Author CaliGuy Posted April 20, 2006 Author Share Posted April 20, 2006 Sorry LISHY but it is totally inappropriate to keep in contact with your ex's mother. In addition this totally negates any NC that CG may THINK he had with his ex. I just think it ironic that the self-proclaimed "King of NC" does not even know what NC is. I never proclaimed myself the 'King' of NC. Evidence, please? And Alpha, you mean to tell me you've never given advice that you couldn't follow to a T? I highly doubt that. I've had NC with my ex now for almost 2 months now. The last contact was initiated by her to brag about her 90 day bonus. It's easy for you to assume with regards to her mom and I but having never spent a day in my shoes, that's all you are doing is assuming. And you know what that does. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CaliGuy Posted April 20, 2006 Author Share Posted April 20, 2006 there are only shades of grey because you choose to see shades of grey.. If you would apply a more black and white approach you would feel better I'm getting there. Looking at something in grey/black and white is totally controlable and in our own power to change the way we look at a situation The shades of gray are in regards to what this woman has done and meant to me in my life when my mom died. I know for most people it's easy to say just forget about her or be mean to hear for making one mistake. IF this happens again I will know what to do. And isn't that the reason I asked for advice? I'm having a hard time correlating how any of the advice I've asked for in this thread (or why I am not going to go to the drastic meansures a few people think I should) makes me some kind of hypocrite. "Let ye who are free of sin cast the first stone." Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 Cali has never proclaimed himself to be the 'king of NC' others have said that down to the fantastic advice he gives on how to deal with a break up! Give him a break guys! He is trying to do the right thing ... We all know how it feels to be heartbroken and Cali sure is heartbroken! Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 I'm getting there. Yes you are.. We are all only human.. in a year you are going to look back on this part of your life and just say "damn!!" I never want to repeat that again and at the same time you will also think " Duh " .. Why did I waste all the time on her that I did.. You are only human.. We all are.. And we all do the same exact things in a breakup sceneario.. I'm no different than you CG.. But right now I'm on the other side where I'm saying " Duh ".. so I can see where you are now.. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 See Cali .... If you want advice, ask Art! He doesnt judge and says it right how it is! You may feel he is harsh at times of hurt but he is mostly right! Art is the 'King of advice' lol Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 Cali has never proclaimed himself to be the 'king of NC' others have said that down to the fantastic advice he gives on how to deal with a break up! oh yeah LISHY? please look at the tread CG started on Feb 01, 2006. Below is the initial posting: The evil day approaches - "Valentines Day." If you are on strict NC I want to remind you of the following. * Do not send her flowers. * Do not call her. * Do not email her. * Do not IM her. * Do not send her gifts of any kind (No chocloates, no Bears, etc.) * Do not text/sms her. NO CONTACT OF ANY KIND! Do not make any attempt to contact her just because it's Valentine's Day. Chances are if she is seeing someone else it will backfire. On top of that you put yourself back at square one if she doesn't respond or worse, says something mean to you. The point of being on NC is to heal yourself and show them you can get along fine without them. When you break NC you show them you're still pining after them. If they try and make contact with you, please don't reply. You're busy. You have a life, things to do, friends to see and dates to make. You're doing great without them in your life. *This message courtesy of someone who has been through all this crap before and knows the pitfalls of contacting an Ex that doesn't want you in her life. If you want to maintain your self-respect and dignity, do not break NC!* yeah....that is great but he left off one item which is: * Do not contact any of her family members or close friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 But honey, not once did he say "You listen to me cos I am the king of No Contact" What he wrote would help so many people - We are not all infallible Alpha, you included! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 But honey, not once did he say "You listen to me cos I am the king of No Contact" yeah so explain all his "guides" and "handbooks". you think someone who does not even know about the subject should be publishing know-it-all guides on LS? I don't think so.... We have to set and maintain standards here. There are many impressionable young people on LS that need solid guidance and advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 Whoa Alpha you seem to forget that it was his ex mother in law who contacted HIM! He didnt break no contact! Cali does give out solid guidance and advice - I bet you have broken advice you have handed out! We just dont get to hear about you because you choose not to discuss yourself on here! We all know right from wrong but it does not stop us from getting weak and off track and making mistakes! Just because Cali has read alot about No Contact and it makes sense to him and he shares his findings with us, does not mean that he cannot come here and ask for advise when he is in need! The man has helped enough people on here, he is surely entitled to get some help and advise himself without the thread being hi-jacked talking about him practising what he preaches! Or have I got this wrong? Is this not a help forum? Link to post Share on other sites
Author CaliGuy Posted April 20, 2006 Author Share Posted April 20, 2006 yeah so explain all his "guides" and "handbooks". you think someone who does not even know about the subject should be publishing know-it-all guides on LS? I don't think so.... Alpha you seem to have a comprehension problem. I've said more than once that most of the information I have gotten is from the books I have been reading, from counceling and talking to others who have made it. I have been passing along what I have learned not only to help others but as a way for me to burn into my mind what I should be doing. I never said, not one time, that I was perfect, that I was completely healed or that I was above any of the advice I have been giving or receiving. It does not take someone who is completely healed to have the right perspective, to be able to give the advice he/she has learned before they can give it. We have to set and maintain standards here. There are many impressionable young people on LS that need solid guidance and advice. Alpha, advice is 'subjective' by nature. There's no one single piece of advice that works for everyone or is appropriate for every situation. Just like the advice I have been giving in my guides. Advice is by nature a generalization and should be taken with a grain of salt. Solid advice is what you make of it, what works for you. I have never stated that if you do this or do that you are guaranteed a certain outcome. If I could do that I'd have won the lottery by now. I think it's very arrogant and short-sighted of you to proclaim yourself judge over who can or can not give advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 I have to say that Cali has given out plenty of solid advise and been a great help to many people who needed strength when they are starting No Contact! And he never condemns anyone when they falter and make contact he just gives words of encouragment. Alpha, you on the other hand just pick out little parts of what is being written and pick it to pieces ... Nothing constructive, solid or helpful in that hon! And Alpha I am curious ..... For a guy who is so (apparently) together and in control, what brings you to a relationship forum? How have you made 9000 posts when you have very little to say? I bet you dont answer that question! Link to post Share on other sites
sick of it Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 well...the original problem has been sorted. Cali, youve gotten a million different views and you made your decision. everyone has said what they needed to say and now its just an argument to see who gives up first....sound like my old relationship... theres no point to any of this. cali youre right. alpha, youre right, AC, lishy, in sync.....everyones right...and wrong....hooray! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 And Alpha I am curious ..... For a guy who is so (apparently) together and in control, what brings you to a relationship forum? How have you made 9000 posts when you have very little to say? its just something additional to do at work for fun. Alpha, you on the other hand just pick out little parts of what is being written and pick it to pieces ... Nothing constructive, solid or helpful in that hon! WTF do you mean LISHY? I am an LS instituion, a virtual pillar of strength Link to post Share on other sites
Author CaliGuy Posted April 20, 2006 Author Share Posted April 20, 2006 well...the original problem has been sorted. Cali, youve gotten a million different views and you made your decision. everyone has said what they needed to say and now its just an argument to see who gives up first....sound like my old relationship... theres no point to any of this. cali youre right. alpha, youre right, AC, lishy, in sync.....everyones right...and wrong....hooray! Good point. If someone doesn't take my advice I'm confident and secure enough in myself that I don't get upset or take it personally. I have never thought my advice was the "end all, be all." I have a perspective and share it. If you don't take it, no bid deal. The bottom line is it's our lives to live and we have to deal with the choices we make. I just can't stand the arrogant pr*cks that kick people when they are down. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CaliGuy Posted April 20, 2006 Author Share Posted April 20, 2006 Alpha, you on the other hand just pick out little parts of what is being written and pick it to pieces ... Nothing constructive, solid or helpful in that hon! I see you're starting to figure him out, Lishy. He's a chain-yanker and that's about all he's good for. Link to post Share on other sites
Lishy Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 WTF do you mean LISHY? I am an LS instituion, a virtual pillar of strength lol you are very amusing at times but you do have this incredible knack of making people feel s***tier than they already do! Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 He's a chain-yanker and that's about all he's good for. Its a dirty job, but someone has to do it. Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 I just can't stand the arrogant pr*cks that kick people when they are down. Me too! Unfortunately, there are some who enjoy doing so here. Alpha, what kind of job do you have so that you have all this time to post on LS? Its nice to know you have such good work ethics. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 what kind of job do you have so that you have all this time to post on LS? Its nice to know you have such good work ethics. That could be said about most of us on LS.. most of us are work posters Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 That could be said about most of us on LS.. most of us are work posters 9000+ post, Art? Its a bit excessive, no? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 9000+ post, Art? Its a bit excessive, no? No it isn't.. i'm at over 4000 We are here to offer advice and get what we need from passing it on.. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 No it isn't.. i'm at over 4000 We are here to offer advice and get what we need from passing it on.. dont' you hate these newbies with like 200 posts who've been on LS for 6 weeks and then they come and berate the old-timers like we're doing something wrong? sheeyot man! if anything the old-timers should be ripping the newbies apart Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 dont' you hate these newbies with like 200 posts who've been on LS for 6 weeks and then they come and berate the old-timers like we're doing something wrong? sheeyot man! if anything the old-timers should be ripping the newbies apart For the most part Newbies need to take the cotton out of their ears and put in in their mouths. did they ever think that most of the questions get answered by the people that have been here a while.. Most newbies are only here for a while and they never come back. Link to post Share on other sites
zarathustra Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 No it isn't.. i'm at over 4000 We are here to offer advice and get what we need from passing it on.. Thanks, Art, I have gotten some good advice from you. if anything the old-timers should be ripping the newbies apart I'm cool with that. I've been through HELL and back again many times over. Sorry, I wasn't playing nice in the sandbox. Hey, you'll never know if I'll be here in a year or two. In order to be an old-timer, you need to progress from being a newbie, no? Only time will tell. Link to post Share on other sites
chocolate_boy Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 dont' you hate these newbies with like 200 posts who've been on LS for 6 weeks and then they come and berate the old-timers like we're doing something wrong? sheeyot man! if anything the old-timers should be ripping the newbies apart See i'm still one of the "oldest farts" on the board, damn 3 years lol. And 3 break-ups i've been through in that time, (well one was late 2002 just before i joined, and the reason i did), the site has helped every time! Link to post Share on other sites
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