Friends with Benefits

[scb77]

How do you be Friends with Benefits with someone? I am so sexually attracted to this guy, but he is absolutely no one that I could have a relationship with. We had sex several times about 5 years ago, I was living in a different city than him. Just this past august I moved to the same city as him, we ran into eachother at the gym, he got my number, and since then, we have started having sex again. We both just got out of a long relationship. How do I let him know that all I want is sex? Also, how often is too often to give a booty call? Please let me know the rules of FWB?

[kitten chick]

FWB rules have to be made between the two people. There is no one way or one set of rules to make a FWB run right. The best thing you can do is lay it all out on the table, the more you know and understand about what you both want, how you feel about each other, and what's going to happen, the smoother it will run.

[michelangelo]

You can set up any rules you want to between the two of you. The problem is that when you both get physically satisfying sex your emotional connection will eventually be solidified.

 

How could it not?

 

If some guy is making you feel a lot of pleasure you will get emotionally involved.

 

Any rules you construct will go out the window.

[kitten chick]

That's kind of what the rules are there for. When one person goes outside the lines drawn it's time to end it. That's why it's so important to lay it all out there.

[michelangelo]

So that means one of the two of you has to be willing to put the brakes on when someone gets emotionally involved --- or change the rules.

[scb77]

Ok, so I know that you have to lay out all the rules, etc... But how do you confront someone about being friends with benefits? I mean, do you just straight out ask him? Also, about the booty calling, I don't want to seem needy, so how often is too often to call for a friends with benefits? I mean, I don't want him to get the wrong idea and think that I want something else.

[michelangelo]

in being truthful about how much sex you want to have.

[keye]

You really just have to talk to him. I'm sure he would be flattered. He obviously likes you and is attracted to you enough to have slept with you more than a few times before, and the sex is obviously good if he keeps coming back for more. The only advice I can give you is to lay down some ground rules from the beginning.

 

I've been in a FWB relationship and it didn't work because I was in love with this 'friend' and was settling for what I could get. BAD IDEA. The most important thing in this kind of relationship is a mutual respect and communication, both of which I lacked in my FWB arrangement. As soon as you feel something is iffy, address it. If you start to have serious feelings for this person, talk to him straightaway and find out whether he feels the same. If not, END IT. Otherwise, it's not going to be pretty when it does end, I'll tell you now.

[k-so]

FWB usually end up being long term relationships, when they don't someone usually gets hurt.

[debs]

No actually if you both can be honest and open you can have a FWB relationship. I see a gentleman in Michigan on an average every few months and it is strickly sex. On an occassion we do dine out but we both know the rules we set. In the beginning we did go back and forth but after some soul searching and honesty we would rather be just that FWB.

Most of you ask why would I just want that? I am presently content in the "singles" scene. I no longer "have" to be married to be my own person!