quankanne Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 Yes, some people tend to act better before they're married. yep, in our house, we call 'em campaign promises :p Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 So is there anything I should know before taking the plunge? Anyone married that has some helpful words of advice? Things I should do? Should not do? etc. Thanks for the input! 1. If you dream about a Porshe or a new BMW roadster, this is the time to buy it, cuz once you're married you're gonna need a van for your future kids, and a big house for your future kids, and save money for your future kids' college... 2. Listen to your girl and try to understand where she's coming from when she's angry at you; it never hurts to say: "I am so sorry i hurt you with what I did/said, I love you and would never want to hurt you, but I really don't think I did anything wrong... let me explain my viewpoint and then tell me what you think." It's so much better than the mutual accusations that ruin marriages. It's ok to say you're sorry that she's hurt, you don't need to apologize for what you think you did right. 3. Be sweet and cheerful around her - you'll get a lot of appreciation for that! 4. Women like nice surprises; if you manage to show enough affection, you'll gain a lot of credits in her eyes and she will be happy. A happy wife = good marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 Women like nice surprises; if you manage to show enough affection, you'll gain a lot of credits in her eyes and she will be happy. and interestingly enough, they don't have to be pricey, just thoughtful! After a booger of a day in the office, it's nice to come home to a cooked meal, because we don't have to discuss, then cook, dinner. Flowers swiped from the garden are really sweet, too, because it says "I saw these and thought of you and had to pick/steal them." Take her someplace adventureous and off the beaten track; one of the last times we went visiting his family in Alabama, my husband and I went around looking for covered bridges, then we pulled over to explore the river that one of them spanned, which was fun because it was different. Really, anything that makes a difference because you've said or done or given out of the ordinary ... Link to post Share on other sites
glittergurl Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 Well, there is only one thing to keep in mind: never give up on it. Even in 10 years. I consider my husband and I as a team, no matter what situation, we have to stick together. Don't ever let anybody or any situation break that. And conflicts need to be talked out, don't ever let bad feelings pile up. It's not always easy, sometimes it's heaven and sometimes it's hard. But in the end, it only gets better and better Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted April 19, 2006 Share Posted April 19, 2006 Well, there is only one thing to keep in mind: never give up on it. Even in 10 years. I consider my husband and I as a team, no matter what situation, we have to stick together. Don't ever let anybody or any situation break that. And conflicts need to be talked out, don't ever let bad feelings pile up. It's not always easy, sometimes it's heaven and sometimes it's hard. But in the end, it only gets better and better This is such a great advice; remember every word of it. You have to understand (keep in mind) that there WILL BE hard times, but you need to resolve the problems. A bad month or two full of fights is not a ground for divorce, not until you try to resolve the problems and things are still bad for many more months. Not until you're absolutely sure that you will enevr ever be happy together. Don't mention the D word unless you really mean it. If she mentions it, just tell her to pack her bags and leave if that's what she wants and she will stop. Divorce is never one of the options when you have a problem - it can only be the only option right before it really happens. Link to post Share on other sites
slinkysu Posted April 19, 2006 Share Posted April 19, 2006 "Folks tend to show a different face for the first year." How so? So do people change after they get a ring on their finger or something? Just curious on this. If we wait till early fall that would be about 6 months or so, thats probably pretty good then? Many congratulations to you!! My fiance and I are getting married at the end of September this year and are looking forward to our life together. Getting married is so exciting, but like the others advising you here, I really would wait a year until you actually do. For no other reason than the planning! There is so much to do, organise, cater for that in order to keep your fiance sane, please give her the time! being engaged is great, but it is also a highly stressful period at times. There really are 101 little things to get done that having the time to deal with each things as they crop up is a precious gift. trying to cram it all into a few months will be very hard to cope with, espeically if you both work, and the added stress could put a strain on one or both of you. You will only be engaged this one time - take the time to enjoy it. Why rush? You will be married for the rest of your lives. In 10 years time you will be far happier looking back at a period of engagement where you both enjoyed yourselves and planned for the best wedding you could both imagine. That is far better than looking back and being reminded how stressful and snappy you both were trying to get what you wanted too fast to enjoy it. You may find that you are restricted by venues and clergy as it is as many couples now plan 12 months in advance and finding someone to cater for your wedding may be tough. Enjoy being engaged and congrtulations once again. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 Enjoy being engaged and congrtulations once again.Enjoy being engaged in sex cuz they say the wedding cake kills the libido! Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 Enjoy being engaged in sex cuz they say the wedding cake kills the libido! Stop that, RP! And everyone knows it's not the cake that kills it...it's the HUSBAND! (I'm kidding, I'm kidding!) Link to post Share on other sites
justagirliegirl Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 Marriage, a great way to ruin a good relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 Stop that, RP! And everyone knows it's not the cake that kills it...it's the HUSBAND! (I'm kidding, I'm kidding!)I think you're not kidding! Speaking of that, when people would tell me "Ah, you have two kids and haven't gained weight!" I tell them "It's not the kids why women gain weight, it's the husband!" And then men get offended. Go figure... The thing is, women cook well for their husbands (want to be good wives like their moms) and enjoy the food themselves. They spend a lot of time at home, they eat after their children and whatever the husbands don't even wanna try (cuz they don't eat stuffed peppers, soteed carrots and brocolli, salads with mayo, etc.), and they get comfortable with eating as much as their hubbies do, not to mention that they don't feel the urge to lose those extra 2 lbs like before just to get in their old jeans... cuz now they have 20 extra lbs! Divorced women with kids are much skinnier, I think, than married women with kids. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 I'm recently married and can tell you this... don't rush the wedding plans!! Even a small wedding, with immediate family is difficult to orchestrate. The sad thing about these family events is that you really see the worst in people. Man, could I tell you horror stories!! Your once intimate wedding soon becomes a prom... everyone insisting on bringing a date. I met at least 10 people at my own wedding!! What?!?! This is a very exciting and very stressful time... enjoy the excitement and ease the stress by spreading the planning out over a year or so. You can't imagine the little details you freak out over... tying ribbons on this, printing out that, the seating chart (the worst!!), writing thank you notes for shower gifts... My final suggestion is to research what is involved in planning a wedding. Figure in your budget (it's alot tougher to plan if the budget is tight!!) and if you think you can get it done in 6 months, more power to you!! Congrats!! Cudos on the proposal! My husband did a scavenger hunt and it still gets me to tell the story. A nice start to many memories to come!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts