of people did, even at Christmas, getting engaged. So thought I would do it totaly different and do this at Easter. I surprised her by taking her on a little Easter egg hunt in the park. I hid a few eggs, each egg containing something different. Jelly beans were in some, chocolate candy in others, then there was the big golden egg. Thats where her ring was! She was estatic to say the least! I must say she did think it was odd of me to want her to find Easter eggs. So we were thinking of getting married some time this summer or maybe even in the fall. We both decided it doesn't have to be a big wedding or anything, but with a few close friends/family, but nothing major. I think the more we think about it the more we are leaning towards the early fall but we shall see.

 

So is there anything I should know before taking the plunge? Anyone married that has some helpful words of advice? Things I should do? Should not do? etc. Thanks for the input!

[alphamale]

I must say she did think it was odd of me to want her to find Easter eggs.

Why? Is she Jewish?

 

So we were thinking of getting married some time this summer or maybe even in the fall.

Trust me, wait at least one year.

 

We both decided it doesn't have to be a big wedding or anything, but with a few close friends/family, but nothing major.

Is this her first marriage? If it is then don't be naive, she'll want to go all out on this one because her 2nd wedding will be small.

 

So is there anything I should know before taking the plunge?

Yes, it will be nothing like you imagine and will open your eyes.

 

Things I should do?

One word, prenup....

[JackJack]

Why? Is she Jewish?

 

 

Trust me, wait at least one year.

 

 

Is this her first marriage? If it is then don't be naive, she'll want to go all out on this one because her 2nd wedding will be small.

 

 

Yes, it will be nothing like you imagine and will open your eyes.

 

 

One word, prenup....

 

 

No shes not Jewish. I told her I wanted her to go on an Easter egg hunt and she looked at me funny. Maybe she thought that was more for kids, hell I don't know, but she enjoyed it and glad she went now.

 

Wait a year why?

 

 

Yes its her first marriage and mine as well. I doubt she wants a huge wedding since we both have discussed this. I'm not saying it will be tiny, but it its not going to be a big blow out either. We both see no point. Thats for some people but neither of us is interested in a huge wedding.

 

 

I imagine it wont be quite what I expect, nothing is really. I'm not into fairy tales, and I do hope my eyes are wide open.

 

 

We wont be doing a pre-nup.

[Kenyth]

You'll need a year to properly plan this. It's timed perfectly for a spring wedding though! If you've been with her three years and are living together, I think you've got a pretty good idea whether you're compatible or not. It's the "one year" relationships that get risky. Folks tend to show a different face for the first year. Also, the first significant problem can really tell you the full story about a person. I found that out the hard way. AFTER I married instead of before. Unfortunately, the next telling event (the first child together) is unavoidable until after you're married. You just have to cross your fingers on that one.

[a4a]

Well congrats Jack!

 

Very creative proposal!!

 

Sounds like you have invested time to get to know your STBW.

 

Respect and communication are key even in friendships.

Don't expect a fairy tale, relationships take work.

Just like a business you get out of it what you put into it.

 

Get a good financial plan together with your STBW, set some short term and long term goals for yourselves.

 

Best Wishes to you!

[JackJack]

"Folks tend to show a different face for the first year."

 

 

How so? So do people change after they get a ring on their finger or something? Just curious on this. If we wait till early fall that would be about 6 months or so, thats probably pretty good then?

[alphamale]

Respect and communication are key even in friendships.

Don't expect a fairy tale, relationships take work.

Just like a business you get out of it what you put into it.

forget about the above JJ...you need to dominate her and keep her down. Make sure she's barefoot and pregnant and cooking and cleanning 24/7.

 

yes, once you're married everything changes.

[JackJack]

forget about the above JJ...you need to dominate her and keep her down. Make sure she's barefoot and pregnant and cooking and cleanning 24/7.

 

 

Hmmm? Why do I think this is not the best idea? No offense though.

[a4a]

forget about the above JJ...you need to dominate her and keep her down. Make sure she's barefoot and pregnant and cooking and cleanning 24/7.

 

 

my yes indeed and cut her off from all family and friends.

 

buy her a bucket and scrub brush for x-mas as well....... she will appreciate your concern for her!

 

helps if you smack her around a little too, she should speak when only spoken to. at all other times her mouth should be shut or wrapped around your penis pleasuring you.

 

be clear that you expect to have threesomes with her and her friends. this is your right. you can also have several mistresses.

 

you need to really bust up her self esteem by not using her name.... just call her Pig Bitch.

[JackJack]

my yes indeed and cut her off from all family and friends.

 

buy her a bucket and scrub brush for x-mas as well....... she will appreciate your concern for her!

 

helps if you smack her around a little too, she should speak when only spoken to. at all other times her mouth should be shut or wrapped around your penis pleasuring you.

 

be clear that you expect to have threesomes with her and her friends. this is your right. you can also have several mistresses.

 

you need to really bust up her self esteem by not using her name.... just call her Pig Bitch.

 

 

OMG! :lmao:

[catgirl1927]

Be sure and tell her constantly that she's too fat. Make sure there is tons of porn laying around and occasionally when you're sitting on your ass while she busts hers cleaning the house, tell her how you sure wish you could have a woman like the ones you see in porn, those are REAL women and she's so ugly it makes you sick. Then slam out of the house and tell her you're going to the strip club where women know how to act.

[Outcast]

Go find yourself one of the books on questions to ask before marriage and then read and discuss together. Or go take a marriage prep course. If you haven't yet discussed finances, children, chore sharing, etc etc you need to do so now.

[grateful]

Wow, that all sounds so sweet!

 

I think if you and she want a small wedding you should go ahead and do so. I'm not married yet but I'm planning the same - just immediate family. And I am a woman and this will be my first marriage. Just not interested in the hoopla. Do what's best for you as a couple.

 

Good luck to you.

[JackJack]

Be sure and tell her constantly that she's too fat. Make sure there is tons of porn laying around and occasionally when you're sitting on your ass while she busts hers cleaning the house, tell her how you sure wish you could have a woman like the ones you see in porn, those are REAL women and she's so ugly it makes you sick. Then slam out of the house and tell her you're going to the strip club where women know how to act.

 

 

Hmmm? Thinking some of this advice is either based on experience or people have been reading to many posts on LS. Maybe a little of both? Just kidding!

[Touche]

No, people don't turn into other people once you marry. That's absurd. My only advice is to discuss EVERYTHING first. How you will handle finances, split household duties, children or no children, how you will raise them, religion, etc. Don't wait until you get married to discuss those things.

 

Good luck!

[michelangelo]

churches and reception halls get booked up surprisingly faster than you'd think.

 

So unless you are just going to a vacant lot and having everyone show up there, you need to book a church and a reception hall.

 

And the preacher, etc.

 

get crackin....

 

Oh, congrats!

[JackJack]

No, people don't turn into other people once you marry. That's absurd. My only advice is to discuss EVERYTHING first. How you will handle finances, split household duties, children or no children, how you will raise them, religion, etc. Don't wait until you get married to discuss those things.

 

Good luck!

 

 

Thanks we will discuss this. Some already has been and we know where each stands.

[Touche]

Thanks we will discuss this. Some already has been and we know where each stands.

 

Sounds to me like you're doing all the right things. (By the way, I'm happily married going on 11 years. )

 

How is your "fighting" style? That's another biggie. When you disagree can you come to a compromise and negotiate? One person shouldn't always get their way and name-calling should NEVER be an option.

[JackJack]

Sounds to me like you're doing all the right things. (By the way, I'm happily married going on 11 years. )

 

How is your "fighting" style? That's another biggie. When you disagree can you come to a compromise and negotiate? One person shouldn't always get their way and name-calling should NEVER be an option.

 

We are both pretty even tempered I guess you could say. We have never raised our voices to each other during a arguement. I wouldn't even call it that really, more of a discussion. We both see each others side to things depending on the situation. We both have always been willing to negotiate on things. Of course theres some things I rather not do but because its important to her I do them just as she does for me.

 

As far as name calling goes, I think seeing my brothers situation with his wife over the years, I can make a safe bet thats probably not going to happen. Not on my end anyway. I have seen and heard so much name calling from them to each other, its just plain ridiculas.

 

I think one thing I need to work on, and have been doing better at, is shes a neat freak, while I'm the sloppy one.

[Touche]

Sounds like you two have what it takes to have a good marriage. And by the way, I'm the sloppy one and husband is the neat one. But I'm WAY better than I used to be and he's relaxed a little on it, so we have kind of met in the middle on that. Just pick up after yourself and her too sometimes, even when you don't feel like it. You'll score big points!

[quankanne]

some churches offer an engagement encounter, where you discuss all the biggies (family, sex, money, fighting fairly) and give you tools to use in your marriage to keep it a happier one. If you're planning a church wedding see if this is a must before you get hitched (I know the Catholic Church requires it, but they also offer marriage enrichment seminars that focus on the same thing).

 

congratulations to you and your future Mrs.!!!

[alphamale]

(I know the Catholic Church requires it, but they also offer marriage enrichment seminars that focus on the same thing).

I don't know if I would trust any institution that "looks the other way" while its leaders molest minors.

[catgirl1927]

I don't know if I would trust any institution that "looks the other way" while its leaders molest minors.

 

:lmao: Brilliant.

 

If you guys have never lived together before, expect BIG changes. I would be terrified to go from just dating someone to being married. Scary stuff. But I have a good friend who just did it. She's freaking out BIG TIME, but I think she'll be ok because they really do love each other very much.

[quankanne]

as I seem to recall, we're doing something about it to (1) take care of offenders and (2) prevent future abuse.

 

old news, dude, and poor joke

[Kenyth]

Yes, some people tend to act better before they're married. There's a desire to impress the other person and be more forgiving and accepting. Part of this is because they know that the relationship could end at the drop of a hat. Something can happen when you combine lives, finances, etc. Some people expect you to merge and take on their life habits and values. Maybe they expect you to no longer do certain things because you're a family man now. Perhaps they want to be completely in charge of the decorating or the finances. Maybe they expect you to quit smoking, or not drink beer anymore, or quit your hobbies. Perhaps they expect you to act differently or treat the other people in your life differently because of them. Sadly, many times they don't come fully clean on these things until after you're married and they feel brave because you now have a ring and an investment in the future together. This can get even worse after the first child. Many things are easy to work out, but some may not be. There are some issues where it's black or white, go or no-go, do or do not. Compromise just isn't really possible under these circumstances. Those are the ones that can end your marriage or make your life miserable.