I need your input !!!

[NewMama06]

I am so conflicted right now!

 

So here is the story..

 

I dated an guy for a short while, and fell head over heels for him. He was so funny, and we had a blast everytime we were together. We split shortly after we started dating, he was leaving the military and we were not together long enough to consider my leaving with him. About two months later I started dating another guy, you could say i was on the "rebound", things started happening so quickly I didnt know what to think. I tried to break up with him a few months into the relationship but couldnt stand to break his heart, so I stayed. Two months later we were engaged, the following year we were married. He is a great guy dont get me wrong. Hes a wonderful father, and a great husband but I have been unfaithful and feel he deserves better. The entire time I have been with my husband I have kept in contact with my ex but only on a friendship level... every few months one of us will e-mail the other just to catch up and say hello. He was in a relationship until recently with the same girl for two years. So heres the problem... we share a few of the same friends.. we had not seen each other in quite some time, about a year and last august we ran back into each other at a coming home party for a friend of ours.

 

Since that time, august 05 we have been seeing each other off and on, i drive up there to see him where he lives, 2 hours away!, and he comes down to see me. He has talked about me coming to be with him where he lives and leaving my husband, and i have seriously thought about doing so. I dont know what to do. I dont feel a connection with my husband anymore but the only thing that is stopping me from a divorce is that he is a good guy and i couldnt stand the thought of breaking his heart, and telling him that i have been unfaithful..

 

if he knew that i have cheated he would leave me in instant but i dont want to break things off that way, as we have a child together... i have never stopped thinking about my ex the entire time i have been with my husband... i go and see my ex almost every weekend and the thing that has me questioning my marriage is that i feel bad for cheating on my husband but i dont ever feel any regret because my feelings are so strong for my ex... what do i do?? i dont know weither to leave or stay and try to make things work. ... please help