DefeatedGroom Posted April 19, 2006 Share Posted April 19, 2006 We want to get married overseas and everyone is whipping our @ss because of it. My parents can't go because they are taking care of dying relatives. Her parents can go because they can fly for dirt cheap. I don't know what to do and it's really wearing us out. My dad feels like we're kicking him in the balls after all the help he's given me in the past. My mom has become the queen of guilt trips with all the money bribing and hurt feelings. We don't want to have the wedding here because we don't want to get beaten down by all the BS planning and the $35 per person per plate. Plus, every place we checked out, sucks. Everyone wants $1,000,000,000 for their role. We want to be able to look back on our wedding, and say that we got the wedding we wanted. It shouldn't come with the price of pissing everyone off. I understand friends and family love us and want to be there for us, but what we really want is to get married overseas. Whoever wants to go can, but honestly, I really don't care if anyone else shows up. Is a wedding about them or us?? WTF! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 4, 2006 Share Posted May 4, 2006 hey, i understand im going through a similar experience, my parents think we should put the wedding off coz we met online and by the time of our original date we will have known each other for 2 years, should i hold coz my family wants me too, or go ahead and do it without them. My advice to you would be to ideally have your family there as it's your big day, but if they can't make it like you say, then just have a family celebration when you get back Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 8, 2006 Share Posted May 8, 2006 Is a wedding about them or us?? WTF! A wedding is about the coming together of two people and two familes and creating a unity as one. The wedding isn't just for you, its very much a family thing. You need to show more consideration of your parents feelings on this issue as it is a big thing for them. I know you are an adult already but getting married brings with it so much to the older generation. This is about you uniting with someone else and becoming a family of your own. It's a day of celebration for all involved but more so for parents. I had similar probs with my mother at first until i realised how big a deal all this was for her. Weddings have always been about families first. That is why traditionally the groom's parents get 1/3 of the wedding guest list, the bride's parents 1/3 and the bride and groom 1/3 too. Why not try and find a compromise - get married abroad but hold your reception back home after the event? If it is important for your parents to witness your nuptials then why not marry at home and have a lovely long honeymoon and no reception? It may seem simpler for you to go away and get married abroad but you are taking a precious moment away from your parents and you need to sit down and understand their point of view and then gently try to explain your own. It is difficult and often my fiance and I feel like our wedding gets taken over by well-meaning relatives - but that is what this is about - i'm not just marrying him, i'm marrying his family and vice versa. This is a family day -not a couple day and it is best shared with all (in my opinion) if at all possible. Link to post Share on other sites
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