Guy

[Jess]

A little over a week ago, a friend of mine had talked about fixing me up with a friend. I am divorced with two kids but still young. And I insisted that my friend let this guy know this, seeing that the guy is younger than myself. Anyway, to make the situation less awkward, my friend thought it would be a good idea, if the guy and I met first in a group setting. Unfortunately, the first night I had to leave early. But he was interested in seeing me again. The next night, we were able to spend more time together, again in a group setting, and at the end of the night, he asked me out. For the next few nights, he and I spoke on the phone and arranged a date. We went on the date and had a very good time. At the end of the night, he asked if he could call me and I said 'yes'. The following night, he called me and asked me what I was doing and I was going out to a place where I know he usually hangs out at. He said he was going there also. I then asked if it bothered him if I was going, because he had been going there for awhile and I just started going there. He said 'No, not at all.' When I got there he came up and we talked for a few. I had decided that I would not hang on him and let him do his thing because we weren't really together and he was with his friends. Every once in awhile he and I would get together and talk and touch each other a little bit but nothing big. At the end of the night, as we were all walking to our cars, he followed me to mine and asked if I was upset and I said 'No, not at all.' He then asked if he could call me 'tomorrow.' And I said sure. I slightly grab his hand to pull him a little closer, kind of hoping for a kiss, but he just said 'Talk to you tomorrow' and went to his car. I was a little baffled but his friends were all around and he is kind of shy. Well, unfortunately, as I was pulling out my tires squealed a little bit due to baldness. And I was afraid he might have thought I was mad, and I figured when he called 'tomorrow', I would explain. Well, it has been two days and I haven't heard from him. I know it was the weekend and he probably got busy, but he doesn't seem the type to say he'll call and not call, especially for two days. I do not want to call him and put pressure on him. But I am not sure what else to do?

[Cynthia]

In my experience it's cool to be chill about everything, especially in the beginning, but it sounds like you're being too chill. Don't try to play mind games or figure out what he's thinking. If you feel like calling him, do so! It's not pressure at all. It's for your own piece of mind so you know what's going on because even if he doesn't want to hang any more, you don't want to leave the situation just dangling. That's kind of awkward. Just call him.

 

I was thinking, though, that if you don't feel comfortable enough to talk to him from the get-go, he's either not making enough effort to make you comfortable or you're being kind of uptight. Relax! you'll be happier in the end.

 

C

A little over a week ago, a friend of mine had talked about fixing me up with a friend. I am divorced with two kids but still young. And I insisted that my friend let this guy know this, seeing that the guy is younger than myself. Anyway, to make the situation less awkward, my friend thought it would be a good idea, if the guy and I met first in a group setting. Unfortunately, the first night I had to leave early. But he was interested in seeing me again. The next night, we were able to spend more time together, again in a group setting, and at the end of the night, he asked me out. For the next few nights, he and I spoke on the phone and arranged a date. We went on the date and had a very good time. At the end of the night, he asked if he could call me and I said 'yes'. The following night, he called me and asked me what I was doing and I was going out to a place where I know he usually hangs out at. He said he was going there also. I then asked if it bothered him if I was going, because he had been going there for awhile and I just started going there. He said 'No, not at all.' When I got there he came up and we talked for a few. I had decided that I would not hang on him and let him do his thing because we weren't really together and he was with his friends. Every once in awhile he and I would get together and talk and touch each other a little bit but nothing big. At the end of the night, as we were all walking to our cars, he followed me to mine and asked if I was upset and I said 'No, not at all.' He then asked if he could call me 'tomorrow.' And I said sure. I slightly grab his hand to pull him a little closer, kind of hoping for a kiss, but he just said 'Talk to you tomorrow' and went to his car. I was a little baffled but his friends were all around and he is kind of shy. Well, unfortunately, as I was pulling out my tires squealed a little bit due to baldness. And I was afraid he might have thought I was mad, and I figured when he called 'tomorrow', I would explain. Well, it has been two days and I haven't heard from him. I know it was the weekend and he probably got busy, but he doesn't seem the type to say he'll call and not call, especially for two days. I do not want to call him and put pressure on him. But I am not sure what else to do?