How do you tell if they really want you gone

[vikingruler]

My wife and I have been officially/spacially seperated for 3 weeks. We have has years of communication problems. I also cheated 2 and 1/2 years ago with a prostitute because (now after analyzing myself) I was feeling neglect from her, she tells me she was feeling neglect from me. We have a lot of issue that we need to work on, I have started 8 months ago when she scared me with asking for a seperation. She on the other had is steadfast that she has no fault in this.

 

Now about 5 weeks ago she started talking to OM, and it quickly turned into a very flirtatous txt and cell relationship.

 

I found out and asked her if she was going to see him - she said yes.

 

Being hurt and confused i then left the house and wanted to give her some time.

 

She spent the next week and half talking and hanging out with the OM. I have been told he is a player and isn't going to be around forever, he travels a lot and has lives basically out of his bronco and his friends and family places, but he has told my wife that he loves her and wants to be with her.

 

I pretty sure she isn't totally falling for it but she is definitely enjoying the attention and his funness.

 

Here comes to my problem, she has called me a lot of names, has said she hates me, has said she wants the separation finalized, the house on the market and us to move on with different lives. Which is hard since we have 3 kids. What kills me is verytime I say lets sit down and talk abou the separation agreement its ends up in a fight, not about the agreement but about everything else. When we talk about putting the house on the market she says I thought you were going to give me some time to think and heal.

 

So I don't know if she is leading me along or really and honestly confused. I am walking on eggshells trying to win her back but not being the doormat either.

 

She has been mostly a stay at home mom - I have tried to provide her the very best in life and I have been successful in that- so now she has her dream job - gymnastics coach - its an hour away from our home and she works 3 nights a week from 4:30 to 7:30 not making a lot of money. Now I support her in this because its her dream. Now she wants me to take the kids from her at the gym and either take them home or hang out with them until she is done. So I love my kids and want to see them as much as possbile but isn't this being her babysitter. I told her that I wanted to see the kids on a defined schedule one that is fair to both of us - she blew up saying I wasn't supportive? She is the one wanting the separation and divorce.

 

So is she confused or wanting a doormat?