uongy Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 hey there,i know ive posted about this before but ive done some thinking and i just wanted to get some confirmation. basically,i like one of my friends alot.we have hooked up a few times(like made out a few times)but it never went further and i asked her how she felt and she said she liked me as a friend. so i left it,its cool between us but the feelings are still there for me.ive just been thinking about it and i think i will just leave it,but i will keep the friendship,i value it too much to lose and we are still getting to know each other...we havent knwon each other that long. any advice to add? Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 hey there,i know Ive posted about this before but Ive done some thinking and i just wanted to get some confirmation. basically,i like one of my friends alot.we have hooked up a few times(like made out a few times)but it never went further and i asked her how she felt and she said she liked me as a friend. so i left it,its cool between us but the feelings are still there for me.ive just been thinking about it and i think i will just leave it,but i will keep the friendship,i value it too much to lose and we are still getting to know each other...we haven't known each other that long. any advice to add? If you have romantic feelings for her you have to ask yourself if friendship for you is enough. The longer you are around her the stronger your feelings will become unless you make a decision to look for a romantic interest elsewhere and just see her as a friend. This is the only way to stay friends. You have to tell yourself to stop seeing her in a sexual way. Can you do this? Some can and other cannot so that is the question you need to ask yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
keye Posted April 19, 2006 Share Posted April 19, 2006 I totally agree with Yamaha. As much as we would like to believe that we can be 'just friends' with those we have romantic feelings for/are extremely sexually attracted to, the reality is that it's not always possible and you may actually drive yourself insane. Try to look for romantic prospects elsewhere and to start viewing this person on a purely platonic level - if this doesn't work, you're probably best explaining to her that you need some time to get over her. Put NC into practice for as long as you need or until you find someone who does make you happy, and then you can contact her again and be friends. If you guys are supposed to be in each other's lives, this should be no problem and you will be able to pick up where you left off. It's a really difficult position and it's a really difficult thing to do, but there are few options without hanging around and continuing to torture yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Ja5e Posted April 19, 2006 Share Posted April 19, 2006 NC is the way to go , however hard it is. Hopefully you`ll come out the other end still friends and you`ll have moved on. I did this last week , I tried hard to explain to her why and this link helped her understand a lot... http://nondatinglife.blogspot.com/2005/03/part-six-flipside-of-friend-zone.html You WILL go insane if you let your feelings get stronger and stronger , you`ll experience the pain of seeing her with other guys , your every waking thought will turn to her , its NOT a way to live!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author uongy Posted April 19, 2006 Author Share Posted April 19, 2006 yeah ive already had the NC period and then i talked to her again and it was fine. im fine with us being mates and just friends....i think its more the fact that i want a relationship atm and well she is the closest thing to me.....so i got confused. i dont think i have romatic feelings for her anymore.....i think im just missing a relationship. anyway cheers guys/. Link to post Share on other sites
Ja5e Posted April 19, 2006 Share Posted April 19, 2006 You may be just missing being in a relationship atm , but be careful. Most of us have a "vision" or a "picture" of our ideal life , this includes that special someone. Sometimes wthout expecting it someone suddenly ticks all those boxes for you and slots perfectly into your picture. The important thing to remember is that this is not the only girl who can tick all those boxes - unfortunately for people like you and me it happened to be a friend at this particular period of our life , which adds so many extra complications. I hope you can be "just friends" with this girl , as I hope I can eventually see my friend as "just a friend". Its going to be hard , keep at it though. Link to post Share on other sites
Ja5e Posted April 19, 2006 Share Posted April 19, 2006 Incidentally , how did she take the NC ? When you started to talk again was it uncomfortable? Did you initiate the contact again? Its only been a week for me with NC , but I`m already thinking about how the NC will end , this is way off in the future though , but as she is a very close friend I still want to let her know I`m ok and know that she is ok , but an email , phone call or sms message seems to hard to take at the moment. Guess I`ll just make sure that mutual friends pass on the info from time to time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author uongy Posted April 19, 2006 Author Share Posted April 19, 2006 well we were in the same circle of friends but i managed to avoid her for a sufficient amount of time. we just bumped into each other again and started chatting again....basically we started again and that was that.slowly but surely,we get closer and closer. dunno if that helps u lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Author uongy Posted April 19, 2006 Author Share Posted April 19, 2006 oh and also.....my friend didnt even tick all the boxes as such lol....she is just a great girl and someone i like hanging out with....tho not always lol. she isnt really relationship material....but oh well....just as well she doesnt love me i guess. Link to post Share on other sites
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