interwurm Posted April 20, 2006 Share Posted April 20, 2006 So, we have been together for over 4 years now, 3 school years of which I have been in AZ and she in CA. She harasses me every day because she wants me to cyber or have phone sex with her. She says she can't masturbate without me taking an active part in it. I don't want to cyber or have phone sex. I don't like it. We used to do it a lot my freshman year, but I don't like it anymore. I dunno, maybe part of it is that we haven't found a suitable way to do video chat, and I'm more visual. She thinks that it's because I'm not attracted to her anymore and she's getting fat. I really hate it when she says things like this. I really don't know what to do. This is starting to evolve into a real problem. I wish she would get in shape so she'd have a good self-concept. I wish she could just wait till I come home to satisfy her urges. Sometimes I feel like she misses sex more than she misses me. As for me, at this point I am trying desperately to finish out the semester better than I started it. A lot of times I don't have time, and when I have time, I don't want to. She feels like I'm not attracted to her. I feel like she cares more about sex than my feelings. Ugh... I guess that gives a pretty good idea of the situation. Link to post Share on other sites
scottishgirl Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 hi there, maybe if she could send you some saucy pictures it would help you? if you really dont want to do it then dont, if you have been together so long then she will know deep down that you love her and find her attractive, i think cyber or phone sex should be a joint decission and can also lose the appeal if overdone. explain everything to her and i hope it goes well. Link to post Share on other sites
KittenMoon Posted April 21, 2006 Share Posted April 21, 2006 Girl think guys think and want sex, any way, any form. (and some obviously do) By you not being interested in LD sex, she may think it has something to do with HER, not with the act itself. She's struggling to find the right way to entice you and she's blaming herself and her appearance when you aren't interested. Sorry, this is a tendency in girls. (Thank you media!) Anyways, this is just a possibility. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 I would copy past this post and send it to her with a note, like I love you. And send her a webcam.. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted May 10, 2006 Share Posted May 10, 2006 From what I heard on here I don't think your girlfriend simply misses sex but not you. It's hard to separate the two right. For me like I'm in a LDR and haven't getting laid for more than three months, and boy, is that hard. Link to post Share on other sites
je andre Posted May 10, 2006 Share Posted May 10, 2006 Girl think guys think and want sex, any way, any form. (and some obviously do) By you not being interested in LD sex, she may think it has something to do with HER, not with the act itself. She's struggling to find the right way to entice you and she's blaming herself and her appearance when you aren't interested. Sorry, this is a tendency in girls. (Thank you media!) Anyways, this is just a possibility. i have to agree with kittenmoon on this. im in a long distance relationship with my bf well technically i am in but were taking a step back just few days ago. but before that weve been doing ldr now for 9 months prior to that weve been together for 7 years like 24/7. and the transition was hard. and we had to acknowledge that we have sexual needs as partners. we would cope up with it thru phone and video chat. there would be times and i think more than few times i would be sexually frustrated more than the usual because of the physical distance. and the more that you dont see of the person the more that you think about him and miss him. as a female, and we over analyze things, i would be upset if my partner is not missing me as much as i miss him or that he doesnt want me as much as i want him. what do we do? we conjure up ways to have you want us. and if its not working we feel that its because you dont want us anymore. so i can understand why your girl is feeling so low and ugly and fat... you might not do it intentionally but in the female mind, you are rejecting her. talk to her. tell her what youre thinking and feeling at the same be fair to her and acknowledge the fact that she does have needs. assure her that its not her body. it may sound stupid and shallow to guys, but its not to us females. be honest to her because thats the only way it will work. remember relationship is always a give and take relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
luvvedupnyc Posted May 11, 2006 Share Posted May 11, 2006 Yeah webcams can help.... they allow u too see ur other half! Physical contact is a big part... and I suppose u have to get used to it.... I just keep busy and focus on the next meeting. Link to post Share on other sites
Jadey Posted May 14, 2006 Share Posted May 14, 2006 She's feeling insecure about her body. Just let her know, OFTEN, that you think she is beautiful and she has nothing to worry about, that you are very attracted to her, but cyber and phone sex doesn't really do it for you. I spoke to my guy about phone sex, and he too said he dislikes the idea and it does nothing for him, that it is stupid. I too took it personal, and thought it's about ME. Which is more than likely isn't. But that's just how a lot of females think. SO yeah, letting her know you find her beautiful and sexy, and it's nothng against her should do the trick. But I also think you should try some webcam action Then you are getting visual AND you're helping get her off. You're both happ. Sorted?! Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
ronnieromance Posted May 16, 2006 Share Posted May 16, 2006 Why don't you try something like webdate? They have chatrooms you can interact in. You can make private rooms too. -R- Link to post Share on other sites
Youngblood Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 Did anyone here have a fantasy phone sex adventure or how to do phone sex through the net? There are a lot of sites I have searched with numerous phone sex babes and women with different phone sex techniques but I happened to stumble on this site: http://elegantsatisfaction.com and the site seems to be very private yet very discreet phone sex women that will assist you all the way and when you are into the hot erotic phone sex action, DAMN, this phone sex babe knows every phone sex technique that applies to my hot erotic fantasies! What an experience. I also found out that any form of sex is a THERAPY. Hmmm… that looks like a fact to me coz of my busy schedule since I am part of top management from an IT firm. No time for socializing in bars, etc. So the best solution and effective therapy was phone sex adventure. No regrets man. I love the site and my personal sex phone mate who is really HOT. What is important is you release the power within and yet they abide with my security of my privacy. Just want to share my opinion and great adventure to my forum friends… Check the site. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 She is acting as if cyber sex is the same as regular sex. You don't want to have phone sex with her because she gained weight? If you're not attracted to her anymore then what the hell are you doing with her in a long distance relationship - has she asked herself this? A part of women's insecurity about looks (and extends to all other areas, from not being good in bed to disregarding her own intellect as it seems to be less important) is due to the myth that men have launched. However, it doesn't have much to do with reality. For example, my 7-year old son stated that Barbie dolls are very beautiful and he would like to have a girl that looks like that, but also smart and good. When you hear stuff like that from men all the time and you don't resemble Barbie, you feel like you're the fattest and ugliest person in the world. In reality, my son fell for an average girl and stopped liking her when he realized that she, according to him, was not such a good friend. If you wonder why this is relevant at all, it's because I think your girlfriend has more issues with her weight complex than cyber sex. I think the cyber sex problem is just a consequence of the previous thing. In my opinion, what you need to do is assure her that she is the most beautiful woman in the world to you and that you don't care about perfect looks, but she happens to be perfect in your eyes, regardless of whether she has 10 lbs more or less than the models in the magazines. Also explain to her that you simply got tired of cyber sex as it only makes you suffer and miss her more; so you would rather wait for the real thing without being reminded regularly of what you've been missing for so long. My husband and I were in a long-distance relationship for a year and a half and during that time we (who are very sexual and attracted to each other) only had cyber-cam sex once. That's it. We realized then that it only made us yearn for each other more and feel lonelier. It's not about what you say, but how you say it. So try to explain these things to her in a soft and loving way. Regarding your assumption that she misses sex more than she misses you, it's not true. She misses sex WITH YOU more than she misses conversations with you, because she has them regularly, unlike sex. If she wanted just sex, she could've gotten it anywhere. When a woman loves a man, she desires him sexually a lot, that's normal. Link to post Share on other sites
catherine Posted May 26, 2006 Share Posted May 26, 2006 I myself have been in a long distance relationship now for two years. I must say it has been one of the hardest things that I have yet to endure. I am very much in love with my partner. I have been for quite some time. However, it has been a trial as of late. Relative to cyber sex, we have cams (all the bells and whistles). We use to use the web cam frequently, not just as a sexual outlet but just as a tool to be able to see one another when we talked. It is the closet thing to being in the same room with one another when the pc is all that you have. Lately however, well a bit longer than lately the cams never go on anymore. Not even just to see one another when we talk. With my partner there is always some reason as to why waht use to be a daily thing is now something that is non existent in our relationship. The reasons I get are general ones as to why this has stopped. It is MSN or the new roommate. It is always something. So basically I have gone from seeing him every day for hours at a time to not seeing him at all. Relative to the sexual side of things that has become non existent as well. Again an array of reasons. My intuition nags me that there is more than meets the eye here, even though he repeatedly claims that he loves me and misses me like crazy. I can only ask if this is the case then why have we gone from one extreme to another? Link to post Share on other sites
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