bexy Posted April 19, 2006 Posted April 19, 2006 My name is Becky I am 17 and I have got a chinese boyfriend aged 26, we have been together for about 2 years. When I hit 18 he wants to get married. I told him im not ready for this kind of commitment but he tells me there's only a certain amount of times you can renew your visa, and that the home office could tell him to go back to China at any time, so that way we'll never be able to see eachother again, I dont want to lose him, but i'm not ready for marriage. please can someone help me choose the right way.
a4a Posted April 19, 2006 Posted April 19, 2006 hmm, this sounds like a troll smells like a troll. hummmm....... could it be?
burning 4 revenge Posted April 19, 2006 Posted April 19, 2006 hmm, this sounds like a troll Yeah, I agree totally. "Becky", how am I supposed to believe this isn't bullsh*t?
tikigods Posted April 19, 2006 Posted April 19, 2006 NEVER EVER EVER EVER get married to someone just so they can stay in the country. Never EVER EVER get married to someone when you aren't ready. Run run away!
bab Posted April 19, 2006 Posted April 19, 2006 Do NOT marry him. Tell him NO and that it's not up for discussion. Period.
Pyro Posted April 19, 2006 Posted April 19, 2006 Yeah, I agree totally. "Becky", how am I supposed to believe this isn't bullsh*t? Who is to decide whether someone is BS'ing or not? Knowone knows who is being 100% honest or not on here. Becky, I would tell him that you are not ready. Never get forced into doing something that you are not ready for. You will regret it.
Citizen Erased Posted April 19, 2006 Posted April 19, 2006 Yeah, I agree totally. "Becky", how am I supposed to believe this isn't bullsh*t? Isn't it amazing how someone who shows trollish behaviour themsleves chooses to point the finger... friend of yours?
HokeyReligions Posted April 19, 2006 Posted April 19, 2006 So you were 15 and he was 24 when you started dating? What do your parents say about this? If he's pressuring you, talk to your parents. Or better yet, tell him "sorry, but I'm not ready" and if he breaks it off with you, then you know that he doesn't really love you and you can nurse your broken heart for a few months and then start dating others and realize that you have a whole life ahead of you filled with other loves and wonderful experiences. If he wants to stay in America, he'll find a way to do so without marriage. Millions of others do. If he's so concerned, then he should approach his employer or find a new employer that will keep him here on a work visa. Millions do that too.
burning 4 revenge Posted April 20, 2006 Posted April 20, 2006 Isn't it amazing how someone who shows trollish behaviour themsleves chooses to point the finger... friend of yours? How do you know I am not the OP?
Citizen Erased Posted April 20, 2006 Posted April 20, 2006 How do you know I am not the OP? Ah touche! I guess it was just such typical behaviour I thought you werent that stupid for a troll that is...
aleatoryd Posted April 21, 2006 Posted April 21, 2006 Trolls aside... I say you don't marry him and then if he goes back to China you keep a LDR going and try to resolve the issues. At 18 its young to be getting married unless you are really sure its right. Don't just be a passport solution for some guy. If he goes back to China and makes an effort and you decide to marry then do so. At least this way you get time to work out what you want and if he turns nasty or dumps you after this then really he doesn't sound like a guy you want to be married to.
RecordProducer Posted April 21, 2006 Posted April 21, 2006 Becky, he wants to use you to stay in the US. He is not proposing because he will never see you again and it breaks his heart. Talk to your parents or someone older than you that you trust.
cutiepie_Muffet Posted April 21, 2006 Posted April 21, 2006 DO NOT MARRY THAT GUY BECKY! He only wants to stay in the country. I had an experience with an Egyptian guy I was dating. He kept pressuring me to marry him and telling me that he loved me so deeply and i nearly did it too. But I played a dirty trick on him. I had found his profile on a dating site a few months prior to this and so i made up a fake profile and put a sexy girl's pic in it. She wrote to him and they corresponded for about 2 weeks and then she asked him if he was in a relationship. That bastard said that he had just ended a relationship with a girl and we was describing me. He was trying to start a relationship with my fake character. I confronted him one day by showing him the fake girl's pic one day and he nearly took a s*** right on the spot. I figured if he was doing that s*** with my fake profile he must have been doing it with other women. He only wanted to stay in the country.
Groovy Posted April 22, 2006 Posted April 22, 2006 Yeah, say no! I had a guy who wanted to marry me for money and rushed me. Marriage is with the intention of forever and love takes time to grow, there should be no hurry. And if someone really loves you they will wait years. It sounds like your a green card, not true love. You deserve better!
Guest Posted June 15, 2006 Posted June 15, 2006 Don't do it. Take it from somebody who did marry a guy for that purpose (long story) and now I am paying dearly for it aka going through a nasty divorce. Only marry if you are ready to make a commitment FOR LOVE.
AMBERINVEGAS Posted June 17, 2006 Posted June 17, 2006 It's painfully obvious that he wants you to marry him so he can become a legal resident of the US. He could divorce you in a year and he still can stay in the US. Plus you are FAR TOO YOUNG TO BE GETTING MARRIED. In my humble opinion.
genegri Posted June 17, 2006 Posted June 17, 2006 i actually hope this is a troll. otherwise, there are just so many things wrong at different levels for a 17 year old to even ask this question. In case you are serious, the answer is of course 'Don't marry him!'
Mary3 Posted June 18, 2006 Posted June 18, 2006 i actually hope this is a troll. otherwise, there are just so many things wrong at different levels for a 17 year old to even ask this question. In case you are serious, the answer is of course 'Don't marry him!' At 15 were you having sex with this older man ? If so, that illegal. Just wondering,....( anything under 18 )...
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